I love my niece and nephew

They're so cute.
There were no disasters--just a couple of close calls when they started whining about who got whose candy, and who got to watch their show on tv while the other one showered first. When I tucked them in, Noah said, "shouldn't we hug?" awwww. I'll try to think of other highlights. I was going to go out afterward, but when I called, I was told to "go home." Alrighty then. (Oh, and Jill feels the exact same way as me about One Hundred Years of Solitude. That made me feel better. She was able to put it down and not look back. I have to say as I'm nearing the end, I'm SORT OF liking it a little more. We'll see what happens; I'll let you know. I know you care. I know you do.

Okay, now I'm just sad.

I hate moods.
I think sometimes when I have fun it makes me sad the next day because...I don't know...maybe it's back to reality after knowing something different. That sounds stupid and overly dramatic, but you get the gist...hopefully. I just got an email from my mom that is a travel itinerary--it's either a sample itinerary--or she's going all sorts of cool places in April...Singapore, Mumbai, Dubai, Alexandria, and more.

I don't understand how she's able to do this, but that's amazing. I better call and get the info. I feel guilty that I haven't been good about calling my family. :(

The job search makes me sad because (whispered tone) I don't want to be an assistant to anyone. I want to do work that I'm proud of, and I want to use my brain (gasp), and not just do grunt work that others don't want to have to do. It's not good on my esteem. I'm smarter than that. My old boss said, 'this isn't what you want to do for the rest of your life, is it?' How do you answer something like that to your boss?! Maybe that's part of the problem: I was raised to do whatever it takes to get the job; so....I feel like I'm being less than honest at interviews. That would explain how mentally exhausted I feel afterward.

I just need hugs and love and support right now. Things are starting to turn around, but nothing is in place yet.

Yeah, I'm back because after writing that, I started crying. I hate that people see crying as high-maintenance or unstable or whatever..it's not. It's just being human. I just hate when I feel defeated and like everything is a stress. None of this is horrible or anything, but blagh.

I feel stressed

This is boring, but I do. My head hurts; I'm not sure if it's because of stress or beer. Tonight I babysit Noah and Zoe. I have to find a job; none of the ones I interviewed for so far are just right, but I would take any of them obviously. I need to be moving out, but that has to wait til the end of the month. And I need money. ugh.

pant pant

Well, tonight was fun in its boredom. so cute.

Another Quote from the never-ending book

"Meme felt the weight of his hand on her knee and she knew that they were both arriving at the other side of abandonment at that instant."

that's hot.

Thinking of what to do with funny thought

I made Horatio Sans some coffee today. I got the correct hoRatio Sans cinnamon.

That may need a little work.

One Hundred Years ...

"The world was reduced to the surface of her skin and her inner self was safe from all bitterness. It pained her not to have had that revelation many years before when it had still been possible to purify memories and reconstruct the universe under a new light and evoke without trembling Pietro Crespi's smell of lavender at dusk and rescue Rebeca from her slough of misery, not out of hatred or out of love but because of the measureless understanding of solitude." --Gabriel Garcia Marquez

hee hee

it happened again; it's so funny when I post something online and I get a message back assuming I'm a male.
"You sir, get my upvote, and more importantly - my respect."

....because I really care about a stranger's respect!?

Home

Jenny invited me to remedial movie night part I for "The Hunt for Red October." Yeah, I had never seen the whole thing. I didn't finish my book last night, but I got through some of it. Maybe I'll read more tonight. This book is the bane of my existence right now. (exaggeration)

Well...?

Who thinks I should go out to a certain place by myself tonight?....Bueller? ..... Bueller? Well...if no one speaks up, maybe I won't. I will play it by ear. Shit, the soup...I forgot I'm heating it up; gotta go!

Look at Me!

and how much I'm not saying my feelings.
I'm awesome.

Oy, still with the solitude...

Yeah, that's right. I'm STILLLLLLL reading One Hundred Years of Solitude. son of a bitch. I put it down for like a month, but I got too far in to turn back; I must finish. I am sitting down with a mocha in my red chair and FUCKING FINISHING IT. (or if the past is any judge, I'll read two pages and get distracted.

I Had a Dream...

I just woke up from having a dream so I don't remember it well, but I was in a British comedy movie and I THINK I was explaining to this butler type guy in a department store the 'er mah gerd' thing. Only it wasn't that..it was in the dream and I was just explaining that we were putting an 'er' in words and people's names, and he was like, 'JOLLY GOOD FUN!'

I need to go back to bed. I don't really remember well. Good night, my eyes are stingy.

NO. WAY.

I am NOT going to watch the movie "Quill: The Secret Life of Guard Dogs" because it looks entirely TOO heart-warming.

My other favorite video game growing up...

My favorite arcade game!

(the person in the video is HORRIBLE at it).

Here. You're welcome.

This is old, but who cares?

Center of the Universe

to ponder...

is it too late in a short season to try to change how team does things? Get everyone's emails or phone numbers, and figure out who's going to play and when each week....who would do this? would there be a right and a wrong way? should we just table this for summer and do it in the fall?

SHUT! UP!

OHMYGOSHI'mSuchAGirlWhenItcomesToSHOES!!!

I would not walk in these heels, but oh my gosh, this is my very favorite shade of my very favorite color (the eggplant ones) in a totally cute Mary Jane!!! Weird, almost sexual reaction going on here. Hold me?
If only the heel was much shorter!

not going

til Monday, I don't think.

Good news is that Grooveshark's no longer playing an ad before music plays. That was driving me nuts and I wasn't listening nearly as much, but now maybe I'll start listening more again, since I don't have to wait 30 seconds...that's really too much.

Interview Friday

So, Yes, I have an interview Friday at the Law Bulletin at 1:30. I'm not sure how my interview today went; I think it went okay. It was nice that it was right off the train. I want an egg salad sandwich; isn't that weird? I probably won't have one though. Bye.

Oh, AND...

Next Tuesday it's Aunt Cole to the rescue. I am babysitting for Noah and Zoe while Eric and Jill go to a Cubs' game. I'm a little envious because that sounds fun, but at least I'm going to earn a little cold, hard CASH.

omg that was fun.

I had a lot of fun; I'm so glad I went out for awhile. Target accepted my return for a store credit afterward. I didn't have time to shop, but in the next couple days or so I'll go buy $26 worth of stuff. So, I had an interview at DLA Piper; it went well and I tested well. part time. I had a phone interview with the Tribune for Project Coordinator; I should hear tomorrow if I get an interview, but it sounded good. Part-time, as well. Tomorrow at 2 I have an interview at Ounce of Prevention Fund. Full-time. I have to apply to a lot more jobs now. I think the one tomorrow is on Monroe and something, but I need to check. I'll either drive and park on Jackson, or take the el. Wish me luck. I left tonight so giddy. I might have to trim my bangs more. I should ride my bike more.

Ulterior Motives (woops--it's not alterior)

I just applied for a job at an apartment-finding organization. Talk about petting two cats with one hand...that would help me on two fronts!

When It Goes Wrong...

I have one hour to think on this:
When interpersonal relationships (friend, chatting, more, etc) don't go well, what am I contributing? i.e. what do I do wrong when talking to someone? (that's my interpretation of the question)

I would say:
1. I'm anxious, and that comes through and makes the other person anxious.
2. I'm a little too clingy/needy. I don't want to admit that, but I think it might be true. I have too much to lose because I really do want more friends, and I really am always looking for someone with whom I can really connect because that is so rare (so when I find someone with whom I connect, I am all my worst qualities probably because I'm all ZOMG!!)
3. Fear. I know what I do wrong (do I ?), and so I'm worried about how I'll come across; that could be a self-fulfilling prophecy.
4. I'm too worried about what the other person is thinking/how I'm coming across/and controlling the situation (if the other person looks uncomfortable or bored, I BETTER ADDRESS IT. THAT'LL WORK?! rather than just letting things be...that's really hard for me because I'm scared people will reject me.)
5. Expecting the worst.
6. Overly self-conscious.

P.S. I should note that all of this stuff is positively correlated with how much I dig someone. People that I don't really care about probably get the coolest most collected me (but also the most aloof and bitchy, or just boring-seeming). If someone is the bee's knees they get the me that is needy and self-conscious and controlling and all those lovely traits. What's not to love? I mean really..?!
STARFISH LOVES YOU!!! (I love that part from Charlie the Unicorn or whatever that stupid video is)

THUNDER! THUNDER! THUNDER CATS!!

ENJOY THE STORM!!

REALLY?!

I get a call about an interview at the Trib and then I start getting sales calls to subscribe to their paper? OMG. Job search hazards.

Answer One

French Film Festival next weekend

Nicole!

Remember to look up dates of French Film Festival, and bands playing at Square Roots Festival. Stop worrying and being insecure.

I Wendy, I Wanda, I Wonder...

I have always been under the impression that people like hearing nice things about themselves, so if I have something nice to say, I try to share it. But maybe it's like asking someone, 'are you okay?' when they seem upset...annoying and uncomfortable...well, weighing the odds, I think it's better to say nice things than to keep them to myself because there are not enough people in the world who tell people nice things...sincerely, of course.

Work On: Reframing

Perspective...
Empowerment.
Brainstorming.

Thunderstorm!

Good night, and enjoy listening to the thunder and rain. I know I am!

Interview Wed July 25 @ 2

hurray! look up info.

sorta true

mmmm, fresh herbs!

I can't decide if I like cilantro better, or basil better? Those are, by far, my two favorite spices. But which one do I like better? You know, I think it's basil. I especially love all things caprese (fresh mozzarella, basil, tomatoes, and balsamic vinaigrette or vinegar: what's the difference?) update: from WikiAnswers: "Balsamic Vinegar is vinegar made from grapes, as opposed to rice vinegar, or white wine vinegar. Balsamic Vinegrette is a salad dressing, specifically a mixture of Balsamic Vinegar, often with herbs, spices, and olive oil."

schtoof

I want to write about people when a.) I'm jubilant about the person/people/situation, 2) I miss the people, or 3) I am insecure about the people/situation(s).

What is my most persuasive argument for why I should not trust my own judgment when it comes to interpersonal relationships (e.g. making friends)?

historY: when I have pushed myself to *try* to make friends, it NEVER works. What works well is when other people initiate friendships with me. Also, I don't think I know boundaries as well as I should.

In my own estimation, when an interaction with someone is bad, what is my contribution? i.e. What are my disadvantages in interpersonal communication?
My answer so far: 1. My anxiety shows through and makes other people nervous.
2. insecure; I don't think they like me as much as I like them.

3. Vicious cycle: I know my faults and think too much about them; hence, perpetuating them.

4.

darn

James Taylor at Ravinia is sold out. Even though I have no expendable income, it's a shame because I'd really like to go see him. It would probably be lame though. A bunch of old hippies. Just kidding.

Two halves equal a whole, right?

Thursday I have an interview for a part=time position downtown. I just got an email asking if I'd be interested in a part-time position somewhere else. Both are 15-20 hours. What I'm hoping (if I can't find anything else) is that I could work both and end up with full-time hours. One of the places said the hours can be flexible; I'm not sure about the second place because I only just got my first email. I don't even know if I'll hear back. Time to look for more more more. Time's a tickin'! (no) tickin!' (no) ticking.

Hmm, AND an email about a job that has 1-2 months' training in Schaumburg, and then it's work-from-home doing Level I helpdesk remotely. I've done level one help desk, although not remotely, but I like the idea of that. But I don't know if I'm qualified. Installing software and resetting passwords is easy-peasy, but connection issues could be harder, but there is training. And split shifts, 6-10am and 3-midnight. That sounds like a lot of waiting around just in case there's work. Well, anyway, it's definitely worth getting more information, so I'll reply!

funny to me

When I was driving around, I saw this guy walking down the street puffing on a pipe. It seemed very strange on a hot summer day, and I just cracked up for a minute. It probably wouldn't have been so funny except the guy was so young, and with it being summer, and he was walking, whatever, it was funny to me, so screw you.

WTH?

Apparently, my friend's sister is mad that I asked her what's involved in getting one's teaching certification because she's been working at this for years and sees it as a calling, not convenience, and there are not jobs.

I don't get it, but my friend said NOT to contact her about it again because she is "livid." What the heck? I guess the way I worded it sounded more flippant than I actually meant because I used phrases like 'for a while' and 'until I can...' But that doesn't mean I wasn't taking it seriously. I feel really bad, but I also find it rather strange. It's hard when we need to really respect others' feelings and that things might upset them that we do not understand, but we just don't get it. Then sometimes, we might get annoyed because it seems weird to us. But especially when someone says DON'T BRING IT UP AGAIN, or something similar, HOW THE HELL are you supposed to iron things out with that person?! See, there is this thing we call 'communication.' It is used in order to understand each other. Without USING it, we have no hope of understanding each other and are walking around with all sorts of misunderstandings, grievances, and general negativity. ugh. Rather than tell ME that she was upset and why, she triangulated the issue by telling her sister. So, I will use my friend as the middle man if I must. But that's only going to work SO well...

Not like gold fabric, but like pathetic

I have spent WAY too much time today staring at pictures and commenting about pictures online. (I guess one probably no longer has to clarify 'online', huh?) My favorite is the rare occasion when someone refers to me as 'sir.'

Damn it, I MUST look up a definitive answer about where punctuation goes. My professor completely screwed that up for me. GRRR. It really bothers me.

YAY! Summer

I am excited because just yesterday I was asking where the lemonade stands of yore are. Lo and behold, across the street they set up a lemonade stand just now! So I went over (first customer; a little embarrassing! I guess I'm overly eager about everything.) It was only $.50 with a popsicle for an additional $.25. I just got the lemonade and gave them $2.00. Hopefully, that will get them excited like extra money always got me excited. It was a little sweet, but still, delicious!

dumb dream

I had a dream that I was hanging around with Michael Scott (The Office), and he was being gross. That is all.

Haricot Vert

When does a green bean cross over and become haricot vert?
Is it after it has a Bean Mitzvah?

Here is your pittance

Okay, it might not be much, but if you're in favor of getting free money from the government, go here (state treasurer) to see if you can claim any money as many have.

le francais

I'm much better at speaking it when I can just imitate someone else saying stuff. h is mostly silent. I have no idea how to write this stuff really though. on the letter 'i' now.

Monday at 2p.m.

YAY! Another phone interview. Monday at 2.

Bobarobareeba

I want rhubarb pie so bad! please help me in my quest for rhubarb pie. I must please partake of your pie.

BAD EMAIL CLIENT!

Very, very bad.

Responses about jobs I applied for should never be put into my spam folder. grrumble!

"Hi Nicole,
I received your resume in response to our advertisement for a Marketing Assistant. Can I ask, what are your salary requirements? The position that we have open has a range of $... - $... to start. It is a career track position, but is entry level at this point. Let me know if you are interested. Thank you."

a Jack Spicer poem

Thing Language
By Jack Spicer

This ocean, humiliating in its disguises
Tougher than anything.
No one listens to poetry. The ocean
Does not mean to be listened to. A drop
Or crash of water. It means
Nothing.
It
Is bread and butter
Pepper and salt. The death
That young men hope for. Aimlessly
It pounds the shore. White and aimless signals. No
One listens to poetry.

Two Phone Interviews are Better Than None

I had one very brief phone interview today for temp or temp-to-perm, and tomorrow morning I have one for a part-time legal recruiting assistant.

Quote

“I don’t think about whether people will remember me or not. I’ve been an okay person. I’ve learned a lot. I’ve taught people a thing or two. That’s what’s important.”
– Julia Child

Thinking...continued

the problem with making a list of songs that make me happy is that that is every tenth song or something. So, this will just be stuff I think of (I'm looking at some of my playlists), and then I'll edit down. Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey by Paul McCartney. In the Mood by Glenn Miller. Self-Esteem by The Offspring. Room Without a Windows by Operation Ivy. Bicycle Race by Queen Cycling is Fun by Shonen Knife. Saturday in the Park by Chicago. Dyslexic Heart by Paul Westerberg. Institutionalized by Suicidal Tendencies. Go by the Apples in Stereo. Afternoons and Coffee Spoons (Counting Crows). 9 mm. goes Bang by Krs One. (what?! I know I don't listen to it the one I'm probably supposed to...I sing along like they're singing about jelly beans and balloons and clowns or something. Totally FUN!) I'm Sorry that I got Fat by Wesley Willis. (see, now I'm just picking all the songs that I think are fun on one of my playlists. This is going to take forever! I'll definitely have to be more...selective.) Why Does the Sun Shine by They Might be Giants (actually, a whole bunch of their songs would do!) more later...........It Must be Love by Madness.

in a som a gu nia

huh?
I have insomnia.
I felt soooo tired.
But then...
I got in bed.
WIDE AWAKE.
Thinking about funny conversations.
Thinking about Charlie Rose brain series (seriously).
Thinking about job search.
I am so freaking weird.
Oh, and I have a headache.
So, I'll play online for awhile,
and hope that I get bored.

ReallY?

I'm not so sure these jobs match my search criteria. Nevertheless, I just applied for Associate Editor, Elementary Mathematics. we'll see.

The following jobs matched your search agent at Pearson.

Job Matches:

Software Testing Technician Job - Glenview, IL, US
Dir Test Security Job - Chicago, IL, US
Associate Editor, Elementary Mathematics Job - Glenview, IL, US
Sr Editor, Elementary Mathematics Job - Glenview, IL, US
Editor, Elementary Mathematics Job - Glenview, IL, US
Pearson Education Internship Program (PEIP) - Media Development Intern Job - Glenview, IL, US
Production Coordinator Job - Glenview, IL, US

I knew I'd forget my dream

But I dreamed something last night about us talking in some secret code language. Something about a movie with my mom too, but I think that was a different dream. Maybe I'll remember more later.

Playlist

Songs that make me happy: For now, so I don't forget.. 1. Float On. Modest Mouse. 2. Dustland Fairytale. The Killers. 3.
more later.

oo oo oo

Since yesterday I made a playlist of songs that are really moving to me, now I should make a playlist of songs that make me really happy! But I don't have time right now--I just don't want to forget for later.

I'll just put it in a new post.

List? Liszt?

I wonder if it's a good idea (right now, I think it is) to make a list of songs that are so pretty to me that they often bring tears, or I just really enjoy them. Ooh, and then I'll make them links so that if anyone reads this, that person or those people can hear the songs. Too bad this wasn't collaborative, and then, people could add theirs to the list. Hurumph. Oh well! (post script: In making this list, every song so far has brought tears, so I'm accurate anyway...) post post script: if crying was a song, it would be Adagio in G Minor. As soon as the orchestra started playing on the video below, I just started bawling...I kind of hate how beautiful that song is (not really). In no particular order:


This usually makes me cry, but it didn't this time.

Gets me a lot of the time

I took a little break from listening to a song, and now I listened to it and teared up. Is it the melody that is so beautiful that makes us emotional, or is it that the melody evokes emotions, or is it the thoughts that go along with the idea of a song that make us emotional? Either way, it's nice. A good kind of emotional. It's just an interesting phenomenon that I guess doesn't need to be analyzed; I was just curious.

It inspired me to play piano for a while, and that was nice too. It's been a little while. I will never ever ever understand why anyone in his right mind (ah...) would not like hearing someone play music. Even if someone is struggling, I enjoy hearing live music--let alone if it's being played well. One of my favorite things when I was taking piano lessons a year or so ago was that her next door neighbor is a pianist in a jazz trio. Once in a while, as I was coming to or leaving the building, I'd hear them playing, and the only way I knew it wasn't a cd is that I could see them through the window playing. That was amazing. I would just stand there for a while. But I guess I"m of a relatively sound mind. I hate my neighbors. I guess I'm stubborn if it's still daytime; I'm never going to play with headphones as long as it's a decent hour because why should I? I guess I should consider it, but PLTH!

quote

"If you are distressed by anything external,

the pain is not due to the thing itself

but to your own estimate of it; and this you have

the power to revoke at any moment."

--Marcus Aurelius

from the Daily Kitten

Notes from inside my current two books

from One Hundred Years of Goddamn Reading:
"The town, instead of doubting her innocence, pitied her candor."

"...the secret of a good old age is simply an honorable pact with solitude."

the other one is pronounced like You-jhen-EE Grrlrrlranday (right??)

p.s. bad neighbors SUCK SUCK SUCK a lot!!!

Do I really not have a picture of Jill here?

Maybe I do, and I just don't remember. Anyway, here is a picture of my brother Eric and sis-in-law Jill! I think it's from 2011. (My brother must be sitting or something because he's 6'4".

Picture from four years ago

I can't believe this is from 2008, but I guess it is. Anyway, here is my brother Eric, and his kids Noah and Zoe. I love how happy Eric looks. :)

Vocab: a la The New Yorker

"ten·den·tious
   /tɛnˈdɛnʃəs/ Show Spelled[ten-den-shuhs] Show IPA
adjective
having or showing a definite tendency, bias, or purpose: a tendentious novel."

Lachrymose-intolerant

hahaha. That is too funny to me.

I'll go because it's air-conditioned

I could not care less about seeing Spider Man, but if friends invite me to movies, I generally go. Below is the New Yorker's review of the "re-boot" of Spiderman. I love the New Yorker sometimes only because it is so ridiculously brainy and verbose. Anyone who, in one review of *Spiderman*, mentions Faust AND Shakespeare is trying AWFULLY hard. It just is so funny. The comments on Rotten Tomatoes (which I generally don't like) are somewhat amusing if not misguided. See, I'm trying to do it too, but does that make sense? I don't think misguided is the right word. Oh, I know, I'll say that their memory of the installments of Spiderman is like Monsieur Swann recalling Odette's Boticelli-like face in the first of Proust's "Remembrance of Things Past" series. That makes just about no sense. But seriously, I think people often give the New Yorker a lot of shit because they don't understand. They don't understand because they don't want to think. This is the same reason many people don't like Shakespeare--they know they're supposed to--but they don't. Why? Because they don't understand it? Why don't they understand it? Because they have to think about it. They don't want to think about it. So...my opinion is that the New Yorker is somewhat similar to Shakespeare in that if you think about it, it's very clever, but if you don't think about it, it makes no sense.
New Yorker Review of Spiderman

I think I'm going to start reading this

Wit...

Toldja

Told you so...although it's not Scientific American (yet), here is the two-page (not paragraph) article from the NY Times about last night's CERN announcement, which I SO did not understand. NEVERTHELESS...after watching it, and then reading this article, this article made me want to NOT ever be a writer. article

mindfulness meditation

body scan=done. I do feel a lot more relaxed; I feel really good right now.

Adagio in G Minor

I love this song. (you have to be feeling pretty mellow, or else it's a little dull, but it's so pretty. I learned about it from the tv series "Rhythm of Life" with Sir George Martin.)
http://grooveshark.com/s/Adagio+In+G+Minor/3x65lq?src=5

Cherry Red

Whoopsie Daisy, I think I deleted this, but I like it.

I'm celebrating independently

Enjoy your independence from Britain and King George III.

no no, THIS is my favorite song

I'm totally kidding! But it does kind of crack me up; I enjoy it.
it does the body good

dumb me

I'm an idiot...I've been taking my medicine incorrectly. I should have called last week. oh well.

way over my head!

As if I didn't know it would be, but I'll just wait for the 3-paragraph article in Scientific American to dumb it down for me...there will probably be one. I think for the layperson it's more about the potential conclusions in the future.

Watch the webcast

here

2 a.m. CST

So, I think I'll stay awake to hear the CERN announcement about the Higgs boson particle. How could I not? boson

mnyeh

hi.

I guess there aren't fireworks tonight. I get some time alone for awhile. I'm so hungry. Maybe there is something to cook. I'll have to check; I don't remember. I have nothing to say; I just feel like saying it. I hesitated after typing "feel". haha. I'm trying really hard lately to not divulge too much except to my mom, Jenny, and Scott. I think I've done really well. Have a happy fourth of July. I'm listening to my grooveshark playlist; I can't 'believe this song isn't Blossom Dearie. I forgot who it is...Pennies from Heaven...some lady who sounds all high-pitched like Blossom Dearie. Now I might as well apply to a bunch of jobs online...even though people are not in the office for the majority of this week..maybe people aren't applying too, and so my resume will be at the top of the email when they're back in the office.

I'm so hungry; it didn't help that on the way home Terri Gross was interviewing people about grilling. OMG. Fresh Air is the best. Oh, and happy day, there is coffee left from this morning, and I don't have to feel guilty about staying up late tonight. I feel (UGH) like I'm starting to make good progress in my life; now I'm just anxious for results...more results. :)

The two things mainly that I miss about my old keyboard: this one doesn't have an Apple button, and it doesn't have volume control above the 9 and the 0. I was genuinely perplexed for about 30 seconds when the volume was too loud. What do I DO????

One of my favorite songs

Although I probably would say that about hundreds of songs, I do always love this song, and it is on one of my favorite albums. This was the first cassette tape I ever bought.

Thoughts Today

So, the problem with being a bit of a "people pleaser" is that you put others' happiness ahead of your own. That's not to say that I'm not plenty selfish too. I am. Also, for me to continue thinking about....what is the stumbling block that gets in the way of me doing what I know I need to do and think I want to do?

News Room

I finally got around to watching the first episode of Alan Sorkin's new show--since the West Wing--News Room. Okay, it's a lot of drama, and kind of silly, but I still enjoyed it. I really liked the cynicism of Jeff Daniels' character and the idealism of Emily Mortimer's character. Some of the lines were funny too. Anyway, I am tense and have a headache despite enjoying myself...good night.

such an inspiration for people

Frustration!!

It is NOT a good feeling to not get to drink the delicious juice in the fridge that I am so desperately craving because the lid is screwed on too tightly. ugh! More stupid water for me.

LOOK OUT FOR THE BLEH BLEH BLEH

You've got a bad connection!

I'm having so much fun being a dork today!!

I am practicing/learning French; I played/practiced the piano; I'm listening to my Grooveshark playlist; and I'm coloring in my Mandala Designs coloring book. Mature. So mature.

Right now Kool Thing by Sonic Youth is on, and it reminds me of my old friend Francis who used to sing, "Cool thing, I don't know the wo-rds...but I know exaactly how it go-es." That's how I'm singing along.

Now "We are Young" is playing. I'm so embarrassed to like this song, but to add to my dorkdom, I'm singing (yelling) along at the top of my lungs (not really) and don't know most of the words, so it's a lot of LAAA LAAAA LA LA LAAAAA.
What else should I do? I'm drinking coffee; I think I should have more cuz I'm not spazzy enough.
Fun!
STARFISH REALLY REALLY LOVES YOU!!!!

Me...being...not me....yet still me.

I think the cig is a nice touch. Still not my glasses; my eyes can see on their own.

picture from...hmm..2006, I think.

This is me when I worked a stint at a pool hall with a customer named Dave. I don't wear glasses; I was posing in his. If I was wearing a different outfit, I could almost look like a dominatrix. haha.

Tu veux prendre un verre? Je suis d'accord.

hee hee. I found my French immersion workbook; now I just need to find the accompanying cds.

Here is the problem I always have with French--aside from overall pronunciation and 'r's--I find myself saying everything like a question (going up at the end). I think that's because when I was there and didn't know much French at all, when I DID try to say stuff, I tried to imitate the way they talked. It seemed like that's how they talked. But I'm sure that's not true for every bloody sentence! (getting ready for U.K...just kidding) Oh by the way, here is my first and favorite playlist. I turned on "Collaborate"; I don't know what that means...if you, dear imaginary readers, can go and add songs...that's what I"m hoping. I hope you don't have to log in; I don't know if you do or not, and I assume it's anonymous, so see if you can add cool songs to add to my playlist; please? I love hearing others' suggestions. Cool? Cool.

I forgot about the Darling Buds!

I'm a tad bit embarrassed at how much I've always really enjoyed this song and "Crystal Clear". Thanks to Caleb for reminding me about them.

"Paul Gauguin playing the harmonium in his pants" 1895

from Retronaut. Doesn't he kind of look like John Cusack there??

dude

'Alice in Wonderland' by Salvador Dali, 1969, from Retronaut: "The Pool of Tears"

Oh so true. I'm positive. (get it?)

"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts."--Bertrand Russell