argh anxiety

I need to figure out what is going on and get rid of it. There is no need to feel so anxious. I understand why I'm having some anxiety, but it should be more manageable.

Thoughts and Questions:

Meta anxiety.
Is my awareness of anxiety anxious?
Calibrate first for reliable readings.
Small risks.
What is scary about change?

hrmm

Good night; I'm going to try again because I can't focus on anything...except for two annoying flies that somehow managed to get in here.

d;jli fad ijfdai;jadf ;ij no sleep

still awake. I have to be awake in three hours. I'm going to try staying awake for awhile to see if that makes me tired enough to sleep.

sleeplessness

Ugh, all I was doing was lying in bed thinking about part of the night, and my heart was pounding to the point that I could not sleep. So cliche.

sigh

Dear Diary...

haha just kidding. I had fun tonight. It's interesting that sometimes the times that are most fun are when you have to leave early. Figures. I am SO nice. I am driving Jenny to her temp agency interview at 8:30 a.m. just because she hates driving in the city. At least I can probably get a coffee out of the deal. Now to watch some RNC videos from tonight if I can stand it...I don't have much hair left from all the pulling out while watching these things.

Well, that's cool.

It's cool that Obama did a Q and A on Reddit. Here is an article that includes the Qs and the As.
The Atlantic

Some Mistakes from RNC

thanks to FactCheck.org...

More-ons

I'm still watching some of the RNC speeches, but I just finished watching the Paul Ryan one. I will be looking up some of those things he said because it seemed like a bunch of lies, but I want to double-check.

morons

"I shook the hand of the American dream." -- Rick Santorum

"This is our country. This is our future. These are our children and grandchildren. You can trust Mitt." -- Ann Romney

Two Interviews

I hate days of interviews, but wish me luck. One at a temp agency, and one for a permanent position. Wish me luck. I really wish I could have gotten a haircut; I'm going to have to do some fancy barrette action or something. Did I spell barrette correctly? That looks completely strange. Things to think on: why do you want to work at bla bla bla company? Why do you want this job? References.

afd;ioafd;bgfb;f

I need more friends and new hobbies. I'm being bored way too often lately. I miss being around people who are positive and who want to do stuff. Plus, I think I have an inertia problem. So, how does one make friends? I hear about it all the time...

Spelling

Nicole, "canceled" has one 'l'. It is not cancelled.

I'll add more as I make the mistakes and remember.

woo hoo

I got another interview--Monday downtown 1:00.

Opera dream

I just dreamed of an opera. It was Don Giovanni, but I don't think I've ever seen that opera, and the song is stuck in my head, but it's not the actual song. It was sort of about this family, with one of the sons being really beautiful, and he kept kind of getting in trouble...something with a girl, and then he had a brother, and a dad, and they were saying his name like they were frustrated and disappointed in him, like DON GIOVAAAANI. DONNN GIO-VAAAANIIIII. Whatever, I don't remember more, very weird. Good night.

time

It's odd how often I look at the time on my cell phone just in time to see the time be the first three digits of my cell phone number.

Thursday Interview

I have an interview at a temp agency Thursday at 3:00 p.m. plus a skills assessment.

Eh, kinda cool

It's kind of neat that for Beck's next album he is sharing the sheet music. I just downloaded one of the songs; it's super easy. Too bad I can't sing.

In other news, I just got my "I <3 Obamacare" sticker for contributing to the DCCC. I don't know what to do with it...maybe I'll put it on my file cabinet. Here is what one person did with a Beck song.

Jobs at cool places

I applied to the MacArthur Foundation and to Chicago Public Radio. Both of those would be awesome to work at.

That's done.

I lost both times I played--just barely. I don't really care. It's so funny that I was so close to just blowing it off tonight; I would have had a lot more fun--that's for sure. Alas, I HAD to at least show up, or really mess things up. It's just one week. I had fun beforehand though, and that's something. Oh, and they were playing decent music, so that was a positive too. So now, I mess around on the computer, maybe apply to a few more jobs, and just chill. I like thinking of other people as doing what I'm doing. I don't like feeling like other people are out when I'm in because then I feel like I'm missing out on fun, and I hate that; also, I worry about people. I left voicemails at two temp agencies. I need to start working on lowering my anxiety levels. I haven't always been as tense as I've been lately, and I want to get rid of it; it's causing all sorts of problems for me. I notice certain people cause me more anxiety, and certain people and situations cause me less. I think in terms of life stress it's about empowering myself--taking control of stuff. Tomorrow I'm going to go talk about it, and I'm glad.

job search

I realize more and more that I want a job where I am left alone to do my work. I want to have enough specialization that people trust me to do what I need to do, and I just come in and do it. Is that too much to ask? Now, where do I find that?

Never-ending job application

Wow, this has taken at least an hour. This is the application to be a teaching assistant in reading. This is the second test--Teacher Fit Inventory. Here is one of the questions:
"As you walk into the bathroom, you overhear one of the students tell another student where to buy marijuana, but you did not hear all the details. Once the students realized that you had come into the bathroom, they became silent. Indicate how likely it is that you would take one of the following actions."

Yes, please!

oo oo, a job I'm excited about! I am now applying to a job for Teacher's Assistant in Reading for K-4 grades in Wilmette. This is perfect because I can read!

The requirements are totally easy, and the job sounds like something I'd really enjoy, so in THIS case, I totally wouldn't mind less money. Plus, school hours:

"Responsible for assisting in the planning and implementation of a child care program consistent with policies developed by the Children's Services Department and criteria defined by the Illinois Department of Children and Family Services, and the National Academy of Early Childhood Programs.

Requirements:

High School diploma or equivalent work/education experience, a minimum of 6 hours in Child Development or equivalent quarter hours from an accredited college. Must demonstrate basic reading, writing, and communication skills at a level consistent with entry into college."

Music Maybe

Well, at least I have three turns to take in Words With Friends. That will keep me occupied for about five minutes. Then maybe I'll go play on Gnusic or Gmusic or Goosic whatever the fuck it's called. I'm listening to the playlist I made from their recommendations quite a while ago. At least it's a change of pace; maybe I can find some more new music.

More applications

I just applied to the FDIC and the American Bar Association...I really need $10K more a year than possible job offer is going to offer; I think that's why I'm feeling dread..part of the reason.

As for today, I need entertainment. Would you please entertain me? I just am not at 100%, you know? I want a mojito. That's my favorite summer drink, and I've only had ONE. That's not right. I don't know what to do.

Not good.

now I'm craving soup. But, maybe I'm just tired and not getting sick. Maybe I'll go try to lie down. But I don't wanna..

Oh nose

I think I'm feeling a little sick today.

Nap Dream

I fell asleep for a while and had a dream that I was at a bar, and we were all sitting on the bartender side, but in a row. There was a team coming to play pool, and a certain guy from real life came in and was wearing a red, plaid flannel shirt with brown pants. The shirt was so long that it made him look short even though he's tall. I must have been really thirsty because in the dream I drank three glasses of lemonade really quickly. What the heck is my deal, man??

Mom cancelled

That's very uncharacteristic of her, and she didn't even say why. weird. I hope she's okay. I'm sure she's fine, maybe just not feeling great or something. So...do I hang out with Jenny, and what would we do?

Yoga

Yoga poses and stuff

apparently, yoga is not as effective as cardio or strength-training; rather, it should be used to supplement those, or for overall health, flexibility, mindfulness...

More Exercise Info

rather than exercising, I'll read about it.
"How does one particular thing go from "activity" to "cardio?" It just has to meet two principles.

1. The first is intensity: It only counts as cardio when you elevate your heart rate into an aerobic zone, which is 55% to 85% of your maximum heart rate. You can calculate your target heart rate here. Simply check your pulse during any activity to find out if your activity counts as exercise.

2. Second is time: For any activity to count as cardio, it has to last at least 10 minutes per session. Shoot for a minimum of 10-20 minutes per session, building up to a full hour over time. And remember, time can be cumulative, so 10 minutes here and there throughout the day is a perfectly fine and convenient way to squeeze in your cardio!"

"What's Your Exercise Personality?"

from Quiz
Mostly A's: Multitasking Mover

Pros: Whether at home or on your lunch break, you make the effort to squeeze exercise into your busy life, which is commendable--and no easy task!

Cons: By always doing two things at once (walking while on the phone or doing a quick home workout in between chores), you're prone to stress and never get a moment to relax.

How to make the most of it: While you should keep parking farther away from the store and doing lunges on your lunch break, look at your life and see if there are unnecessary things you're doing. Set aside 10-minute chunks of time just for you to relax and fit more focused exercise in. And to really please the Multitasker in you, choose to incorporate moves into your workout that combine multiple muscle groups at once, like squats with bicep curls or a lunges with a lateral raise.

Future Reference--Clothes

vintage dress I wonder if this would look good on me/fit. I want to remember this company. They're doing Kickstarter or whatever now.

Feeling Weird Today

I've just been feeling dazed all day...not bad...kind of good..just kind of spacey and not knowing why I'm feeling like this. It's hard to explain. Do I feel happY? Do I feel relaxed? Do I feel lovey? I think there is a little ambivalence or sadness or something in there too. Maybe because last night there was a somewhat different dynamic from what I'm used to. Anyway, I don't know what it is. It's an absolutely gorgeous day out today, and it was fun having breakfast with my dad and his wife. Tomorrow I'm going for lunch with mom in Andersonville.

Love

I have such a nice time when I really like people. I had a nice time tonight. It's so nice to be in a better mood. I feel love, and when I get sad, it's usually not sad, it's something else, I think. I'm going to finally eat my Chinese food (I kept it in the car so that I could keep having a nice time...it's pathetic how much I"d go to the ends of the earth to spend time with people); it tastes so yummy. Love, Me.

This close to a job...

I had second interview and I got call asking for references because they are "very interested in pursuing me" for the job. I'm still applying.

oh yeah a dream

I just remembered a dream I had last night.
I was in Paris, in a shopping mall (already this was strange), and everyone was speaking English and eating fried food. That was pretty depressing. I wanted to get a chocolate croissant and cafe, but all these people around me were eating cheese sticks and such. I wanted to practice understanding French, but I only found one couple of men speaking French, and they left.

hmm dream

I just had a dream where I was out playing pool with various people from teams at this weird bar and I was going to shoot and forgot I was holding my cue and asked someone if I could borrow his cue, but he didn't hear and then I realized I had my cue. Then everyone else was laughing over something--I don't remember what--and I woke up with the word aveviation in my head. I just looked it up to see if it was a word, since it didn't sound right...it's not a word. I wonder what it meant in my dream. I love when the mind makes up stuff in dreams. Okay, back to bed. Good night.

A Poem Based on a Poem

Here is the John Updike poem that inspired my poem that I will list after the Updike one.

"Fellatio - a poem

How beautiful to think
that each of these clean secretaries
at night, to please her lover, takes
a fountain into her mouth
and lets her insides, drenched with seed,
flower into her landscapes:
meadows sprinkled with baby's breath,
hoarse twiggy woods, birds dipping, a multitude
of skies containing clouds, plowed earth stinking
of its upturned humus, and small farms each
with a silver silo."

John Updike

___________________________________________________
Fellatio

I read John Updike’s “Fellatio”
and need to work

in an office with you—
3rd shift.

I am clean, but
the air is very, very

dirty. This place is filthy.

I’ll be Employee of the Year;
my picture will be framed
above your head.

Every time you get up,
I’ll be there.

I want to be so good,
I’ll put YOUR lips around your Bic--
use YOUR tongue to lick that tasty sticky strip.

You make me crude—
how can I type up these documents properly,
when my head is filled with
want need you, hair, skin?

I need to focus—
on the head of your pen
as I take dictation;
it must be a rollerball.
I swirl the tip of my pen
around your deliciously salty words.

You’ll fill my mailbox
with letters of praise.

“Employee:
You may not be as hard
a worker as me;

You may not always rise
to the occasion, as I do, but
you grab the bull by the horns,
think outside the box, and
you carry your share of the load.

-Dick.”

I"m home

I am back from chasing the sunset and then driving in the rain. The sunset was beautiful if anyone happened to catch it...around 7:45. Now I'm eating beets. What are you doing?

I'm bored

I'm regretting my decision to stay in, but I don't want to feel uncomfortable again like last night. I don't want to sit there by myself trying to look like I am enjoying myself when I am not. Maybe I'll go for a drive later and SEE if I feel like stopping anywhere. It sucks to be home when you don't feel comfortable at home. It will be so nice to get into another place eventually.

Phew, that's over.

Second interview seemed to go well. I think part of why i'm not excited about the job is that the first person who interviewed me told me the things wrong with the company kind of. I respect that and really appreciate it, but she forgot to tell me anything positive (or there isn't anything positive). So it just seems like drudgery. Anyway, Now I have just me til Friday. Not sure how to spend my time. Do I go out? Do I stay in? I wonder if people ever want to see me. They certainly should; I'm remarkable company. If you disagree, you clearly need to work on your social skills. I shouldn't use much gas. Maybe someone will ask me to hang out; that would just be swell. I can't decide if I should wash off the make-up from my interview, or keep it on and go somewhere while I possibly look slightly better than usual.

I think at least two people (me included) are willing or are expecting to be on the team next season. But if two other people are off, and the newbies don't do it again (I know one will be back at school),..I lost my train of thought...then it will probably be a thing of the past.
I forgot that I was asked to be on Saturday team; I said yes because I like being awake and out by a reasonable hour, and I can skip a lot. What else should I talk about? eh, that's it for now, I guess.

AHHH I'm so nervous

I hate interview days. As my mom would say, I am 'fit to be tied.' Blagh, I can't focus on anything, and I have an upset stomach. It doesn't help that I was already stressed either. I have to be there in 2.5 hours.

dream

I had a dream last night that my brother and sister-in-law were telling me that I have bad breath and people don't like me. Wow. This mood better turn around soon!

sad

It hurt my feelings that I told someone that I was going somewhere, and I got there just in time to see that person leaving. Was it to avoid seeing me? I was going to say hi, but I thought he'd be coming back. Plus, I'm still sad about the stuff I was sad about last night.

not today

Mom and I decided against the art show today, since she just went there with Zoe yesterday, and I didn't feel like showering (Sunday=lazy). So, we're getting together Wednesday for lunch instead. 11:00 she'll pick me up. So...I have my Cheerios; I have my coffee; I have no plans.

I ended up talking to Mom for over an hour on the phone. Her funny stories were that when she went for breakfast with Noah, she told the cashier that she is eligible for the senior discount, and he said, "take off your glasses" (maybe sunglasses??)--she did--then he said, "oh okay." She said she burst out laughing. The other story was that she was in the parking garage at her condo, and she said hello to an old couple (everyone else in the building is quite a bit older and older-seeming than my mom), and as they were getting in the car, my mom just caught the woman saying to her husband, "WHO...was THAT?!" What a bitch. But mom thought it was hilarious.

So, I apply for a bunch more jobs later today because I'm not feeling good about the job that second interview is for Tuesday. I want to feel at least a little enthused about SOMETHING. I'm not sure what to do about pool tomorrow. On one hand, shirk summer duties, but on the other hand, that screws over members of the team who do their part. I don't like screwing people over, so I'm not sure what to do. Do I just not get a hold of anyone, and not show up unless someone asks me if I'm coming? Do I just show up, since there are only a couple weeks left? Do I not show up and not answer my phone? I don't think I can be that irresponsible. I would feel guilty since I would not actually have other plans. I'll see how I feel tomorrow. Happy Sunday to anyone reading this.

insomnia

Last night and tonight have been utter failures where sleep is concerned. Thoughts are keeping me up, I think.

stressedout

I'm stressed and I'm not saying why. I have too much anxiety; why, and how do I get rid of it? Please help me. Thank you. Good night. In the morning I go to an art show with Mom. I'm looking forward to that.

boring

I don't feel like doing anything.

Bark once if...

you think I should go out by myself tonight.

Bark twice if you're stupid.

Bark three times if you're a cat.

Bark four times if you're a dog.

passwords

People who can't remember their passwords should not be allowed to have passwords.

Should I admit defeat?

I haven't really been able to sleep yet..maybe ten minutes here and there--I'm not sure. SO...do I try, try again, or do I just give up, make coffee and act like it's Saturday morning now (which it is)? I wonder if there are any good cartoons on tv nowadays? I don't think so. That's a shame. I don't think I'm awake enough for that just yet. My mind just never turned off enough to sleep. I keep thinking or imagining or whatever. I have a little tiny bit of a headache. What to do, what to do, what to do....? I want more Cheetos, but that would be very bad. Maybe Cheerios? or wait?

SeriouslY??

This bag of CHEETOS says "Made with all natural oil. We grow the best snacks on Earth."
Wow, it's nice to know that I'm snacking so healthily!

Fuck, it's 6:16 in the morning and I'm up playing on the computer and muncha-munching on Cheetos. Classy.

sigh

I hope he remembers and feels good about the time we hung out tonight. I liked walking the dog with him. I get so excited around him but also feel comfortable. I wonder what he was talking to bartender about. I felt bad not saying goodbye; it didn't work out. I just wish he'd gradually feel comfortable talking more about himself; every time he starts, he shuts himself up a lot of the time. I'm having trouble sleeping, but I shall try again. Good night. :)

Test your Political Knowledge with 11 questions

Pew Pew

dork dork dork dork dork

Yeah, I was just googling myself, WHAT?! Anyway, I just think it's funny that I found this old presentation I did for a very silly class. The instructor must have posted students' work online.

Betty Friedan from Thomas Tresser

Jenny

Poor Jenny got laid off today. That SUCKS. She's handling it remarkably well. I apparently am going to be helping her with her resume tomorrow, as well as helping her with her computer woes. An installation disk is being shipped to her from Dell. I can't imagine it being anything more than 'click' 'click' 'next' 'next' 'okay' and so on. But she is computer-illiterate enough that that is a bit too much for her to handle on her own. I should set up her printer while I'm there. She is still of the mindset that you print out 50 resumes when you're looking for a job. We do things a little differently to say the least.

I'm diplomafied

My diploma finally came in the mail. Bachelor's is finally done after 21 years. Oy. Maybe by the time I'm dead I'll get a Psy.D.

what do you do if...

So, I got a call to come in for a second interview at... That's great, but the salary range is $10,000 less than I need.

What do you do in that case? I know I should take anything, but I tend to get complacent in jobs once I have them, and it's not enough money. IF it came to discussing salary or accepting or rejecting the job, what should I do? Too bad no one will tell me here. I know I should tell them my salary wish, ask if there is the possibility of making close to what I want in the near future, and then probably take it regardless, but I wonder if I'm right. I don't always trust myself. Plus, I'm not excited about the job or the money. What is wrong with me?!

I should go to Dairy Queen. I really should...

It would be a great day for...

one of my favorite lunches is (only on rainy days) grilled cheese sandwich, tomato soup, and chocolate milk. Alas, the only ingredient I have besides skim milk is bread.
Damn damn damn.

News Room funny lines from episode 4

"I'm on a mission to civilize."
"Anchor Rancor"

Good night

Sweet dreams.

kitty...continued...test

^..^
>--<
nope.
^ ^
O O
^
(-)
certainly not.
um,
^..^ meow
>()<

Procrastination...continued

Why does this cup of coffee taste like a cigarette?
Aww, cigarettes. sigh.

Procrastination--Things I need

interview shoes
Sonicare toothbrush head replacement
hair rubberbands
caulk

Nope.

Ounce of Prevention of Employment.

1455

got it.
phew.
^..^

awww, that looks like a kitty!

anyway, 6:00 p.m. downtown...walkwalkwalk the usual way.
right off train, but I'll have car.
dumb. (not me; the situation!)

Class

I'm supposed to go speak for a few minutes to my ex-professor's class, but I can't find the email that says WHERE. argh. Plus, I have an appointment an hour beforehand, so I'm going to have to hustle a little. I hope she gets back to me as to the location.

Stuff I thought about...

I think when I make self-deprecating remarks it is because I edit myself too much. I edit myself too much because I am scared to be angry because I don't want people to be like, 'you're mad? well, screw you' and just go away. It's not worth it to me. I don't know why I think that they would do that...something to ponder. So I start out saying probably something that's more honest (I don't try to be less than honest, but sometimes I don't know the correct amount of feeling to have), and then I rethink it because I don't want to sound too mean or too whiny or whatever, and it seems like it often ends up insulting to me because that's safer than actually saying that I'm upset. Plus, I think I expect people to read between the lines...it's not their responsibility to do that though. So maybe I should experiment: when I start out saying one thing and re-think because it seems too mean and I think about rewording it, maybe I should resist the urge, say the original thing, and just see what happens. What if someone thinks I'm a bitch and is like screw her and doesn't talk to me anymore? Or likelier, just doesn't talk to me for a while? Or even better yet, maybe someone will talk to me about it; that's the healthiest option. I'm okay with talking about stuff. I don't mind people telling me they're pissed about something, or any other feeling, as long as we can work it out and they'll still be around. If it's a big enough deal, maybe they won't even be around, but most things aren't that big. This doesn't count as sharing my feelings too much because I'm just trying to figure something out about myself in a productive way. I am flattered when someone tells me constructive feedback--even if sometimes it's hard to hear--because it shows honestly and enough care to bother. The best way for us all to grow, I think, is to get other people's feedback. Not everyone agrees with this. It gets confusing. On one hand, don't worry what other people think, but then again, it's helpful to know what other people think because we are so biased about ourselves. The way I've thought about it for many years is this: no one thinks he or she is crazy (not really), but some people are crazy. Therefore, some of are are dead wrong about ourselves. No one thinks he or she is the wrong one, but some of us clearly are. SO...that means that when we are sure we're right, we might not be, so we should contemplate that sometimes. I don't know.

Stuff to think about

I won't think too much, but I need to work on not saying 'I feel stupid' and similar because that seems insecure and...unattractive, I suppose. But I need to realize that just because acting that way is not the most attractive, that doesn't mean that people who realize I do this dislike me. It's not a rejection, I don't think. They are just letting me know maybe that I am better than that, or maybe, that they deserve better out of people they know. I'm not sure. But whatever, I shouldn't frame things in that negative and self-deprecating light. Say how I feel and trust that that won't make people reject me, and if it does, they're dicks.

D-O-N-E

a hur and a ray.

I ended up thinking, 'huh, what a weird fucking book.'
and into the bookcase it goes--between "Revenge of the Lawn" by Richard Brautigan (not yet read) and Nightwood by Djuna Barnes (not yet read).

After thinking about it a little, it was really hard to get through, but there was enough good writing, and stuff ended up making just barely enough sense that I kind of ...mm, appreciated it. I wouldn't QUITE say I liked it, but I kind of liked it.

Now, back to getting my hands around an old, wrinkly Balzac.

This will sound sophomoric, but..

why don't people ever understand me? Sometimes I get in a mood, and I expect others that I encounter to be in that same mood, or at very least, understand that I am in that mood and cooperate. But instead, they're not in the mood, they don't understand my mood, and they do not cooperate. Then I end up in tears because I'm reading a book all about solitude. Upside: two pages left. I will let you know when I finish because there will be much rejoicing. :-)

Now with no typos..."One Hundred Years of Solitude" quote

This is just nice writing:
(it is describing a scene where he forcefully threw her on the bed and tore off her robe after she had just showered...)

"Amaranta Ursula defended herself sincerely with the astuteness of a wise woman, weaseling her slippery, flexible, and fragrant weasel's body as she tried to knee him in the kidneys and scorpion his face with her nails, but without either of them giving a gasp that might not have been taken for that breathing of a person watching the meager April sunset through the open window."

job search part deaux

I also just applied for "Ezine Editor" position. I could see myself having that title. That's what it's all about really, whether I can see myself with a title, right?? I just can't seem to make myself apply for more admin jobs right now. But I have to apply for everything. grblagh.

job search

I just applied for a position for part-time content screener for obituaries. I do worry that I'd be crying for a majority of my work, and I do worry that all I can think about is the "Curb Your Enthusiasm" episode where there was a typo in the obit that said "Our beloved cunt" instead of aunt. I would be constantly searching for that. Still, it's work from home, and although the ad said it's too much work to have with a full-time job, I find that kind of hard to believe. I would have to have another job because it's shit pay, but hey: MONEY!

I Scream

I need ice cream. (hi!)

fun..sort of...

I found codeacademy.com and am learning the most ridiculously simple form of javascript that must have ever existed. I wonder how in-depth it will get. I wonder what ELSE I can learN. In the past I have learned the itsiest bitsiest amounts of Basic and Unix. (don't make fun of me; I mean, REALLY basic (pun intended) stuff. OH yeah, and I dabbled in html enough to create a very, very simple web page. (I forgot now how you're supposed to write that. I think it's webpage now.) I got some text, a picture, and some links, and a background color, and then I think I lost interest. That was probably ten years ago.

WEEEE Rain!!!

It's so stupid how much I love a good thunder storm! I was going to go for a walk; it's a good thing I didn't. It's a little too much rain for a leisurely stroll. I'm not sure if I should go out later or not.

Wow, you really ARE an apple.

hee hee. annoying orange. I like it because Noah.

grrrr

stupid piano is NOT cooperating. It keeps playing all the wrong notes, and now, oddly enough, I'm having trouble typing because my fingers are wanting to go where they went on the piano keyboard. heh. that's funny. But seriously...stupid piano. I wanted it to sound pretty. It should really practice more.

dream

weird dream that I broke the window in the front door of a house that I was living in, but some guy was coming to the door, and he thought he did it. I should have taken responsibility, but he said his insurance would cover it. Then there were two blonde girls and two brunette girls and a blonde guy and a brunette guy and they were all laughing about how perfect that was and the girls were all competitive with each other but laughing about it, and it was like the guys were getting turned on by everything happening. Very weird. Oh, and the guy was carrying an honor society folder and I said I recognized him from school and he was all flattered and kept asking was it this class? was it that class (Used names of classes in the dream).

He collects antics?! I'm there!

Thomas Reeves tomreeves@artbbmail.com

7:33 PM (7 minutes ago)

to me
Thank you for sending your resume,

Your interest about the job has been received. This might seem a little different from the Reception/ Administrative Assistant position placed however it is due to the need for an urgent replacement for my Personal Assistant the Office Temp position was placed. I really need someone urgently to take up the position as my personal assistant and also help me with shipping, mailing and general errands. My name is Thomas Reeves and Mr Fang Lee use to be my personal assistant and he just traveled back to his country (China) on an emergency. I would have loved to meet up with you to talk about this job, but I am currently away on business trip. I am currently in Australia so there will be no interview, till I get back to the United States in July, then we can meet and talk more about the future of the job as i would be setting up an art gallery and I can have you manage it. All you need to do is follow instructions daily. I am an Artist. I just started my own art gallery here in Australia, I buy ideas, Artifacts, antics and materials from ancient cities and I have got so many clients as companies, individuals and governmental institutions and private museums.

I am looking for someone who can handle my personal and business errands at his/her spare time. Someone who can offer the services listed on the advert on careerbuilder such as receiving calls and reporting back to me what information you got from clients, replying emails and printing invitation for exhibitions, shopping for gifts and materials, paying bills as well as receiving payments from clients when am not around, handle local cash and transfers on my behalf such as Western Union. This position is a very trusting one and a high level of trust worthiness is required. So if you know you fit into this category/personality then i would be expecting your prompt response back.

You will work on the average of about 20-30hrs per week and I will start by paying you $400 per week which will rise to $600 depending on how effective you are, the job will start from the moment you start running errands. This job is temporary and could possibly be a permanent one for you based on how you deliver your duties, we will talk more when am back and you can take part more in my successfully growing business.

I will email you the list and samples of pictures of what to shop for when I need you to shop for me and will be precise on what and where, funds will be giving upfront and the shopping must be reported in detailed manner. No heavy packages is involved! You can do the shopping at any nearest stores. I will provide clear set of instructions for each task I need done as well the funds to cover them.


Please provide the following information of you, (no mistakes in name as it will appear on payments):

Full Name:
Full Address:
Apartment number:
City:
State:
Zip code:
(NO P.O.BOX)
Phone Number:
Current Occupation:

Once you send all this information, i will make a back ground check on your details and will get back to you within 24hrs to let you know if you get the job.


Thank you!

I Need to Find Results for This

I forgot to put a link...here it is so you too can take the sample test. Career Development Test I found a test you can take to figure out what careers you might be good for, but without paying, I was only allowed to take a "taster" version, and I didn't get a list of careers that would be good for me. I'm hoping that I'll somehow be able to find that though. Here are the results that it DID give me about me.

Practical and Realistic: Low
Low

People scoring high on this scale are practical down to earth people who are good at facts and rely on their experience. They remember names, faces and directions quite easily and are usually accurate in observing detail. They are reliable, no nonsense types. They are not always very creative nor do they usually see the 'big picture', preferring instead to stick to the facts and rely on their own past experience. They are good at jobs involving facts and figures where attention to detail is important such as in accounting and administration.

You scored low on this scale suggesting that you would not be particularly comfortable in activities involving considerable reliance on facts and reality. You may find such activities, for example, book keeping or administration, rather dry and lacking a creative and imaginative element that your personality type might prefer.

You would probably be unwise to become too heavily involved in these 'practical and realistic' activities which may well play directly to your weaknesses which are likely to be a disinterest in facts and detail. Instead, you may need to look for something more imaginative, creative or strategic.

Creative and Innovative: Very High
Very High

Your very high score strongly suggests that you are very ingenious and imaginative. You are almost certainly quick to see new possibilities and have a facility for vision and strategy. You are likely to have an intuitive understanding of how events unfold and be able to 'see' into the future.

You are almost certainly motivated by new projects and ideas and can find ingenious solutions to problems. However, you will almost certainly find routine activities quite dull and so your challenge will be to stay motivated long enough to get your ideas and concepts put into practice. The downside to all this creativity and ingenuity is that you are probably less interested in the detail which could result in you making small mistakes that destroy your credibility.

You are most likely to be comfortable in activities which involve designing and planning for the future and creating new theories, systems and techniques. Avoid routine, fact-based activities wherever possible as this will play directly to your weakness which is a lack of interest in down-to-earth routine.

Objective and Analytical: Very Low
Very Low

People who score high on this scale tend to be very objective in their decision making, arguing their case through logic and principle. They are more comfortable with impersonal and objective judgments and can make difficult decisions based on logic rather than sentiment. Their choice of activities tends to reflect their ability to make impersonal judgments and they may not be comfortable in areas involving emotional sensitivity. They can appear cold and unemotional.

You scored very low on this scale suggesting that you would be very uncomfortable in activities involving complete objectivity and tough decision-making and that you would almost certainly be more comfortable in more people oriented and caring activities.


Sympathetic and Harmonising: Very High
Very High

You scored very high on this scale strongly suggesting that you are very sympathetic to other people and like to work in harmony with them. You almost certainly make your decisions based on the wish to get on with other people and take their feelings into account rather than on ruthless objectivity.

You are likely to be very sensitive to the needs and motivations of other people, to be trusted by them and have a natural empathy with them. However, there is a danger that you might avoid facing up to critical issues in an effort not to upset other people which might appear to your more ruthlessly objective colleagues as muddle headedness and indecision. Therefore, activities involving dispassionate or difficult decision-making might be best avoided.

Your strong preference for empathising with people suggests that you could be very persuasive when you choose to be, making you a useful team player and good at selling ideas. What would probably satisfy you most is using your natural empathy and ability to communicate with other people in such diverse areas as community care, counselling, selling or teaching although there are many other occupations where this talent could be used.å

Songs that Make Me Happy? ... Anyone??

I remember that I was going to make a list here of songs that make me happy. I think I haven't done it because almost any song can make me happy, so it's hard to pick some. Happy, silly songs are too easy. Then, should I list them as videos as I did with the other list of songs, or should I just put links to the songs? I should at least pick a couple, or try. (more coming later...)



Wave A White Flag







9mm Go Bang

not happy

not happy not happy.