I like things that make me think.

"love the people who deserve to be loved." I may not have gotten the quote right, but I still kind of like it. From a cheesy movie that I'm enjoying; I thought I didn't like it, but I'm liking it tonight. Oh shit, Charlie Rose..gotta watch that too. And Bill Maher. But Seriously, what I don't like about movies is that I'm one of those idiots who believes in them. Then I stand in front of the mirror and get reality back. I'm not a beautiful 20-something with makeup and earrings and a new haircut. My hair is dirty and with gray hairs and my face has blotches on it. I could do myself up and look better, but that's not my point right now. I get sucked in. Romantic scenes at bars..intimate conversations on stoops...they make me want to go to a bar and sit on a stoop. But if I did that, it wouldn't continue on like in the movie. It would be completely different. Completely different can be really good too...but just sometimes, and still different. I guess that's where you have to relinquish some control and take things as they come rather than how you expect them. Maybe I'll write more about this later...if the urge comes. Well, also....I want so much to be as idealistic as I think I am, but sometimes I scoff at sweet stuff because...I don't know...maybe I'm closing myself off from it so as to not get hurt? It's like Eric said a long time ago...that I'm the most cynical idealist he's ever known. (something like that) and it's like Mom says...sometimes when I have the hardest time remembering something or saying something...that means you're getting close to the real stuff. I really want things to happen like the romantic scenes in movies and like the fun and happy parts of commercials. Yes, I'm corny like that. I mean, I guess everyone probably does, but most people have enough sense to give up on it. (I say that somewhat facetiously because I don't actually think we should give up on it.) I love when things go well.