Dad,,,Sad

This year, My dad was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease. I was really sad, but had no idea how bad it gets. I did not even know that dementia is a symptom, but my dad now had dementia. It is heartbreaking. He is 83 years old. I love my dad so much, and he has always been a hero of mine. I always felt like even though on the outside, I seem very much like my mom, I felt like on the deep, soul-type stuff, I'm a lot like my dad. My dad is the most gentle person you could ever meet. I have rarely seen him raise his voice, and never seen him cry. Well, he looked like he had been crying when I went to visit him (In a nursing home!!!) Monday as he said, "I thought I'd never see you again." That just about killed me. I cried for half the ride home from Streamwood. I really thought it was all the changes in medication that were causing the dementia because it came on so quickly! We went to Gatlinburg, TN for the solar eclipse in late August, and I talked to him on the phone right before we left. He was still living at home, and sounded normal. Now, in late September, he's in a home, and not making sense. On the upside, when I got there, he said, "Well, look who it is!" which sounded like my dad. But then he made the comment about never seeing me again. And Then....well, I won't go into all the particulars. It's private. But I hope they can change the medicine so that he gets better. Apparently, he has good days too; I'd like to visit him on one of those days. At this point in time, I'm scared to go see him. I need to face that and not just think of myself. So, that's the update.