Top Ten Nice Things about 2013 big or small (give or take a couple!)

1. I got to know Noah and Zoe better while being nanny over the summer. 2. Verbal tic is almost completely gone. 3. I got a new cute haircut. 4. I had some really fun weekend outings (apple orchard, Saugatuck, Christmas lights) 5. Spent quality time with Mom. (2014: spend more time with Dad) 6. I got to talk more with Eric as a result of nanny gig over the summer. 7. I think I have 2-3 new people that I would now consider friends (2014: cultivate) 8. I asked about joining a Shakespeare book group (2014: follow up) 9. Communicated via email with Julie Hogan. 10. I bought a pair of jeans in the next size up rather than denying; they actually feel comfortable. 11. I worked on ways to feel better about being home all day not having a job. (2014: work on reframing about job and other things)

How I'm Spending My Evening:

Learning about hypocretin
Learning about Scrabble strategy
Learning about the brain
Listening to some music to see if it's worth saving

ugh

wow what an incredibly lazy day this is.

YAY!!

It was so nice to see him!

Nicole, try to remember this word

I like this word: abstemious: sparing; characterized by abstinence

I Do this to an Extent...

Stress and Sleep

Christmas 2013

Zoe made the holiday card: I love that Eric's head is cut off. That reminds me of when I used to take pictures of people when I was little. It's nice that Irene (Jill's mom) and David (Jill's Dad) are included. Too bad Dad and Pat weren't in it.

Merry Christmas!

Did you have a nice Christmas Eve? I did; back tomorrow morning.

Holiday Spirit

I gave money to Unicef in my brother's and sister-in-law's names for their Christmas/Hanukkah gifts (plus a cd each), and I just signed up to probably start volunteering again. Yesterday I went with my mom to donate some food that they were going to serve for dinner last night too. It feels good. I forgot how grateful and kind people in shelters are; so friendly!

HO HO HO

All my gifts are wrapped. I still need to buy gifts for Dad and Pat, but I don't know when we're celebrating yet. I wrapped a few cds and will let people decide which ones they want. I think that's the best way. I should probably shower tonight, but I may wait until tomorrow. I'm Feeling lazy.

judgment?

Is it tacky, or just too old-fashioned, to give used cds for Christmas/Hanukkah? I'm pretty broke, so that's what I'm doing. I just hope it's okay, and not shitty. I wish I'd get responses here, but maybe just typing it out will help???

It's too damn cold!

WHY is it so cold outside? I can't function when I'm outside. I needed to go look for a stocking stuffer each for my brother and Jill, but it was too cold, and I went home after the errand I had to do. Maybe I'll feel like trying again later in proper winter bundled-up clothes. Then again, it's warm in here....

Christmas Spirit

I went out with Mom for hot buttered rum by a fireplace and to look at Christmas lights. Devon Ave just west of the expressway has a neighborhood with very pretty houses and lights!

Indecision

I got up the guts to go shopping for jeans; I went to Old Navy and spent a ridiculous amount of time trying on the same three pairs of pants over and over again. Finally, I still couldn't decide so I got all three, plus a shirt and a sweater because they were only $6 and $10 respectively. I may return a pair of pants to get some of my money back if I end up not liking them. I'm in between sizes, so nothing looked and felt quite right.

Stupid weight gain!!!

I just tried on 3 pairs of jeans that no longer fit...like not even close. I just wore them last year. That's really depressing. It's so cliche to say that I'll start losing weight in the new year, but I just might. If I can eat just enough better for a while that I lose a little weight, then I'll feel better and maybe will start exercising again. I don't feel like doing anything in my current state. It all goes to my middle; it sucks.

I wish

I kind of wish we had Christmas decorations up; it feels a little like bah=humbug. At least my mom has decorations up. Zoe whispered to my mom that she thinks the person with the Christmas decorations is the one who should have people over for the holiday. We're doing it the other way around: Christmas at Eric's and Jill's. I'm looking forward to it. I should get a couple little gifts before then.

Should I, or Should I Not Shop?

I feel kind of like I should get little stocking stuffers for my mom, Jill, and Eric. That would involve shopping tomorrow or Monday (is Monday Christmas Eve, or is that Tuesday?) Plus, I need new jeans; I don't feel like going shopping, let alone trying stuff on...especially until I can lose at least 5 pounds. I know a couple of ideas for my mom. I need a job. It's scary when your money is finite.

Slow Start

I woke up and didn't feel like going to MOm's because I'm tired, but she said that she turned on the Christmas lights, has the fireplace lit, and has the stuff out to make fudge, and has a warm heart. How could I refuse?

First Christmas Gift!

I got a gift basket of chocolates from Dad and Pat! Yay!!

Package?

I'm supposed to get a Christmas package from Dad and Pat today. Nothing yet; I hope it comes soon!

So strange, but it kind of works....

I'm referring to the video. It's kind of funny. Link

Bad, overwhelmed day

1. Everything's stacking up. 2. It's hard to want to go out in public when you feel so fat. I was told last night by someone who doesn't have a censor that I look bigger than I ever have and have a fat ass. So nice. Plus, the other day my mom said, "How could you be tired?" along with a few other things kind of getting on my case. 3. Luckily (?) I have no where to go today. I'm just feeling a little mopey.

Fun at Mom's Tonight

I picked up Noah and Zoe and we went to Mom's. She served us egg nog in tea cups and Chex Mix in ramekins with lids. and horrible cheese pizza, but that's okay. Then we played "candy cane nana" where we hide candy canes and the others have to find them. Then we played Pick Up Sticks. Then we went to some place (I forgot the name) in Vernon Hills to see Christmas lights. They were really fun and had cartoon characters lit up and stuff. Then we went to Winberries for chocolate fondue. Yum. Great day. Noah's voice is changing! I can't believe it; he's 11! He's so cute and so is Zoe. He discovered "Grandma got run over by a Reindeer" and loved it! I warned Eric and Jill. Zoe rested her head on my arm while she was talking to me. So sweet.

Weeeird

It's kind of strange when your 'boyfriend' says I think you have a crush on ________, you should probably go on a date with him.

Professionalism on A SaturdaY?!

I just got my picture taken--about a million times--professionally by a friend. She may use it for advertising, and I can use it for LinkedIn, etc. As a result though, I have make-up on; blah! I feel like going out now, but I didn't want to go where she was going, but I also don't feel like going out by myself. Hm.

Another bizarre email from Mom

Did you get it? Are you penguins? Phelemena was great. You might not have liked. Did you get my text from the theater? Currier and Ives for tomorrow! Wish we had gotten to. My work when you were here so things look fun but crowded. Love

Lame?

I just took a dive in Words with Friends. Is that the right term? I purposely played a lesser word because I felt bad for beating her so much. Pathetic on my part, but her username has the word 'nana' in it, and then I started picturing some 90-year old lady, and I Didn't want to win by a landslide. I want to give her a chance. Come on, nana!!

I miss my friend

But I shouldn't text anything because I already did once, and I'm feeling a little insecure. I really hope I see him soon.

I suck.

I lost at pool tonight. I ate almost an entire chicken burrito when I got home: that tasted amazing. I got a completely enigmatic email from my mom; part of it was this: "Did you want to play words? When do you meet Eric? Tomorrow is suppose to mean snow . however, I still have the urge to see reindeer. Are you interested? Also, have you seen phelemena? Went out today to get evaporated milk and they had everything but that so no fudge yet. Didn't make the cut for the board but I'll try for another one if I see one. "

forget it.

2. Remain alert and awake at all times during work shift.

out tonight

I'm going to brave the cold to go out for a little while tonight.

Probably a Plan for Sunday

Pick up Noah and Zoe at 2:40 and go to mom's, then go out to Highland Park to see Christmas lights and "real reindeer!" Oh yeah, and out for chocolate fondue. I hope it works out; it sounds so fun!

What's gotten into me today?

Why has it turned out to be such a night of reflection? Weird. I just wish I had some answers.

My Personality Type: The Dreamy Idealist

My Personality Type: The Dreamy Idealist

I don't like winter

I'm not dealing well with this whole cold weather thing.

I'm feeling a little down

I've decided that a 'fat day' is better than an 'ugly day.' Today is an ugly day. Blagh. my mom told me I looked old without makeup. That didn't help. On the upside, I bought a pair of boots as my Christmas gift to myself. I just need to get some spray to protect them, and then wrap them. I got a deal because I got them at a kids' store (benefit of having small feet). I took my mom to get an MRI today; she thinks it will be good news that she's excited about regarding her back (I didn't even know her back was bothering her! Result of other stuff hurting, I think.) And the cold weather was pissing me off. But I'll try to focus on the boots. I also got Zoe's Hannukah gift (which we celebrate on Christmas...weird family, I guess! :)

It's a Winter Wonderland!

The snow looks so pretty outside! It's a great day to be indoors and just look out!

Turning out to be a nice night

Left over Chinese food. I watched the end of Purple Rose of Cairo, and now With Paris From Love, or whatever it's called. To Paris With Love? I can't think of it, but anyway, I'm watching that, and about to light a candle and drinking a really tasty red wine. I really get off on things that make me learn. It's how I started loving Henry Miller and Anais Nin as authors...so many references to stuff that I really should have known but didn't. Same with Woody Allen: I just so much love things and people that make me learn. I get so ... whatever the word is .. but I love this kind of mood...It just feels nice and inspires me and makes me love people. Oh, but my point...so in the movie, they just mentioned a play, apparently called "Miss Julie" that I inputted on a web page here so I can read it , or start reading it when I'm done with the movie. Hopefully, it'll be good. Okay, bye. Enjoy your evening.

Watching "To Rome With Love" by Woody Allen

I just finished watching probably my favorite movie ever, The Purple Rose of Cairo. Now I'm watching To Rome With Love, which I've never seen before. I like this line...leave it to Woody Allen! "There's something attractive about a man sensitive to the agonies of existence"

I was exaggerating

I'm not actually moping all night. I just don't like missing out on going out, but if I really want to, I can go out myself.

one more hour

One more hour before he got home, and we could have avoided that argument. Now I'm stuck moping at home alone all night.

An Exercise To Maybe Do Later

"What is your What?"

GRr! WhEN?!

I don't even know anymore when I can show up to see my special friend! I want to see him; I miss him!

8 hours a day for 3 days; I don't know when, but I watched today

Kitties

THERE'S STILL TIME!

zomg! I just found out that it's National Cookie Day! I need to get a cookie right away!

Mom visit

I hope mom feels better soon. I went over and brought groceries to her today and made her chocolate pudding because she wasn't feeling well. The soup and sleep seemed to help a lot. Plus, I got to light the fireplace and turn on her Christmas tree lights; that was so cozy. I think she'll feel better tomorrow.

My mom is so funny

I went over there today to help her do some stuff, and we ended up going out for lunch instead. She decided that it was more important that she have fun today. Go Mom! Then we had a waitress who was acting really jerky, so after about 4 times of her acting like that, my mom said, "Tough day, hmm?" The waitress was taken aback and got defensive, and said, WHY? My mom said she seemed tense and really down to business. Well, yes, it turns out that the woman's father died recently. Once she told us and we said how sorry we were, she was really nice. It was a great reminder of how much difference a little perspective can make.

Or later maybe...

If we DO go to the usual place, it will be late. I just got done watching the end of Elf, and then Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen. The music was awful, but it was a cute enough movie. The girl from News Room was in it.

Saturday

Breakfast out: done. It had to be done after I had a dream about eating toast. Now I should get at least a modicum of cleaning done. Then probably Whole Foods. Hopefully tonight we'll go out too. Maybe to that place where we go to play pool...maybe I can see_______! We shall see.

Mom and Zoe

Please Do This!

Distributed Computing Project You can join my team, or your own, or just be anonymous. But to be cool and be on my team: just install and choose team number 225661. This helps work toward cures for diseases like Parkinson's, Alzheimer's, and cancer.

Hurray!

I'm going to have spaghetti and meatballs for dinner: one of my favorites. Ordering in; new place, so not as good as homemade, but hey, that's a-ok! And I may open up the red wine to have with it!

Hmm

I sent a text message to someone saying hello and didn't get a response. Perhaps his phone is off or something. I hope he's okay; I miss him.

Uh oh

The bigger concern is the fact that I have not yet gotten Noah and Zoe Hannukkah gifts. This is the only Thanksgivukkah in hundreds of years, and I don't have gifts. Ugh. What do I do??

My style according to some dumb test

Home Goods Stylescope

Thursday

I better decide pretty quickly what I'm going to bring to my brother's on Thanksgiving. I'll either buy wine and bring that, or I'll make banana bread, or I'll make pumpkin pie. But I don't think I'll make pie because I think my mom's going to buy one. If there's one thing that's going to get brought by more than one person, it's a pumpkin pie, right? So, either wine or bread. Banana bread doesn't seem to 'go' with Thanksgiving stuff, but there's a bunch of stale bananas just sitting around. Hmm...

Maybe I should be playing shoot-em-up games instead of Scrabble and Words With Friends..

Interesting Article

I'm SO COLD

The snow is pretty, but I can't warm up!

Birthday Lunch!

I'm having lunch with Dad and Pat tomorrow; I hope I can find the place okay...in Arlington Heights. It will be nice to see them.

Oh my gosh, really?!

So, I just got home from seeing Jenny, and she called me! She apologized for having nothing to say; she knows I don't like talking on the phone much. It was nice that she apologized for selling our play tickets.

Not the expected plans, but still plans

Jenny and I were supposed to go see Hello, Dolly as her gift to me for my belated birthday. BUT she panicked when she hadn't heard from me, and thought I had forgotten, so she sold the tickets to her co-worker. She was none too happy with me, and vice-versa, but we went to Bakers Square and ironed it out. I'm just supposed to try to call her at least once a week. I really don't like feeling like it's an obligation, but whatever, I'll give it a try...again. When she saw my hair cut, she said, "What did you do to your head?" Nice. She prefers long hair. I hope people like it though; I like it. I just hope it doesn't make me look old.

My Haircut--another picture 11-21-13

My haircut 11-21-13

Hair cut

I went to a new place, courtesy of my sister in law Jill. Almost half the price that's charged where I usually go, but you don't get coffee or a scalp massage. Still, I like it. The bangs are going to drive me nuts though; she went way shorter than I expected; they're still a long bang, but I can't really tuck behind my ear. It's weird that such a cheap place is in Wilmette. I think she had some sort of hair washing fetish; I swear she washed my hair for a good ten minutes. That's what it felt like. She was really nice though and did a great job. I liked the experience.

Nicole: Use This!

Calorie Counter

Sorry...

I DON'T LIKE FAMILY GUY. There, I said it. Not like it's never funny; sometimes it's really funny, but it's SO insufferable a lot of the time. My favorite is when Brian acts like a dog.

Pumpkin Lattes

The best pumpkin latte so far is from Ipsento on Western. They're open until 9 p.m. (8 on Sun)

grumble!

It's been too long since I've seen someone!

and the birthday goes on!

Today I finally saw my mom for my belated birthday celebration. I still have to see my Dad and Pat, and my brother and family.. It was fun: we did some writing, ate egg mcmuffins, went shopping, and shared a salad, and she served me pumpkin pie with candles and the fireplace lit. She got me a shirt and a sweater too. It was fun visiting with each other for a few hours.

Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind (11-2013)

Another Picture from Hostel (with Boris from Zurich)

It's such a cozy day!

It was nice to be outside for a few minutes, but it's really nice to be in; it's so windy! It's relaxing.

IT'S RAINING, AND IT'S POURING!

No ones snoring, but that's okay. YAY!

Home Brews

We're going to a party tonight of someone who brews his own beer; they're always really good, so it should be fun! Then afterward, who knows, maybe pool somewhere??

Well, look at the time!

I am surprised that I am still awake given that I only had three drinks all night! That's good company for you. It was so fun having Louis in town; too bad this was his last night. It was a great time!

Louis and Me at his Hostel 11-13

Fun!

I forgot how fun it is to hang out with people from hostels. Louis and I went out for coffee, visited Bruce at work, and then went to his hostel. We hung out with this guy from Manchester, England, I think, but who lives in Spain. Then we went on an outing with several people for a flight of beer for $5, then bowling for I think another $5, and then saw live jazz at another bar. Bowling was fun. I was the highest scorer on our team for one of the games with an earth-shattering 95 points! Pretty horrible team! But it was still fun. One from Spain, one from Newfoundland, one from Germany, I think, one from Zurich, Switzerland. I liked the live jazz. It was all really fun. Tomorrow we're going to Too Much Light Makes the Baby go Blind. I haven't been there in probably ten years. Here's a picture (Louis and I are in the back on the right):

Plans!

It's so nice to know that I have another friend. Louis is on his way; I'm not sure what we're going to do...we each already ate, and it's only 4:30. Hrm. Anyway, I always feel like I'm so low on friends, but some of them just live out of state, and it's so great to get to see them sometimes. YAY!

First step

For this possible job, I get to take a personality test; not the Myers-Briggs, but similar. That should be fun except that they might decide I'm not a match for their company, depending on the results. I guess you can't be nervous about something like that...there's no right or wrong. I'm not going to second-guess the actual answers. I'm a little nervous about the math test that I apparently have to take too. It'll have to wait until tonight or tomorrow though because I need to work uninterrupted, and right now, I will be interrupted.

Chugging Along

I got a couple call backs about jobs today. That's great! We shall see what happens.

No to everything today

I cancelled all plans for today and have done nothing but sleep, watch tv, and eat chicken noodle soup. Tomorrow I don't have any plans, so by Wednesday, I should be good to go. As it turns out, I have pool league Thursday; I thought I didn't. But I may not be playing, so I may not go; I may see Louis instead. My dad and I need to find another day to get together for my birthday. I threw away the neon cake after eating some of it; the frosting was getting all melty; plus, it was freaky that it dyed my teeth and tongue whenever I ate it. Those neon colors were not natural. It was very sweet, which was nice, and I loved the fun colors.

I'm not feeling well today.

Louis is in town! But I don't feel well! At least he's here all week, so if I don't feel up to it today, it's probably okay. I also have to decide whether or not to postpone tomorrow's birthday outing with my Dad. Hmm... Also, my brother wants me to babysit tomorrow. No to everything? I just don't know.

Neon birthday cake!

I had a nice dinner out with Jenny (too expensive though!), and she got me an awesome birthday cake with neon rainbow colors as the frosting. It makes the plate look like a tye-dyed shirt! Yum! So sweet!

Birthday Dinner

I better hurry up and decide where I want to go! I can't decide, but I need to call and make reservations somewhere.

Stuck in my Head

So ridiculous

Mental health jobs pay pathetically low. The jobs seem really hard, and make a huge difference, but the pay does not reflect that. Sad.

ha!

"This weekend Friday-Sunday we will be having a Prefix menu"

I like this silly song

Stupid Day Light Savings Time

It feels like it's 11:30 at night! ugh!

Pumpkin Lattes

First: Endgrain; second: Caribou; third: Starbucks.

Honor Societies

What's the point of graduating in two honor societies if you forget to use their job boards?! Luckily, I just remembered; we'll see if anything comes of it.

Time Flies!

Friday is my birthday! I'm not sure what I'll be doing yet.

TV

You know what drives me nuts? When watching talk shows or shows with interviews like Letterman, Conan, or Charlie Rose, watching the guest repeatedly grab the cup of coffee to drink but never take a sip. It happens a lot.

Who will play with me?!

Scrabble FAQs 30-35 points per turn is a goal now. That's hard though.

I applied for a job at my bank

They should hire me because I bank there. It was a book of an application; ugh, I hate that! Just look at my resume!

weird

even though I don't have a job, I still don't like Mondays, and I dread them on Sunday nights just as though I was working.

Blagh!

I've been feeling so ugly lately. I'm not sure what would help; maybe getting my hair done. Maybe I need to work on my self-esteem or something. Or lose some weight; that needs to be done. Yuck.

Oh my, look how early it is!

It was 1:30, and then it was 1:30 again! Tomorrow I'm making apple cobbler with the apples from the orchard. Well, with help, most likely.

Fun at the Apple Orchard today!

Slow Day

I don't really have anything to say. I'm just going to have a quiet night at home tonight. How about you, dear imaginary readers?? If someone reads this, I wonder if I seem really, really lame. I hope not, but I probably do.

Uneventful night

I won just barely. There were about three people dressed up for Halloween. The kids' costumes I saw in the neighborhood were LAME.

Happy Halloween!

Get more treats than tricks!!

My only Halloween picture

This is kind of vague

" People with lived experiences encouraged to apply."

Mondays

I kind of miss playing pool on Monday nights. It broke up the week kind of nicely. Plus, it was nice to see cool people on a regular basis.

CariBOO!

I'm going to go to Caribou for a pumpkin latte! I like theirs better than Starbucks', and Starbucks sucks anyway. Not that I don't also go there. But this one is spicier. We're supposed to play pool this Thursday, which is Halloween, that seems strange. There better be treats!

Oh my gosh, I'm horrible

I'm laughing because I was just a little sick of talking on the phone, and so I saw that it was 4:28, so I said (convincingly!) "oh my gosh! It's 4:30! I have to go! I'll talk to you later!"

C-L-E-A-N

Ahhh, I FINALLY showered! It was one of those really nice, super hot showers too. Hurray! You're welcome, world!

WATCH GIRLS ONLINE STREAMING!

Doesn't that sound like porn? But it's not. I have been wanting to watch the HBO series "Girls" but always forgot, but then I learned about CouchTuner.com that has free tv episodes. Anyway, so I clicked on "Girls", and that's what it says across the top. hehe. I haven't started watching yet though because I have to finish Breaking Bad first. I'm in the second 5th season now. I can also watch the first episode of "Family Tree" that I missed.

Good grief

I really need to shower. It actually kept me from seeing my mom today! I was too embarrassed about the state of my hair. Either later tonight or tomorrow, and THEN I'll call my mom. She has mums for me!

No more!

I'm sick of pictures of people holding up signs

YAY!

I won tonight 4-0 against a 2. Twos are the scariest for me, so I was proud of myself for winning. The team won 14-0. We only missed one point for every single game--not just match. It was my last day of nannying for Noah and Zoe....for now. Noah gave me two big hugs as a result. One he has coined the "Noah Constrictor." He's so charming! And Zoe had a play date with a friend, and they put make-up on each other. She gave me a hug when I left too, but under duress...I could tell. She's less demonstrative with hugs and stuff.

argh

I was hoping we were playing at home tomorrow, and I'd at least have a chance of seeing someone who I miss. but noooo, we're playing elsewhere. It's been too long. Grrr.

Yup!

This is pretty much me tonight.



Study: Average Person Becomes Unhinged Psychotic When Alone In Own House

Hi, I"m bored.

YAY

My friend Louis is coming to Chicago in November!

pllllth!

I'll probably go back to a 3 handicap in pool.  I've lost like the last 3 weeks in a row now!  I miss the old team, and I miss the Monday team.  I'm tired.  I should go to bed soon.

Article About Playing Music

Here

Breaking Bad

About to start season five.  Oh, the drama!
I'm making money babysitting this week and possibly next week.
Still haven't heard about that other job though.

what a lame trivia night

I hardly got any answers.  It was stupid trivia though; something about the questions was just...off.  They weren't normal trivia questions.  I just say that because I didn't know them.  I knew some.  No world capitals came up, and I studied that really quickly beforehand.  Portugal?  Lisbon.  BAM!  It's been an odd food weekend; half vegetarian, half steak and bacon.   I'll get back to vegetarian tomorrow.  It smells like burning wood outside; that's one of probably my top five favorite smells:  along with leather, grilling, bread baking, and rain.

Trivia Night

I better do some quick cramming on world capitals or country music lyrics or something...

Oops!!

How'd it get to be 4 in the morning?!

Article About Kissing

http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2013/10/11/231458850/what-humans-can-learn-from-a-simple-kiss?utm_content=socialflow&utm_campaign=nprfacebook&utm_source=npr&utm_medium=facebook

booooooo

I stink.  Two weeks in a row.

Lunch with Eric

Hurray!  at noon o clock.  As of now, I have insomnia though.

Happy Birthday, Noah!

I hope he had a nice birthday and enjoys his party.  I will see them three times next week.  Hurray!

urgh

damn young, hip companies...
This job application wants me to describe within 150 words what makes me unique:  try to be creative.

UGH!  I have no idea what to say.  I have to actually think?!

ugh!

There's a big part of me that really hates poetry.   I'd say I dislike about 90 percent of it.  Maybe that's an exaggeration:  there is some of it that I like, but it's few and far between.

Okay, okay, FINE.

I'm finally watching Breaking Bad.  I'm in the middle of Season Two now, or maybe toward the end of the season. It's really good; I'm enjoying it, although it's driving me nuts how close they are to catching "Heisenberg" and yet they haven't.  That's gotta be really, really soon.  That and his lying to his wife; that's driving me nuts too; it can't go on forever.  I know it doesn't, but WHEN???!  I shouldn't have cheated and watched a few episodes of the last season before having watched the rest of the series because I know certain things, but not that much, so it's okay.

A miserable loss at pool

I played horribly.  That's all I have to report.  Oh, and I have the hiccups from eating too much wasabi with my sushi.  You're welcome.  You needed that information; you really did.

mm nope

Tomorrow is pool, but not at 'home.' That means there will be no chance of seeing a special someone.  Darn!

Wake up Early!

Breakfast with Dad, Eric and the kids, and then go to Eric's in the afternoon to babysit.  Give Zoe her gift for her belated birthday.  I hope she likes it!

Holding on to hope

The last job I interviewed for has not yet made a decision.  That's good; I want that job.  Wish me luck!

Pictures from Yom Kippur, 2013

Tivo, Here I Come!

The Hollow Crown

My opinion:

You know that someone is computer-illiterate when you tell them to type in a url or go to a website, and they type it into a Yahoo search.

Man, I'm hungry!

I think it's been about 10 days that I've been eating pescatarian (mostly vegetarian, but I think I might have had some fish??), and the problem is when I get really hungry I can't just go anywhere or eat anything.  It was especially hard last night at pool when all these people were ordering pizzas and burgers and stuff from across the street.  There are not really groceries on hand, so I've been having leftover pasta, tonight I'm going to have mac and cheese; one night I had a sweet potato.  You get the idea.  I don't have the guts to weigh myself and see if it's made a difference yet.  Maybe in a few more days.  I'm really just doing it for the novelty of it though because I don't think meat is what has put on poundage.  Tomorrow I'm going to mom's.  Tonight I saw Jenny.  I should call my dad and see if he wants to have breakfast Sunday; he's probably busy, but I should try.  Okay, bye!

Argh!

I can't stand talking on the phone!  It's been almost an hour! 

Happy Constitution Day!

Yom Kippur

I had a delightful Yom Kippur at my brother's and sis in law's tonight.  I stuffed my face without even having fasted or atoning for any sins!  Kugel and blintzes and frittata and lox and bagels and tuna salad and egg salad and several desserts and coffee!!!  And such a great group of people!

I just made this up. Does it stink?

A poem is a puzzle

only some may solve.

Its meaning

may be different—

depending

on experience.

Amateur cryptographers

try to crack the code;

puzzle maker chuckles

like a cruciverbalist.

What a nice surprise!

I had fun last night.

I wrote this poem a bunch of years ago

Oh, Brother

Meta Latvian,

other night in a bar.

Tapas – not top o’ the line.

He asked why I do not love

the US of A,

            as he does.

Mother Earth then

Mother Russia then

Father Time and

Mother Load

of bullshit:

Monster truck, NASCAR,

trailer park

trash clash

of the

            Flash Taco

titans.

            Bush-whacked,

Paddywhacked,

Give the dog an ice cream cone;

I want to bring a young boy home.

A Poem I Wrote A Few Years Ago

(either I lost part of it, or it just ends strangely).  I think I need to rewrite the end or continue it.  Also, I think I didn't really punctuate on purpose, but now, I think that's bothering me.  I definitely need to work more on this.  The last line makes no sense.  Nevertheless, I kind of like the part that I wrote.  Here it is:

Blank Page

            confrontational white rectangle

punches me in the face

as I caress it with ruminating paws

while dependent clause punctuates

my lack of knowing

where my road is going

thread weaving it altogether frays

they’re filling their spaces at manic paces

A poem I wrote a bunch of years ago

Mein Mind

Extinguish my anger,

detoxify mind.

Cruise city streets,

to get out of a jam.

Raspberry juice

stains your porcelain hands.

Only you don’t see

the mess you’ve made

of yourself.

Rockababy myself to calm state

highways could take me

to Kalamazoo.

Save it.

For a rainy day, sleeping man, to cushion his head

before he wakes the next day to toast yesterday’s jam and tomorrow’s butter.

Rethinking

Now I don't like Kirstenography as much as I used to.  It is still interesting, but I don't know.  Also, you can't read it aloud; I was wrong.  You have to just read it and hope the correct words seem obvious.  For the most part they do (now).

Aubade is a great poem, and I do like it, but it's awfully dark!

My favorite poem, so far

I know I've posted this before, but I like it, and I'm posting poems now.

Aubade

Aubade

By Philip Larkin 1922–1985 Philip Larkin

 

"I work all day, and get half-drunk at night.   

Waking at four to soundless dark, I stare.   

In time the curtain-edges will grow light.   

Till then I see what’s really always there:   

Unresting death, a whole day nearer now,   

Making all thought impossible but how   

And where and when I shall myself die.   

Arid interrogation: yet the dread

Of dying, and being dead,

Flashes afresh to hold and horrify.

The mind blanks at the glare. Not in remorse   

—The good not done, the love not given, time   

Torn off unused—nor wretchedly because   

An only life can take so long to climb

Clear of its wrong beginnings, and may never;   

But at the total emptiness for ever,

The sure extinction that we travel to

And shall be lost in always. Not to be here,   

Not to be anywhere,

And soon; nothing more terrible, nothing more true.

This is a special way of being afraid

No trick dispels. Religion used to try,

That vast moth-eaten musical brocade

Created to pretend we never die,

And specious stuff that says No rational being

Can fear a thing it will not feel, not seeing

That this is what we fear—no sight, no sound,   

No touch or taste or smell, nothing to think with,   

Nothing to love or link with,

The anaesthetic from which none come round.

And so it stays just on the edge of vision,   

A small unfocused blur, a standing chill   

That slows each impulse down to indecision.   

Most things may never happen: this one will,   

And realisation of it rages out

In furnace-fear when we are caught without   

People or drink. Courage is no good:

It means not scaring others. Being brave   

Lets no one off the grave.

Death is no different whined at than withstood.

Slowly light strengthens, and the room takes shape.   

It stands plain as a wardrobe, what we know,   

Have always known, know that we can’t escape,   

Yet can’t accept. One side will have to go.

Meanwhile telephones crouch, getting ready to ring   

In locked-up offices, and all the uncaring

Intricate rented world begins to rouse.

The sky is white as clay, with no sun.

Work has to be done.

Postmen like doctors go from house to house."

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Another favorite poem

I don't know if this is quite a favorite, but it's interesting.  It's all words that sound like the words that are meant.  (for example:  remember, instead of December.  You almost have to read it aloud.  The first sentence is supposed to be "Kay was born at the end of the year in the month of December.")

Kirstenography


K was burn at the bend of the ear in the mouth of remember. She 
was the fecund chill burn in her famish. She came into the word 
with a putty smoother, a handsewn farther, and a yodeler cistern. 
They were all to gather in a rosy horse on a piety sweet in Alligator Panorama.

When her smoother and farther wrought her chrome from the 
hose spittle, her cistern fought the piddle ably was a girly heeded 
bawl. A bawl that dank silk, booed, burgled, rabbled, fried, and 
tweed in wipers. This was not a bawl that swept in the joy blocks 
with her rather joys. This was a giving bawl that wasn't a joy like 
fluffed fan mail. Oh no! This was her grand blue piddle cistern that 
cold knot talc for a song time, but lonely fried and braid rather 
voices that the yodeler one cold knot rubberband.

It shook a few ears until the cold talc to gather, tall yolks, 
shear sacreds, heave a conversion or a dish cushion. That was 
laughter they kissed their handsewn farther who wind sway to 
Cheap Cargo, Ill Annoy. Mum and gulls made their mauve to 
Foreword Text. As swoon as they cold they boasted fetters in the 
snail to him and he relied as mulch as he cold.

Their inelegant smoother was a reacher who muddied lard, 
learned debris, and wept them upon the prosper pat. Reaching them 
fright from strong was her per rental doodly. They threw up and 
wind soft to mercy rule and hinder guardian, then on to 
sedimentary, fecund dairy, and slide rule. They were wood in all 
those paces, and waded to knowledge at Cutie Ostentatious. 

The smoother and her dodders all learned debris to gather. 
Evidentially, two quirked as proofs in the loony varsity. K was 
quirking for the slate of Taxes Hysterical Remission. Laughter a 
schmaltz fart with a wanky lurk, K fond her Sanity. A proof of 
reckoned comics. K quirked to learn her nastier debris and later she 
rave burps and becalmed herself a smoother.

Now she does her writhing ghostly a tome. Quirks at the muse, 
um, that's in Chapped Apple Milling Sea. Enduring, she has her 
sanity and they becalmed the prod parentheses of Adenoid and 
Williwaw. They all loved shapely over laughter.


Harryette Mullen

Another one of my favorite poems: by Jack Spicer

"Thing Language"
by Jack Spicer

This ocean, humiliating in its disguises
Tougher than anything.
No one listens to poetry. The ocean
Does not mean to be listened to. A drop
Or crash of water. It means
Nothing.
It
Is bread and butter
Pepper and salt. The death
That young men hope for. Aimlessly
It pounds the shore. White and aimless signals. No
One listens to poetry.

Three of my favorite poems, all by Li-Young Lee

Go to this link.  Here is one of them:

Early in the Morning

While the long grain is softening
in the water, gurgling
over a low stove flame, before
the salted Winter Vegetable is sliced
for breakfast, before the birds,
my mother glides an ivory comb
through her hair, heavy
and black as calligrapher's ink.

She sits at the foot of the bed.
My father watches, listens for
the music of comb
against hair.

My mother combs,
pulls her hair back
tight, rolls it
around two fingers, pins it
in a bun to the back of her head.
For half a hundred years she has done this.
My father likes to see it like this.
He says it is kempt.

But I know
it is because of the way
my mother's hair falls
when he pulls the pins out.
Easily, like the curtains
when they untie them in the evening.

Oy

So I watched the Charlie Rose interview with Assad.  So frustrating.  Gosh, if you believed what you heard, you'd believe that he's just a good guy doing what his people want him to do.  And the U.S.' accusations are completely unfounded, and bla bla bla.  ugh.  You really have to know your facts in order to question the stuff he's saying.  And I don't feel confident with my facts, especially after listening to that.  Rose looked like he wanted to wring his neck a couple times.

I think now Charlie Rose should interview a member of the Free Syrian Army.  I would like to hear from the other side.

pool

I haven't heard anything about pool team.  I wonder if I will.  I don't think there was enough interest, and I think I would have heard by tonight, but you never know; it could be sometime this week if there is interest.

I got asked to be on two other teams for Wednesdays, but I said no.   Maybe it's because of my current 89% success.  It won't last; people should know!

It better be at 11 p.m.

I didn't see a Charlie Rose on at 8 p.m., and all the ones I have recorded are from last week.  There is an upcoming show to be recorded at 11 p.m.  That better be the one I want to watch with Al-Assad.

I'm confused

from Reuters:  "Chinese state media said on Monday Obama's "all-guns-blazing campaign to lobby" for armed intervention did not hold up and that a military strike on Syria would be a violation of international law."

Is it really a violation of international law?  

On Charlie Rose tomorrow

Today Charlie Rose interviewed Bashar Al Assad.  It will air on PBS tomorrow night at 8, I think.  Just check your listings.  I'm going to watch.  I wonder if it will be more or less awkward than the interviews in the past with Ahmadinejad.

Meow

MeowWOWWOWWW!

You've probably already read this.

Onion article

Complications

reality is scary
from Reuters

News

Not like I have news, but I've been watching the news.  Well, not so much 'the news' as CSPAN.  Between watching CSPAN during the day and getting tweets from news organizations, I feel much more in the know.  Twitter can be so stupid, but it can be pretty helpful too.  Pretty much all I 'follow' are things like Associated Press, Charlie Rose, The New Yorker, Brookings Institute...etc.  That way I don't really get stupid posts.  Same is true for Facebook, only there, I still get some stupid posts, but I have to search a little for them.  That's good. 

I haven't heard about my job interview yet.  They said they hoped to fill the position "in a week or two."  I interviewed two weeks ago.  I emailed the two people who interviewed me, and I left a voicemail for the guy in H.R.  I really hope I get it.

the NSA...

ACLU article

I agree with this article.  When it comes to fighting terrorism, I am unsure of what side I'm on.  It's definitely a difficult issue when you trust the President, and you also trust the ACLU, and they're at odds.  But as far as the issue in this article, the ACLU is right on.

Summer pool season is over

We came in first.  I turned into a 4.  My win percentage is at 89%.  I'm not sure how all that happened.  I'm not sure what's happening in terms of pool team(s) for fall.  Well, I know that some members of this team are planning on still playing in the fall, but I'm not sure if I want to play full time on that team; I'd rather play on other team, but I'm not sure what is going on with that.

Also, do you ever have a cough that won't stop, AND the hiccups?  It's really annoying.
Let me tell you about it in a haiku:

Drinking warm coffee
gave me hiccups and a cough
Instant congestion.

Lay Burr Day

I had a delightful day at my mom's.  We went to California Pizza Kitchen for 1/2 salads,  hung out and chatted, and then went swimming.

Tomorrow!

Oddball Festival

Nerves

With every day that goes by since my interview, I get more nervous.  I hope I get that job.

Foreign Affairs Report: Syria in Crisis

Foreign Affairs Report: Syria in Crisis: p/p
!--break--

Well, Dad looks good anyway

Gotta Get Going

I'm having breakfast with Dad and Pat. 

I'm still behind on episodes of the NewsRoom.

"Snark is the idiot's version of wit, and we're being polluted by it." -- Will McAvoy.  The Newsroom.

I'm bored.

I was too lazy today, and now it's only 8:14, and I'm bored.  Hmm.  I don't really want to watch tv, but maybe I'll see if there's a movie on or something.  Sharing is caring.

Happy Lazy Sunday!

Enjoy your day!  I'm enjoying mine even though I'm not doing anything but watching dumb tv.

It was a fun day!

Mom and I went to an art fair in Highland Park, ate hot dogs and gelato, saw a matinee of The Butler, went swimming, and had dinner at Winberries.  Mom said I look better in a swimsuit than in my clothes.  I"m not sure how I should take that.  She is queen of the back-handed compliments (said something about my looking better than I have in a while too).  Anyway, it was a good summer day.

wish me luck

I had an interview yesterday; I took the Excel test they requested.  Now I wait...

Hurray!

Interview Thursday.

mmmm frozen mojitos

mojitos are my favorite drink.  I had never had a frozen version, but it's like a mojito slushie.  It's the fresh mint that makes it so good.  I had a fun weekend.  Yesterday we went to Arlington Race Track and to Jazz Showcase, and today we went to play pool.  Friday I saw Kick Ass II -- don't waste your money (my opinion).  It's so weird that I'm not working, but I still totally look forward to the weekend; I think it's like permission for not working.  The rest of the week I spend feeling guilty.  Every bar should make mojitos:  you just need fresh mint.  How hard is that?  If you're reading this, have a good week!

Hi!

I don't have much to say except that I've noticed a new pet peeve:  I don't want to hear people use the word "sexy" anymore.  People use "sexy" to describe everything except things that are sexy, and that's just really annoying me.  For example:  Food is not sexy.  Okay, bye.

wiiiiiiiiide awake!

oh dear, my schedule is so screwed up.  I get to call about a job tomorrow.

Love's Labour's Lost

Okay, I think I said weeks ago that I was going to start reading this.  Apparently, I do better reading Shakespeare out of a book than online.  I've made more progress in the last five minutes than in however many weeks.  Also, I can't watch tv because SOMEONE is playing Skyrim.  Whatevs.

WHY am I still awake?

I'm hungry, but there's nothing to eat, which means I should just go to bed.   Good night.

Where tonight?

so, yes to drinks; the question is:  where?

"The Legal Rationale for Surveillance"

for your review

Bad daughter

I accidentally blew off my mom today.  I feel bad; I hope she's not upset with me.

I'm so tired.

Good night. Thinking of....

The dumdum award

And...the winner for most vague-sounding job title is:
CONSULTANT LIAISON

Guilt Stinks

I don't know why I didn't wash all the dishes.  I just didn't.  No excuses, and I feel so guilty.  ugh!  At least I cried:  it had been months, and I was wondering if I still could.  So there's that...

Eric and Noah!

No puedo dormir

I am guessing it's because I woke up a mere 12.5 hours ago.

so, I'm a few episodes behind, but...

"Are you prepared to talk about your Republicanism?"
"You say that like I've got Polio."

hee hee hee.  from The News Room.  or Newsroom.  or The Newsroom.  whatever.

memory

I wish I had a photographic memory so that when I thought back on conversations, I knew what people actually said.  I remember the gist (which I always spell wrong with a j) of what people say, but I never trust myself with what I remember.  I suppose I think back too often; I should be more 'in the now,' but screw that.

Forget the pancakes

I got Pita Inn for dinner!
and...you're welcome.  I know you were just dying to know what I've been doing today.  Thank goodness for my fascinating blog.  I should start posting articles again or write a poem, or something...

Almost all-consuming

I want pancakes!!!  NOW!!!

Lazy Sunday

I woke up an hour ago!   I will probably just see if anything's on tv.  Maybe I'll eat some toast.  Gotta make coffee.

why am I achy?

I went out for dinner with Jenny, and now I'm just daydreaming.  That's a pretty good day.  It's just not very eventful. 

oops

I just read my posts, and...I've been talking about this shit all week!  Time to move on and just act.  Fuck.

Okay, I"m giving up til Monday

This is pathetic; I've been totally obsessive or compulsive (not sure which; maybe both) about the damn plumber.  Time to let it go.  I need to figure out when I'm going to eat, cash checks, go out by myself, and so on (well, really, that's it).

ARGH!

and the plumber isn't responding to my multiple messages!  I know I"m being annoying, but on the third and final message, I wrote, "Please advise"...isn't that universal 'call me the fuck back now' language??!  I'm pretty sure it's late enough I'm not going to hear back from him until Monday even though the water is running non-stop.  I'd hate to leave on the off chance that he could still come though.   But I think I'm being unrealistic.  BLURG!!

Flake!!

The plumber has not shown up; I have stayed home all day.  Originally, he said he was only available Friday, so I wrote back, okay, Friday.  Then he left me a voicemail Wednesday saying that he was outside, but I wasn't here.  So then I wrote back again saying  Friday.  I never heard anything, and he still hasn't shown up.  Not to mention that last time he was here he screwed up the hot water faucet so that it turns the opposite way to turn on/off.  Irritating!!!

I am feeling a little unsure about whether or not to go to a certain place tonight.  I kind of want to because I've been in all day, but....I'm feeling a little unsure.  I'll probably go.  I need to deposit a couple checks anyway.

Oh well.

We won tonight, and my iPod is working again.  Soon, I will eat ice cream.  Wow, so boring.  Why am I writing this?  I must be lonely.  I wish I had a cat.  I wonder what time the plumber is coming tomorrow, or if he'll flake out.  I have to decide whether or not to go out tomorrow night.  I was all enthused about going out tonight; I'm not sure if I will be tomorrow.  We'll see.

Mom!

I love my mom's reactions sometimes.  I saw her today and asked at one point if my braid was okay.  She said something like, 'oh, if it wasn't, I'd stick my tongue out!'   haha who says stuff like that?  HER!

playing at home tonight

I hope someone I like a lot happens to show up.

Rainy night, omg, bla bla bla

Annoying day; relaxing evening.
Tomorrow:  hanging out with Mom, and then pool. 
Friday:  the plumber may or may not show up.  Pretty sure about going out for awhile.

noooooo

If you're trying to give your friend a pep talk to show up and help you move at 5:30 a.m., don't mention that you should be done around 3 p.m.  Just don't say anything.  I was thinking no later than noon.  Denial is a happier place.  Grr.

morning's going to be rough

I have to be at Jen's at 7 a.m. to help with the move (just stay at new place to oversee movers, I guess).  At least that is the last day that  I am committed to helping.  Then she'll probably want help at new place, but I'm not thinking about that now.  Hopefully, it won't take too long, and I'll have the rest of the day free.

so nice

Ahhh, omg it feels so good to get home tonight.  I felt all shaky there; something just rubbed me wrong.  It's just really nice to let my hair down, change into a big tshirt and chill.  I think I'll watch either Treehouse Masters or Newsroom (it might be too late to watch Newsroom; I have to listen with the volume really really loud for some reason for that show).  Then later...blueberry cheesecake and coffee, since I don't have plans tomorrow like I thought I might.

No Spaz Tonight

peace and quiet.

Not my first choice for today, but...

I'm helping Jenny pack in a little while; I wonder why I haven't left yet.  Oh yeah, procrastination.  I'll just think about last night.

Fun

I had such a good time!

A charmer!

Noah today said thank you and "we never thanked you for taking care of us."  so cute.  I think tomorrow is my last day; unless something else changes.  We're going to see Mom...should be fun.

oh yeah

Zoe was trying to say that she'd never heard of Happy Tree Friends, and Noah said, "yes you have.   You're winking at me!"  busted.

and Eric said that at a parent/teacher conference, the teacher asked Jill and him, "so, which of you is sarcastic?"  (the kids are very sarcastic; kind of funny)

Back on my good list

Last week I got a little hurt because Noah had said that he missed his usual nanny...I'm fun, but she knows them better.  Well, today Noah told me that they will really miss me after today.  Sweet.  :)
Also, I remember doing projects when I was little too, but seeing an 8-year old girl hammering nails is a little disconcerting.  I was so worried she'd bang her finger, but nope; she's good!

gooooood NIGHT!

It is way past my bedtime.  No more ice cream.  Bed...  Or else I'll be sorry in the morning.

Was I saying something about losing weight??

Dairy Queen for the second night in a row.  Tonight it's French Silk Pie Blizzard.  I had a carrot thought:  does that help?!

lazy potato

It looks like it's going to be a night of just watching television.  I tried to eat dinner outside, but a stupid bee ruined that.  I should have been outside more today; it's been so pretty outside lately.

557

I just scored 557 in a game of Words With Friends.  In your face!!  That's my best game so far.

lazy day

but I got a banana cream pie blizzard.  Yum.

oooOOOooo

I won again!  It's still not the same as the told team -- it doesn't quite feel right -- but it's still nice to be doing well.

Nicole vs. Donut

This lifestyle would suit me

I would like to live at my brother's if it was my house and my stuff.  I eat healthier,  I get a good walk to the train, and I drive a red Mini convertible.  I would lose weight in no time!  And have fun!

Clover is Dumb

I am mad at dumb Clover for hissing at me the last two times I have seen him.  I don't know if it's because I was using the paper shredder, or because I was going right up to him as though to pet him.  High maintenance cats are frustrating.

Day dream

I fell asleep and had a dream that I was wearing one of my brother's sweatshirts that had holes all over it, and I was showing them to Bill Maher.  I wonder what THAT means??

Speed-Words-With-Friends

I'm playing a game with someone I know, (that's an added bonus), and we're playing every turn within about three minutes of the other's turn. AND we're within ten points of each other! Fun!

Grrrrooveshark

Dumb grooveshark won't let me log into my account anymore. Without that, I can't add songs to my playlists anymore. I think it probably has to do with this oooold computer I use. I can't update anything.

I'll Take It!

I lost two pounds since last week. That pleases me. It's not much, but still! Now just about a gazillion more to go. It's easier while I'm working, but that's going to end in about a week and a half. Then it's going to be really difficult not to gain again. Maybe I will go back on last year's vegan diet for a while. That worked. Then again, maybe I won't. We'll see.

Ooooooh, baby!

I drove my brother's Mini today and put the top down. That was so fun! I think I need a convertible of my own. Why anyone with a convertible would ever drive with the top up on a nice day is beyond me. Oh, and Zoe told me that I'm the best aunt ever. So, it was a good day!

Saturday

I can't decide if I'm happy or bored that there is nothing to do today.

pooL

I won 2-0. You're welcome.

Argh, Temptation!

Now that I have a modicum of income, do you KNOW how hard it is to not just spend $75 on a pair of totally cute sandals?!!!!

TIL

Apparently, you can't hang out with an eight-year old girl without hearing an entire Taylor Swift album.

Oh dear

I drank a little too much wine tonight. VERY late dinner!

hurray!

Finally! Air-conditioning!

pool

Yesterday I played pool; today I played AT the pool. It was a little chilly though.

Nanny McMe

As a result of nanny gig, I'm seeing entirely too much of Andersonville. And I like Andersonville. Wednesday we're going to the swimming pool after they get out of camp. Then my mom's coming over for dinner. Cool! (That means I don't have to cook dinner for the kids, which consists of chicken nuggets, pasta, and pizza. It's horrible, but that's all they like that I have found so far). The funny thing is Zoe, at 8, says, "for instance" a lot. Noah's into comic books; comic book stores are so boring. I guess I"m not geeky enough. :)

Happy Father's Day: I love my Dad!

You'll fucking love it

here

sigh

that felt like a really long day. I am going to relax for about 15-30 minutes and then happily go to bed. Good night.

spaz

the spaz is apparently going to play on the team "but not every week." I don't know how I feel about this team; skeptical, I guess.

Chill

I do so much better with information. I got a message that slipped through the cracks yesterday saying that one of the people from the team will not be on anymore, AND when I wrote saying something like sorry to hear that, is everything okay, I got a response explaining why (not specifics, but in general.) So now I feel a little sheepish for having been a little irritated. People have their own lives, and I need to be understanding. But without information, my mind goes crazy with why and what if, and and ... So I'm keeping in mind that the other person who is off the team has his/her own life too, and I shouldn't let my mind try to fill in the blanks. Just let things be. And don't be hurt or offended or rejected that you didn't get a response to every damn message you wrote. People have their reasons.

team?

We'll have new players, but why are the old players suddenly not interested? Is it because of who is staying on the team? Have I done something wrong? I will miss the original players. I don't know more because I have not gotten responses.

No Subject

This was my first day being nanny for Noah and Zoe. It went fine, although I'm a bit tired. Zoe apparently spends about 60% of her time bored. She already requested that we go to the beach tomorrow. Yuck. Stupid beach. Maybe it'll be fun. I was the hero for folding a whole bunch of laundry while I was there. I kind of like folding laundry; it's nothing like washing dishes, which I loathe. The electricity went out for about an hour tonight in the whole neighborhood. It's creepy when everything is pitch black, but we went for a walk and played a game of chess by lantern light. I lost, but it was still fun. Next time I'll try to hold onto my knights a little longer; I think that was the beginning of the end for me. Of course, we probably won't play again until the next power outage!

Insomnia

Arg. I can't sleep.

Nicole Baking Muffins

nanny

So next week I start being a nanny for my niece and nephew. That's fairly alliterative. My brother text messaged me back which was nice. He wasn't kidding about the plans changing a lot; he's already changed details about three times. I may have to change the ringer on my phone while working with them so that I can actually hear it. I get the feeling there will be more messages! I'm looking forward to it. The thing I'm most nervous about for now is cooking dinner for them -- I'm out of practice. Although I'm sure it's just things like heating up chicken nuggets or pasta...simple.

I guess it's no big deal

There are so many reasons that someone might not respond, and it's probably a little silly for me to always want a response....no big deal.

Urgh!

I can't stand when I send a text message and don't get one in return. It hurts my feelings. I should probably get over that. It's probably not a rejection like I take it; it's probably just lack of something to say in return, or something like that.

MY dad is special!

Stuff they advertise for Father's Day has NOTHING to do with my dad. Does it really have to do with most dads? Sorry my dad isn't obsessed with cars, barbecue, sports, and drinking. Geez.

interview

I had an interview today, and I think it went pretty well. one of the people interviewing me in her office had a big, almost poster-size picture of herself behind her on the wall. It was hard not to look at it.

Baaad Dinner

Just kidding. It was good. We went to Little Goat Diner, and the highlight was the blueberry pie with goat cheese gelato. But yesterday beer was really good too...Solemn Oath Brewery's Oxford Comma. Today I had...I forgot the name of the kind...same brewery though. And I got to play with a really cute dog.

I love a rainy night..

Watching Aliens and listening to thunderstorm means that I'm having fun. The movie's a little stressful though; lots of anticipation.

AND...AND...AND...

I just wrote my mom a dissertation of an email. If it wasn't after ten, I would have just called, but she gets wound up if we talk too late and then can't sleep. On June 10th I start doing nanny duties for niece and nephew. That's some money coming in...hurray!!! AND...I'll get to drive the Mini. Oh yeaaah!

squeeak

That was so fun hanging out and eating chicken wings and talking (listening). I love meeting people's moms. He's so much like her; I could see him a few times in things she said and did. so charming and sweet! She's so cool and nice and down to earth. I hope I made a good impression.

AND there's a thunder storm!

SCORE! I'll have to watch the rest of the movie tomorrow though. It's a little late to be watching at a reasonable volume. I can hardly wait to cuddle into my blanket in bed tonight. Night thunder storms are the best (well, daytime thunderstorms maybe are better; I can't decide.)

Jonesie's okay!

I liked "Alien." Now I just need to finish watching "Aliens."

Alien and Aliens

Okay, I got copies of them, so I am in the middle of watching the first one. I started watching the second one until I realized that it was the second one. Now I'm watching the right one. I have trouble hearing what they're saying.

oops

I feel like correcting my mom when she spells 'oops' "opps" but really don't have the heart. I guess it's not an 'opps' to her anyway.

insomnia and deep thoughts

I was looking at old school papers from first or second grade before bed and then couldn't sleep. I started having all these thoughts about divorce, cleaning, weight, school, job, all these possibly connecting thoughts. I wrote it out in an email to myself so I wouldn't forget. HOpefully, these thoughts/connections will help me in getting my life together. I feel like there is a block keeping me from being where I want to be, and maybe that's part of the block.

yuck

Well, that was unpleasant. Next time someone tries to warn me that there might be too much alcohol in a beer, I'm going to listen. Anyway, I just scarfed down a bunch of chips and guacamole, and that helped, I think. Too bad we lost. What now?

Fine!

I showered. Are you happy now?! You can stop haranguing me. Now it'll be easier to get to my Mom's on time in the morning.