Top Ten Nice Things about 2013 big or small (give or take a couple!)

1. I got to know Noah and Zoe better while being nanny over the summer. 2. Verbal tic is almost completely gone. 3. I got a new cute haircut. 4. I had some really fun weekend outings (apple orchard, Saugatuck, Christmas lights) 5. Spent quality time with Mom. (2014: spend more time with Dad) 6. I got to talk more with Eric as a result of nanny gig over the summer. 7. I think I have 2-3 new people that I would now consider friends (2014: cultivate) 8. I asked about joining a Shakespeare book group (2014: follow up) 9. Communicated via email with Julie Hogan. 10. I bought a pair of jeans in the next size up rather than denying; they actually feel comfortable. 11. I worked on ways to feel better about being home all day not having a job. (2014: work on reframing about job and other things)

How I'm Spending My Evening:

Learning about hypocretin
Learning about Scrabble strategy
Learning about the brain
Listening to some music to see if it's worth saving

ugh

wow what an incredibly lazy day this is.

YAY!!

It was so nice to see him!

Nicole, try to remember this word

I like this word: abstemious: sparing; characterized by abstinence

I Do this to an Extent...

Stress and Sleep

Christmas 2013

Zoe made the holiday card: I love that Eric's head is cut off. That reminds me of when I used to take pictures of people when I was little. It's nice that Irene (Jill's mom) and David (Jill's Dad) are included. Too bad Dad and Pat weren't in it.

Merry Christmas!

Did you have a nice Christmas Eve? I did; back tomorrow morning.

Holiday Spirit

I gave money to Unicef in my brother's and sister-in-law's names for their Christmas/Hanukkah gifts (plus a cd each), and I just signed up to probably start volunteering again. Yesterday I went with my mom to donate some food that they were going to serve for dinner last night too. It feels good. I forgot how grateful and kind people in shelters are; so friendly!

HO HO HO

All my gifts are wrapped. I still need to buy gifts for Dad and Pat, but I don't know when we're celebrating yet. I wrapped a few cds and will let people decide which ones they want. I think that's the best way. I should probably shower tonight, but I may wait until tomorrow. I'm Feeling lazy.

judgment?

Is it tacky, or just too old-fashioned, to give used cds for Christmas/Hanukkah? I'm pretty broke, so that's what I'm doing. I just hope it's okay, and not shitty. I wish I'd get responses here, but maybe just typing it out will help???

It's too damn cold!

WHY is it so cold outside? I can't function when I'm outside. I needed to go look for a stocking stuffer each for my brother and Jill, but it was too cold, and I went home after the errand I had to do. Maybe I'll feel like trying again later in proper winter bundled-up clothes. Then again, it's warm in here....

Christmas Spirit

I went out with Mom for hot buttered rum by a fireplace and to look at Christmas lights. Devon Ave just west of the expressway has a neighborhood with very pretty houses and lights!

Indecision

I got up the guts to go shopping for jeans; I went to Old Navy and spent a ridiculous amount of time trying on the same three pairs of pants over and over again. Finally, I still couldn't decide so I got all three, plus a shirt and a sweater because they were only $6 and $10 respectively. I may return a pair of pants to get some of my money back if I end up not liking them. I'm in between sizes, so nothing looked and felt quite right.

Stupid weight gain!!!

I just tried on 3 pairs of jeans that no longer fit...like not even close. I just wore them last year. That's really depressing. It's so cliche to say that I'll start losing weight in the new year, but I just might. If I can eat just enough better for a while that I lose a little weight, then I'll feel better and maybe will start exercising again. I don't feel like doing anything in my current state. It all goes to my middle; it sucks.

I wish

I kind of wish we had Christmas decorations up; it feels a little like bah=humbug. At least my mom has decorations up. Zoe whispered to my mom that she thinks the person with the Christmas decorations is the one who should have people over for the holiday. We're doing it the other way around: Christmas at Eric's and Jill's. I'm looking forward to it. I should get a couple little gifts before then.

Should I, or Should I Not Shop?

I feel kind of like I should get little stocking stuffers for my mom, Jill, and Eric. That would involve shopping tomorrow or Monday (is Monday Christmas Eve, or is that Tuesday?) Plus, I need new jeans; I don't feel like going shopping, let alone trying stuff on...especially until I can lose at least 5 pounds. I know a couple of ideas for my mom. I need a job. It's scary when your money is finite.

Slow Start

I woke up and didn't feel like going to MOm's because I'm tired, but she said that she turned on the Christmas lights, has the fireplace lit, and has the stuff out to make fudge, and has a warm heart. How could I refuse?

First Christmas Gift!

I got a gift basket of chocolates from Dad and Pat! Yay!!

Package?

I'm supposed to get a Christmas package from Dad and Pat today. Nothing yet; I hope it comes soon!

So strange, but it kind of works....

I'm referring to the video. It's kind of funny. Link

Bad, overwhelmed day

1. Everything's stacking up. 2. It's hard to want to go out in public when you feel so fat. I was told last night by someone who doesn't have a censor that I look bigger than I ever have and have a fat ass. So nice. Plus, the other day my mom said, "How could you be tired?" along with a few other things kind of getting on my case. 3. Luckily (?) I have no where to go today. I'm just feeling a little mopey.

Fun at Mom's Tonight

I picked up Noah and Zoe and we went to Mom's. She served us egg nog in tea cups and Chex Mix in ramekins with lids. and horrible cheese pizza, but that's okay. Then we played "candy cane nana" where we hide candy canes and the others have to find them. Then we played Pick Up Sticks. Then we went to some place (I forgot the name) in Vernon Hills to see Christmas lights. They were really fun and had cartoon characters lit up and stuff. Then we went to Winberries for chocolate fondue. Yum. Great day. Noah's voice is changing! I can't believe it; he's 11! He's so cute and so is Zoe. He discovered "Grandma got run over by a Reindeer" and loved it! I warned Eric and Jill. Zoe rested her head on my arm while she was talking to me. So sweet.

Weeeird

It's kind of strange when your 'boyfriend' says I think you have a crush on ________, you should probably go on a date with him.

Professionalism on A SaturdaY?!

I just got my picture taken--about a million times--professionally by a friend. She may use it for advertising, and I can use it for LinkedIn, etc. As a result though, I have make-up on; blah! I feel like going out now, but I didn't want to go where she was going, but I also don't feel like going out by myself. Hm.

Another bizarre email from Mom

Did you get it? Are you penguins? Phelemena was great. You might not have liked. Did you get my text from the theater? Currier and Ives for tomorrow! Wish we had gotten to. My work when you were here so things look fun but crowded. Love

Lame?

I just took a dive in Words with Friends. Is that the right term? I purposely played a lesser word because I felt bad for beating her so much. Pathetic on my part, but her username has the word 'nana' in it, and then I started picturing some 90-year old lady, and I Didn't want to win by a landslide. I want to give her a chance. Come on, nana!!

I miss my friend

But I shouldn't text anything because I already did once, and I'm feeling a little insecure. I really hope I see him soon.

I suck.

I lost at pool tonight. I ate almost an entire chicken burrito when I got home: that tasted amazing. I got a completely enigmatic email from my mom; part of it was this: "Did you want to play words? When do you meet Eric? Tomorrow is suppose to mean snow . however, I still have the urge to see reindeer. Are you interested? Also, have you seen phelemena? Went out today to get evaporated milk and they had everything but that so no fudge yet. Didn't make the cut for the board but I'll try for another one if I see one. "

forget it.

2. Remain alert and awake at all times during work shift.

out tonight

I'm going to brave the cold to go out for a little while tonight.

Probably a Plan for Sunday

Pick up Noah and Zoe at 2:40 and go to mom's, then go out to Highland Park to see Christmas lights and "real reindeer!" Oh yeah, and out for chocolate fondue. I hope it works out; it sounds so fun!

What's gotten into me today?

Why has it turned out to be such a night of reflection? Weird. I just wish I had some answers.

My Personality Type: The Dreamy Idealist

My Personality Type: The Dreamy Idealist

I don't like winter

I'm not dealing well with this whole cold weather thing.

I'm feeling a little down

I've decided that a 'fat day' is better than an 'ugly day.' Today is an ugly day. Blagh. my mom told me I looked old without makeup. That didn't help. On the upside, I bought a pair of boots as my Christmas gift to myself. I just need to get some spray to protect them, and then wrap them. I got a deal because I got them at a kids' store (benefit of having small feet). I took my mom to get an MRI today; she thinks it will be good news that she's excited about regarding her back (I didn't even know her back was bothering her! Result of other stuff hurting, I think.) And the cold weather was pissing me off. But I'll try to focus on the boots. I also got Zoe's Hannukah gift (which we celebrate on Christmas...weird family, I guess! :)

It's a Winter Wonderland!

The snow looks so pretty outside! It's a great day to be indoors and just look out!

Turning out to be a nice night

Left over Chinese food. I watched the end of Purple Rose of Cairo, and now With Paris From Love, or whatever it's called. To Paris With Love? I can't think of it, but anyway, I'm watching that, and about to light a candle and drinking a really tasty red wine. I really get off on things that make me learn. It's how I started loving Henry Miller and Anais Nin as authors...so many references to stuff that I really should have known but didn't. Same with Woody Allen: I just so much love things and people that make me learn. I get so ... whatever the word is .. but I love this kind of mood...It just feels nice and inspires me and makes me love people. Oh, but my point...so in the movie, they just mentioned a play, apparently called "Miss Julie" that I inputted on a web page here so I can read it , or start reading it when I'm done with the movie. Hopefully, it'll be good. Okay, bye. Enjoy your evening.

Watching "To Rome With Love" by Woody Allen

I just finished watching probably my favorite movie ever, The Purple Rose of Cairo. Now I'm watching To Rome With Love, which I've never seen before. I like this line...leave it to Woody Allen! "There's something attractive about a man sensitive to the agonies of existence"

I was exaggerating

I'm not actually moping all night. I just don't like missing out on going out, but if I really want to, I can go out myself.

one more hour

One more hour before he got home, and we could have avoided that argument. Now I'm stuck moping at home alone all night.

An Exercise To Maybe Do Later

"What is your What?"

GRr! WhEN?!

I don't even know anymore when I can show up to see my special friend! I want to see him; I miss him!

8 hours a day for 3 days; I don't know when, but I watched today

Kitties

THERE'S STILL TIME!

zomg! I just found out that it's National Cookie Day! I need to get a cookie right away!

Mom visit

I hope mom feels better soon. I went over and brought groceries to her today and made her chocolate pudding because she wasn't feeling well. The soup and sleep seemed to help a lot. Plus, I got to light the fireplace and turn on her Christmas tree lights; that was so cozy. I think she'll feel better tomorrow.

My mom is so funny

I went over there today to help her do some stuff, and we ended up going out for lunch instead. She decided that it was more important that she have fun today. Go Mom! Then we had a waitress who was acting really jerky, so after about 4 times of her acting like that, my mom said, "Tough day, hmm?" The waitress was taken aback and got defensive, and said, WHY? My mom said she seemed tense and really down to business. Well, yes, it turns out that the woman's father died recently. Once she told us and we said how sorry we were, she was really nice. It was a great reminder of how much difference a little perspective can make.