Well, am I sick, or aren't I?

I know saying 'aren't I?'is horrible grammar, but I've never figured out a better way of saying it...except "am I not?" but, come on... Anyway, if I'm going to get sick, I wish I would already. For two or three days, I have had a sore throat and just been a little tired, and today I feel just a little bit achey too. But I haven't actually gotten sick. Is this as sick as I'm going to get? Weird. Okay, back to my coffee.

Two days ago already

I hope my friend had a happy birthday two days ago. It's the easiest birthday in the world to remember. I don't think he has texting anymore, so I didn't send him a message.

Christmas

I pretty much know what i'm getting for Christmas...mainly because my mom keeps sending me emails that were meant for my brother. This has happened twice so far; the second time, I didn't even bother mentioning it. too funny. It reminds me of when I was in high school, and I, or my brother, got my Dad a tie for Father's Day, and my mom came into the kitchen asking, "Has he opened his tie yet?" Well, no actually he hadn't. There went that surprise!

Mild Grumble

It bothers me when people underestimate people. I was just reading a recipe for a cocktail--on a list of cocktail recipes--and it said something about people not liking when ingredients stray too much from their comfort zone. It just reminded me of how people say not to talk about religion or politics at parties and stuff. I mean, are people that shitty that they can't handle a new ingredient, or a different opinion from theirs? Maybe people really do suck that much, but we shouldn't bow down to them. Let them improve a little rather than everyone else going down to lowest common denominator.

Breaking glass

That opera last night was very screechy. I liked it all in all, but I don't like when the voices are soooo high-pitched! Good songs though. Now I want to see the non-opera version of Porgy and Bess. We left at intermission (!) so I don't even know what happens! We went out for burgers and beer. Funny!

Today

We're going to see Porgy and Bess at the opera tonight. YAY! I'm looking forward to it! Oh, and I had an interview today for a part-time job. YAY! So the only hard part left is not putting pajamas on. Keep my interview clothes on for tonight; so hard. I'm not accustomed to being dressed up...especially at home!

Hanukkah and Christmas

People should be required to send a different list of stuff they want to each person they know. Otherwise, people all get them the same things! I got my nephew a gift, then my brother said someone else is getting him that. So I'm going to give that to my niece instead. But then, what do I get Noah? Anything on his list will be gotten for him! And then, once she sends me her list, I'm not going to get anything that she lists! Also, my silly mom accidentally sent me the list of things she's planning on getting me for Christmas, when she meant to send it to my brother! UGH! Now I have to try to forget!

Interview(s)

I went to an interview today at Binny's. I think it went well; it's just a little mortifying to be considering a retail job after working in the office environment for so long. I haven't worked retail in ...almost 20 years. That means I'm old. But hey, getting a discount there would be cool, although that wasn't mentioned. Then I also got an email today asking to schedule a phone interview for an office job. YAY! Hopefully, I can talk to her tomorrow. Applying for a retail job kind of got me re-enthused about office jobs. You know? It seems so much easier. Either way...money coming in would be nice. There are pros and cons to both environments too. But if I get the job at Binny's, i have to work Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve. That's a big negative, but it comes with the territory.

Nerd Fest

Someone who shall remain nameless (not me!) is skyping in to play Dungeons&Dragons with his co-workers right now.

Errands

after running errands, I am now irritable. The ride was just irritating; people cutting me off, one way streets going the wrong way, bicyclists acting like cars, and now I've been forbidden from sitting on the couch. (not literally, but apparently, SOMEONE is perfectly comfortable right now) WhatEVER! Maybe I'm just bored. I brought in an application to Binny's; maybe I'll get it and get a discount. But I'd have to wear one of those ugly shirts that only men should wear. For two nights in a row I've have lesbian action dreams. What in the world? so...what to do now??? I don't feel like showering. If I drink red wine, I'll have to brush my teeth again.

Fat

I really need to stop eating like this, especially while I'm not exercising.

Idiots

It's so painful when CSPAN lets callers call in and say how they feel about stuff. They sounds like such morons; I don't know how the newscasters can look so professional. I'd be rolling my eyes like crazy. One lady, when talking about immigration, said she had the solution: she would deport Obama. She also said that from now on, when going out, she was going to ask for proof from servers at restaurants, etc to prove that they were legal. If they wouldn't, she would go to their managers. Otherwise, she would return her merchandise and leave. Oh my jesus.

Immigration Reform Speech

I felt kind of bad for Obama during his speech; he seems pissed and a little defensive...understandably. I don't know how I feel about the issue, but the way he described it, it sounded good. I also read an article about a week ago that listed several reasons why his plan was bad. That made sense too. Maybe Charlie Rose will talk about it on his show tonight.

me

I have a bad case of the 'I don't wanna's. At least I get to leave in two hours to go play 9-ball and maybe have a drink or...

Right

It's so hard to be right when you're the only one who realizes it.

Let me explicate what it means

explicate: to make plain or clear; explain; interpret. (from dictionary.com)

From my personality profile

Personality tests may be somewhat b.s. when found online, but this one is fairly accurate. From the careers section of mine, this part seems very true for me. The question is what to do about it! "Where INFPs will not thrive is in a high-stress, team-heavy, busy environment that burdens them with bureaucracy and tedium. INFPs need to be able to work with creativity and consideration - high-pressure salespeople they are not. It can be a challenge to avoid these roles, as they are the basis for so much starting work, and it's often a risk to break away into something less dependable, but more rewarding. To find a career that resonates with INFPs' values though, that's more than just a job, sometimes it's just what needs to be done."

A fault

Apparently, sometimes I can be a bit of a micromanager. I don't like micro-managers, so I should work on not being like that. It totally comes from trying to help people, but I guess that's annoying and doesn't come off that way.

First World Problems

Man! I ordered salmon for delivery, but they called and said they're out of salmon, so I had to get the cod. GRRR!

UGH!

WHY would you get in the shower when we have to leave in ten minutes?! So frustrating!

Mystery Neighbor

It's weird that we have a new upstairs neighbor (I don't remember when she moved in, but I think it's been like a couple of months), and we've still never even seen her! Very strange.

Extended Birthday Celebration

I'm going to Eric's tonight for dinner, and Mom's coming to celebrate my birthday. This was a first: My dad was the first to see me for my birthday; usually he's the last. I think we're ordering Chinese. Fun! I just hope he doesn't order Chicken Curry. Yuck.

sigh

It was soooo nice to see my *special* friend tonight!!!

Birthday poem from Caleb

"While celebrating your birthday Remember to not get too manic Because you just turned forty two The important thing is Don't Panic If Douglas Adams were still here And not buried in some old Bic hole* He'd wish, as I do, you good cheer And such a Happy Birthday Nicole! *people actually do stick pens in his grave so that rhyme is not as tortured or nonsensical as it might first appear" --Caleb

Happy Birthday To Me!!

I woke up early, I've gotten 6 Facebook messages that say happy birthday (yeah, Facebook is lame, but whatever), and my brother, Jill, Noah, and Zoe called and sang Happy Birthday to me, and Jill said know that you are loved by us all. Aww. That's so sweet and made me feel so good.

sad election day

It's scary that Rauner won and Republicans won over Senate. I guess I need to look into more of the political views of Rauner now that he won, but they were sad election day results.

Civic Duty: Complete.

It feels so good to vote. I just don't want the republicans to take over the senate. We'll see what happens.

Fake Therapy

My mom perked right up after we started playing fake therapy on the phone. We were making up people and their stories and then deciding how we would deal with them. We even have an assignment before we meet tomorrow: she gets a man that has been cheated on by his wife, and I get a man who cheated on his wife. Fairly successful, middle-aged white men. And she said we have to have it solved by tomorrow; I don't think that's going to happen. It's complicated!

damn it!

Where is my special friend?! I miss him! I lost at pool tonight. I played okay, but the 5 I played was way better than me.

Genealogy

My mom just told me that I'm a relative of FDR. Cool!

Impatient

Let's go let's go let's go let's go let's go!!!! I don't like sitting around waiting!!

Dirty Bastard

Have you ever played the 'is my hair too dirty to go out?' game? ... No, me either. Of course not. Gross.

Anxiety

My anxiety level seems to have been rising lately. I'm not exactly sure why, although I have some ideas, I suppose. I should probably work on bring my anxiety back down. Maybe I Should start doing yoga again.

dinner. blagh.

It's a damn shame when all you can think after eating a particular meal is, 'what a waste of calories.'

Another job description

Such important duties at these jobs I'm applying for: really great for self worth. "cleans white boards at the end of each day"

Job Descriptions

Oh my gosh. One of the jobs listed on CareerBuilder has as the SECOND bullet in a list of job duties: "Remove Staples." Seriously?!

Dinner

I guess I really needed my vegetables. We got Al's Beef for lunch/dinner, and none of that stuff sounded good, so oddly enough, I ordered a salad. It tasted delicious, and I gobbled it all up, so I think I was lacking!

Why am I always so sleepy?

I got 12 hours of sleep last night, and yet, getting out of bed was still difficult. I feel tired like I want a nap. This is not normal; why can't I ever wake up feeling refreshed and like I WANT to get out of bed? I hope that changes.

A Night at the Opera

I went to see Don Giovanni tonight. It was pretty entertaining. Crowded! Almost sold out. $9 for a glass of wine too! But Mom bought the ticket; she bought two so that we could go together, but she wasn't feeling well today so she cancelled. I couldn't find anyone else to go with, so I went alone. I missed her, but it was still nice. Luckily, I told her about discounted fare, so she didn't pay full price. Early birthday gift. Like a month early...well, I guess 3 weeks. Wow, that's coming up quickly.

Zoe (my adorable niece)

I don't have a current picture of her to attach to this, but tonight is her 10th birthday party of a Harry Potter theme. All the guests get a broom, and they're making potions (lotions, soaps, etc). I hope they have fun.

My precious nephew

Yesterday was Noah's 12th birthday (!) and he apparently told my brother, "I'm going to miss being 11. There was so much more I wanted to do." Awww.

Phone calls

I know I've complained about this before, but it's so annoying that Jenny wants to talk on the phone so much more than I do. She always complains that I don't talk to her, so I answer the phone, talk to her for about half an hour, say I'm going to go, and she complains...but we just started talking! No...that was half an hour ago. Anyway, after 5 minutes of complaining, she finally 'lets' me get off the phone but says call me later. I go, I don't know if I'm going to. If I have anything new to say, then I will call. She says, but I always have stuff to talk about; you don't have to say anything. Yeah, great. So, I say maybe I'll call. She goes, whatever, I'll call you at 8. And you WILL answer. I don't think so; but we'll see.

job (in)stability

Even my own mom is basically firing me. I was helping her by cleaning her condo, and because I kept having to reschedule, she said she is canceling our agreement. That feels like shit. I hope she changes her mind. Grr. Am I really this horrible of a worker??

Baby steps

I finally did some cardio exercise today. Only about 11 minutes (but who's counting?), but hey, it's a start. Waking up a little earlier just might be better for me. Who would have thought?? I've washed half the dishes and taken a shower too. Maybe it's all the coffee I drank? Let's see if I can do it again tomorrow.

Greetings

I am no good at the hug/kiss hello. I can't stand how it has become a thing. I mean, I guess for quite a while now it's been a thing. But seriously, I always go for the hug, and men go for the kiss on the cheek. It's very awkward; I've never gotten comfortable with the kiss/kiss on the cheek at the same time thing. So then, instead, I either hug them while they kiss me, or I kind of offer them my cheek to kiss while I do nothing, which feels like I"m some kind of royalty or something. If it's someone I'm close with, I don't mind; things feel natural, but with acquaintances, it's very awkward. And everyone needs to touch you in some form both when you say hello, AND when you say goodbye! Ugh. We're not that close.

yawn

I think I'm still depressed; why do I sleep so much? I woke up at 3 today.

I Broke the Fast

It was the usual nice celebration at my bro's and sis-in-law's tonight. Now I"m home, which is nice too; I'm having a pumpkin beer, but oh my gosh, it's freezing in here!!!! If you're reading this, I hope you're having a nice night.

rainy night

I dig the rain and lightning. I wanted to go out tonight, but it's kind of too late for going, taking the bus, etc. Darn.

Then again...

I don't know...maybe I won't go out at all. I need to decide.

Girl's Night Out

woooooo!!!! Just kidding. NOt Girls' Night out. Girl's night out. I will be going out alone...most likely...within a couple of hours...most likely.

Saturday

It's off to pool. It's not the same as it used to be. I miss that. It still needs a raised viewing area booth.

When to go

I think I'm going to go out by myself tonight. The question is: should I leave earlier, or later? I'm not sure if I should leave in the next few minutes, or wait a couple of hours. Hm.

Logon trouble again

I got the results from my bloodtest (Sunday: weird), but I can't log in because I can't remember my password and/or security question's answer. Grrr.

Damn!

When when when when when when when?!! I went out tonight in hopes of seeing my friend, alas....

Summer, yeah right!

OMG it's so cold. This has been such an April Fool's Day kind of summer. I think I've only worn shorts like twice. What the ?? I just went to take the garbage out just as an excuse to walk in the rain. I do like that aspect. Now it's back to my Words with Friends games I'm playing with my mom. I may go for a drive later; we'll see. I already went to the bank. It felt so good to actually make a deposit; I don't know how long it's been since I've done that! Enjoy your evening. If you're who I'm thinking of, I miss you. If not, don't get any ideas; I don't miss you at all. But if you are....oh yeah.

Hurray for Bravery

I made myself go to the doctor today; it was fine. Although my arm is sore from where they took blood; I've never had that happen before. I'm kind of annoyed by it, but whatever. My blood pressure is still down to a more manageable level which pleases me greatly. 130/80. She said that's still a little elevated, and she wants me to email her after I take my reading a few more times in a couple of weeks. I don't know how long it will take to get my results from the blood work. Oh and also, she thinks that the medication I'm taking may be responsible for my weight gain...something to think about. Maybe I should stop taking it. hmm. Have to check.

Be brave!

I'm going to try to be brave and not chicken out of going to the doctor tomorrow. I like my doctor. Also, it would be good to get all my numbers--cholesterol, blood pressure...I don't want to know my weight since I know I've gained some, but that's part of the package too. I don't have a ventra card, so I'll have to pay for a temporary card. Hopefully, she won't want to order any tests for me or put stickers all over me to check my heart like last time!

Not my calling

I just started a tutorial on Python. I don't like it. From the tiny little bit that I learned of this and of Javascript, I like Javascript a lot more. Maybe it's easier, or maybe the exercises were just more fun. Whatever, I'll keep trying. I think I'm just already lost. Ugh.

Family Part II

Oh, and I almost forgot. Jill's dad is in Israel volunteering for the army! That doesn't sound safe to me, but good for him! Also, a funny story. Apparently, when Noah smells weed (like at Great America), he calls it "the Lollapalooza smell." haha.

Family

It is so nice being around family. I "babysat" Noah and Zoe today, which was a breeze, and it was really nice to see them. I hadn't seen them all summer! And it was great to talk to my brother for a little over an hour before I left. I miss doing that a lot. We drink wine and talk before I leave. I told them I love them, and didn't expect the kids to say anything back, which Zoe didn't, but Noah said, "love you more." So sweet. I forgot to pick some tomatoes from their garden before I left; I will do that next week, when I see them again...for the next three weeks, I think. Noah got a drum set, which looks just like the one Eric used to have, only a different brand. Eric said this one's nicer. And I'm envious that they have an elliptical machine; if I had one maybe I could actually lose some weight. Anyway, I hope next week is as easy as today was. Oh, and then Friday I go to my mom's to do cleaning for her like I did last week. I didn't have the guts to try on my swimsuit; otherwise, it would be nice to go swimming. Eric said instead of worrying about not having gotten him a birthday gift, just get a job. That sounds bad, he said, but I understood. He said he wants me to be able to do the things I want. That's nice. I agree. My dad said once he goes in for the next test or procedure for his heart, once he knows it is okay, we should get together for breakfast or lunch. So probably a couple more weeks.

Great Aunt Elinore

My great aunt (My Grandma's sister) posted a video to Facebook today of her going skydiving for her 90th birthday. How cool is that? Not that I have any desire to do that, but good for her. I like hearing her talk on the video; she sounds just like my Grandma, who died a few years ago at 102.

Oh geez

Now I kind of wish we were going to Capriccio instead. Renee Fleming AND Anne Sofie Van Otter are in it! People I've actually heard of! But I do love Mozart. I wish I could afford to go to both. Well, the first one is being paid for by my mom for an early birthday present. I wish I could see both. Oh well, back to being happy about seeing the one!

A Night at the Opera

In October, Mom and I are going to see Don Giovanni for buy one, get one free! YAY!!! I like that opera; I've only seen it on YouTube though! a Tuesday night. Should be fun. I may have to wear a dress or something. I hope I have one appropriate. If not, dress pants. Something will work. It's only a Tuesday. I hope we don't have pool that night: I'll be skipping, if so.

Music Review

Read it for yourself

Argh, my teeth!

I am obsessing about my teeth: They're so brown! I just had them cleaned six months ago, but I'm kind of mad at the hygienist because she didn't scrape all of them. It's like she spot-scraped them or something. I go back in about three weeks. I'm going to ask what she can do to make them whiter. My teeth have always been white; I don't want brown teeth. Grrr. It doesn't help that I drink so much coffee either...or red wine...or dark chocolate...

Job Descriptions

When a job description says something like, "great opportunity for recent grad or person 1-2 years out of school"....doesn't that sound like ageism? Like, 'we're not going to consider you if you're not in your 20s.' That's what it sounds like to me.

Last Night's Dreams

Last night I had a dream that I submitted a paper to the NSA for a free trip to Israel (if I won). And my competition from grade school was there and said, "Oh, you've never submitted before?!" Then I had a dream that I tried on my swimsuit at my mom's place, and it fit. I then fell asleep on her couch. That may happen in real life on Friday....only it probably won't fit. Then I also woke up in the middle of the night with this dire need to write down the words (well, one word; the other I don't think is a word) "inimunible familiarity." I don't know what got in my head but I liked the way the syllables were accented on 1st, 3rd, and 5th syllables in the first word, and 2nd and 4th and 6th in the second word. Dork.

My made-up joke that's horrible

This week, I heard the line, "How many motorcycles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" I came up with the answer, "a wheelie wheelie lot." and, I'm out!

update

I just talked to my dad on the phone. He's back from Alaska, and tomorrow he goes to the hospital for them to see what to do next and what happened. They think he did not have a heart attack, but most likely has a blocked artery. He's not in pain and sounds good. My parents are both so brave. I don't know what happened to me. So, he doesn't want me to visit in the hospital; wait until after the procedure has been done. So, I think tomorrow they're putting a camera in to assess what happened, and then they'll either have him stay, or come back the next day. I Forgot to ask what they're going to do, but probably a stent. So, it'll be nice when it's over and he's okay. I love him so much. He made me feel better about it.

Hi.

I'm drinking at 4:30! (one beer so far.. of a pumpkin flavor).

oh yeah, rain day!

It better still be raining when I have to go out later! But for now, I love hearing the pitter patter!

Cautious Phew

Yesterday my brother called to say that while on their Alaskan cruise, my dad may have had a small heart attack. Today he was to be flown into a hospital in Anchorage. So tonight I FINALLY got a message saying that it wasn't a heart attack, but maybe angina. Phew! I mean, it may still be serious; I don't know too much information, but at least it wasn't a heart attack! I was pretty scared.

dumb bell

I'm so sick of passwords; they're getting out of control! I tried applying for a job at a place I've already applied...so I already have a password. I can't remember it. So I ask them to send it to me. they ask me for the answer to a security question. I try to be so smart with my security questions that I can't remember the answer to that either. I guess I'm not applying for that job after all. ugh!

Exercises in case I ever feel motivated

7 minutes of exercise

John Oliver

It's almost time for This Week Tonight....actually, I can't remember the name of the show to save my life, but you know, the John Oliver Show. I think it's on at 11; it's Tivoed always, so I don't always catch it live. It's a great show and has been getting accolades, as well it should.

Wisdom

I talked to my dad today, and he asked what was going on. I said that I'm still looking for a stupid job. He said, "well how about applying for one that isn't stupid?" Now there's an idea I can get behind. I just am not sure where to look. Any ideas?

Figures!

Oh sure, the one night I go out by myself, I don't even see my friend! ugh! Hopefully, soon!

Saturday

I went with Jenny to have her oldest cat Nietzsche put to sleep. She was 20! Poor thing. That was no fun. I think it helped to have me there a little. I hope so. I knew Nietzsche for pretty much her whole life too. She was a good cat.

Fiddler on the Roof

Mom and I went to see a dress rehearsal of Fiddler on the Roof at some theatre on Northwestern's campus. It was good, but wow, was that an old crowd! A sea of white hair and walkers. The ladies behind us kept saying what was going to happen in the next scene in very loud voices. 'IT'S A DREAM.' IT'S A SEWING MACHINE.' HERE'S A COUGH DROP.' so not the hippest day, but still fun.

Something I've Learned

It's kind of awkward when someone offers to help you with something, and they don't do it. Then you're put in the position of either foregoing the help that you never would have wanted, had they not mentioned it, but since they did mention, now you do want...OR...finding a way of asking them about it without feeling totally rude. Do you ask for status like you're at work? Do you passive-aggressively make some comment? So far, in two instances where this has happened, I've basically not said anything. Well, in the first instance I said something about when can you send, or something like that? And they said, Oh, I thought I did that; I'll do it. Never done. Then the other one, I haven't heard anything yet, and am debating whether or not to send an email. So far I haven't done anything. I appreciate the gesture of wanting to help me, but it's a pet peeve, kind of, when people don't follow through.

Nap dream

I took a nap and had a dream that I asked my dad "Does losing weight make your face look less ugly?" and my brother asked, "Nicole, did you brush your hair?" Someone's having esteem issues.

Kolbe A Index Results

Kolbe Results, simplified

What to do with my life?

Argh, I'm so confused! The job search pisses me off because none of the jobs are things I want to do, and the salaries are $10,000 less than I made at my last job. I really want to be in school toward a graduate degree, since that's the only way, seemingly, that I'll ever move closer to having a career rather than a job. I had always thought I wanted to get a PsyD degree (doctorate in clinical psychology), but my sister-in-law has that, and she mentioned that for the amount of school and money, it might be a better choice to get an MSW. Hourly rates are supposedly not that much less with an MSW than with a PsyD. But now that I'm doing a little research online (maybe that can't be trusted?), it's listing salaries with an MSW at less than $50,000. That's not enough if I spend a bunch of money on school for the degree. Maybe I need to speak with a career counselor or someone in a graduate program; like an advisor. Any suggestions? Comment!

Ravinia

Going to Ravinia tonight with my mom for an outdoor concert was just amazing. Bebel Gilberto was actually the opening act, which surprised me. Then Chucho, who my mom called Choochoo played piano with the Afro-Cuban Messengers. They were great! We had glasses of wine, a lavendar candle, and rented chairs and a table there, oh yeah, and salads.

Phone Interview

well, I bit the bullet, as they say, and went through with the phone interview that I was avoiding. The next step is to decide whether or not it's worth it to go on a 2.5 hour long interview for a $30K job. I'm thinking no. It's so annoying that I'm looking at jobs that pay what I made in the late 90s.

Ravinia!

Mom and I are going Wednesday to see Bebel Gilberto and Chucho Valdes at Ravinia. He's not going to play Rhapsody in Blue, I'm assuming, but that's where I first heard him and liked his version.

Emails

Does anyone know where I can get some P E N. .I. S E N L-A.R.G.E M E N T P...I L L S?? If only someone would email me with some information about this.

why?

So far, I've been blowing off a possible phone interview. Why? Is it my gut? Is my gut wrong? I think it has to do with fear but I"m not sure why. I feel guilty. On another note, I want to go to Ravinia to see Bebel Gilberto and Chucho Valdez; I'm not sure if I"m going to go yet, but I might.

YAY!

The New Duncan Imperials show was totally fun!

Fun Wednesday

I finally went to Revolution Brewing. After going to the new Emporium. The old Emporium is way cooler than the new one. Several poorly lit pool tables with people already on them, some table games, and pinball and that game that's like ice hockey. Foosball? Anyway, lame. But Revolution Brewing was nice. I was hungrier than I thought; I hate the majority of two appetizers. Could have eaten even more!

Boo!

I finally remembered to look up what's going on with the show I used to watch...Family Tree. I really liked that show, and it was done by Christopher Guest. It apparently got cancelled last year after one season of only about eight episodes. That sucks. Stupid Americans who don't watch good shows....grumble grumble. I also looked up what movies Christopher Guest has done, hoping that I could watch a bunch that I assumed I had missed. Nope: I've seen all of them. I hope he does something for me to watch soon.

Stupid job ads

"Are you excellent at making your boss productive" Why should I be in charge of making someone ELSE productive? Screw that.

"Professional III"

I just saw a job posted for "Professional III". HOw stupid. I'm so sick of looking for a job. The good news is that I may get an interview soon at a job where I worked for a while in the past, as an independent contractor. I talked to someone I know who works there, and she let a manager know, who's going to "gently nudge them" to give me an interview. Sweet.

Fuming!

I am STILL thinking about those damn rats! I'm scared to take the garbage out again; what if one runs in front of me, or over my foot or something. EEK! What if they're getting in the building's basement? Oh dear god. THE HUMANITY!!!! Okay, I'll try to take it down a notch. But seriously, my verbal tic is pretty much gone, but seeing those made it come back a little. deep breaths.

Damn City Life!

I just went out to take the garbage out to the alley and saw RATS. I have seen them in the alley in the past, but I contacted my alderman, and she said that it had been taken care of. Now I just see 2 or 3 in the amount of time it takes to get to the alley and back?! I may or may not be being irrational, but I really hate them and resent having to ever see them ESPECIALLY in my OWN alley!!!! Get rid of them!!!! If I had a bee bee gun, I swear I would take them on myself. I am a pacifist, EXCEPT when it comes to dirty varmin (vermin?)

Grrr

I can't sleep. Too many stresses keeping me thinking. I just ate two cookies; maybe that will help. I would read, but I think it's a little late for bright light. I'm back to reading "Doing Our Own Thing: The Degradation of Language and Music, and Why We Should, Like, Care". I was reading it a couple years ago, and then put it down. Now I'm reading it again and really enjoying it. I'll try to put a quote or two on here at some point. It makes me feel dumb in parts; I've had to look up a phrase, and a couple of words. I think the problem with today is it's making us all stupid...even though we have information at our fingertips. Something to think about...good night.

More pressure than writing in school

I am applying for a scholarship that would take $5,000 off my student loans. It involves three essay questions, and I have major writer's block. It's way more stressful than just writing for a grade...this is for MONEY! I already sent what I have so far to my mom and my friend, and they didn't seem too impressed. They seem to think I should have more specifics...like what I'll owe each month, etc. Two of the questions are about my financial situation, and one is like a personal statement. Wish me luck! I don't think I'll know for about three months AFTER I submit, and who knows when I'll be ready to do that. Hopefully soon, but I have until October. But I'll try to have it done in the next couple of days.

nice

I love when people invite me to stuff, or to do stuff. The happiness it gives me makes me feel like a little kid. Ok, dorky.

Fun

I had fun tonight at my first rooftop party. IT was a little scary getting up and down from the roof, but I did well. Seeing the fireworks from every direction was great! Very pretty! Grilled food is always delicious.

YAY!!!

I'm skeptical that I actually measured it correctly, but my blood pressure is down to 121/76. I have no idea why it is so much lower than the last time I measured it--that was a long time ago--maybe I'm that much more relaxed??? I don't know. I'm not really eating well, and I haven't lost weight. That's why I hope it is not an error. But anyway, Hurray!

...you know

hee hee!

I just went out in the pouring down rain. It was so invigorating. I got soaking wet and came inside and had to put on dry, warm pajama pants and t-shirt. I love how rain makes me so giddy.

GRRRR

I can't even get a job at a therapy center part-time. It must be because of my unstable work history. Darn it! I liked that place.

Hotel Insomniac

Whoa, I have some major insomnia tonight/this morning. I don't know why I feel pretty darn awake, considering...I think there are too many thoughts going through my mind.

News...huh?

I don't really understand the whole story about Obama's recess appointments to the National Labor Relations Board. I read the words, and I just kind of don't get it. I don't know what my problem is. I want to say that Boehner is an asshole for suing Obama, but I can't really back it up (even though I'm most likely right; he is an asshole).

brushing my teeth

sometimes brushing my teeth is so boring, that I make up songs or hum songs while brushing. Today I made one up that goes, "I'm gonna eat a vegetarian. I'm gonna eat a vegan tooooo. I'm gonna eat a vegetarian. Then I'm gonna be a carnivore!" addition: (or make it "then I'll make a carnivore stew")

Missing someone

In the spirit of privacy, I should probably not write someone's name here, but there is someone whom I have been missing lately. I have not seen him in a while and way less regularly than I used to. Grr. I'll have to change that.

Googley Doodles

I really have no interest in the World Cup,but I love the Google Doodles each day for it.

Cautiously Optimistic

I had a good interview today. Part-time position at a therapy center.

Dad and Me on 06/17/14

Caleb

I saw Caleb one last time before he left back for Cleveland. His quote from tonight which I thought was so funny: "I feel like a dog reading Ulysses."

Nice Weekend

Friday night I went out by myself and read at one bar, and met a girl named Lauren at another bar. Saturday was perfect weather outside, and then at night I got together with Caleb who is in town from Cleveland. That was a lot of fun; we just went for pizza and malts and took a long drive. Then this morning, I got together with my mom for breakfast. Dad had to reschedule getting together for Father's Day; that's Tuesday. Mom had a great idea for Father's Day. Since I can't afford to buy anything, write a list of qualities I learned from Dad...or something similar to that. It's a little syrupy, but who knows; he'd probably appreciate it. Oh and I have a phone interview tomorrow for a part-time position in a therapy office.

Made-up Jokes

When I was about 9 years old, I made up a joke that was something like: What is a pig's favorite vegetable? Brussel snouts! Yesterday and today, I've been trying to make up jokes about elephants. Here is one I came up with: What do you call it when a girl named Ella writes? Ella-font! (is Ellie-font funnier?) The really bad one I came up with yesterday was: How does an elephant listen? Elephantatically. (like, instead of emphatically). and What does an elephant do when a story is too long? He truncates it. What is YOUR joke?

job search ugh

There is no reason for a job description for an administrative assistant to be 14 paragraphs long. I don't think there is any job that would warrant that long of a description. Come on, people! Also, while I was on the phone talking my mom through an issue she was having, I missed a possible job. I got an email about a job from 5-9 tonight, and by the time I got back to them, it had already been filled. Damn. I really need to go back to school, get a master's degree, and then look for totally different types of jobs. Otherwise, I"m never going to be able to pay back my student loans, which is really stressing me out right now.

Heebie Jeebies!

A silverfish had the audacity to climb up my arm while I was relaxing watching Thor. UNCOOL! It scared the hell out of me, and worse yet, I DON"T KNOW WHERE IT WENT!!!

job search

The Onion is hiring. I applied. I have experience...We'll see. I hope they don't frown upon my resume being submitted at 1:00 a.m. on a Saturday night/Sunday morning.

The Elusive Job Search

This is ridiculous. I think I need to start looking for some different types of jobs. I just don't know what. I think I'm in need of a career counselor. Maybe DePaul has one I could talk to. When I got laid off from the Sun-Times, they provided someone to talk to about resume advice and job search advice. I think I would have benefited more from that service later rather than right away. Like now. Now would be helpful. But I think the idea was to get you back in the workforce sooner rather than later. Ugh, I'm a mess.

PooL

Tomorrow is pool championship or whatever it's called. It should be all kinds of annoying. Maybe because it's at night, it won't be so crowded and irritating. Here's to hoping! I should probably practice or something. Hm, maybe tomorrow: we'll see.

Meditation: Do it

" This Week's Tip To strengthen your heart, just say ""Om"" There is ample research on how meditation can help reduce stress, which helps the heart stay healthy. In a recent study that followed about 200 patients for an average of five years, researchers found that high-risk patients who practiced Transcendental Meditation (where you sit quietly and silently repeat a mantra) cut their risk of heart attack, stroke and death from all causes almost in half compared with a group of similar patients who did not meditate. In addition, the group that meditated tended to remain disease-free longer, reduced their blood pressure and had lower stress levels. Researchers hypothesize that some of the benefits of meditation come from stress reduction, which causes a reduction of the stress hormone cortisol and dampens the inflammatory processes associated with atherosclerosis or the hardening of the arteries. While the research focuses on Transcendental Meditation, there are a variety of ways to meditate including walking meditation, guided meditation via a CD or simply sitting and listening to the sounds around you. Starting out with just five minutes a day of quiet time with your thoughts can yield big results."

Old Notes of Boredom While at a Temp Job

In an effort to clean out two purses so that I could throw them away, I came across old receipts from 2001, a cashier's check for Commonwealth Edison, a movie ticket to My Dinner With Andre in 1999, an itinerary for my trip to Europe in 2001, and some dumb writing I did in 2000.

From the year 2000, notes I took while apparently very bored at a job. I think I was temping as a receptionist.

"1. Why are the smallest bugs the hardest to kill?
Question of the day: Why is there something rather than nothing? AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH
Answer: how the fuck should I know?

Maybe NOTHING is impossible. As a matter of fact, does "nothing" even exist? I'll look it up in a minute, but I THINK "nothing" means the absence of anything.

Relevant definitions:
Nothing: not anything; absence of anything perceptible; one having no existence; having no quantitative value (zero)

Nothingness: unoccupied space: emptiness.

When does NOTHING exist?
is air anything?
Has air ever not existed?
If air counts as "anything," and air has always existed, then nothing has never existed; or rather, there has always been something instead of nothing.

So maybe by "something", you mean something more than air. Well, air is made out of what? (nitrogen and oxygen)
atoms-->elements-->air

Is there anything that is NOT made out of atoms?
I don't think so.
So...now it gets tricky!
What's the word I'm thinking of? Morph??

Morphology: studying the structure of living organisms.

So, atoms are constantly moving, right? And the structure of things can change, right? (Probably based on the movement of the atoms). So, out of one thing, e.g. air, could come another thing, right? That's what I'm thinking of as Morphing or whatever that word is. The structure of things changes, which produces new things, and so on, etc. That's how "something" came to be.

FUCK IT, I DON'T KNOW. AHHH.

Everything is in a constant state of motion. With motion comes change. With change, comes the existence of new things.

Big bang theory: the universe originated billions of years ago in a violent eruption from a single point of high density and temperature. (Find out why)

Evolution: existing species of plants and animals have developed from previously existing species through a process of gradual change. (Darwinism comes later)....develop through natural selection.

I don't know what to write I don't know what to write, I don't know what to write. What to write? What to write? What to write? What to write? What to write?....

9:24 a.m. June 27, 2000
I don't think I feel like writing. I wish I was younger than 27. I wish I had never gained weight. I REALLY wish I brought a book. I wish I already had my degree. I wish I had money so I could buy a book and lunch and pay rent, gas, electric, phone. I wish this computer wasn't locked.

Hm. 9:28.

JOKES:
NONE. Oops. Just turned on radio full-blast!
Candy is calling. 'Nicooooolllle.' "Nniiccooollllleeeeee" "Look at us. Just look. Do it. DO IT!" 9:41!! WOO HOO
Look, a desk. There's a phone, it's black, there's papers, a computer. OK...at lunch, I will cash my check, and BUY a fucking BOOK! Maybe I can finish it by tomorrow. OOOOh, I SURE do hope so.
And tomorrow, I'll bring MacBible.
This is really good, in some ways, that I can't use the computer. More in touch with myself? Something like that.
It should be cathartic to have nothing to do all day...right? WRITE! Rrrrriiiiiggghhhhtt.

I should go play pool after work. Because I'M on a pool league (alternate, but still!)

How to upgrade to power pc.

Stuff to look for:
dresser, desk, pool cue, phone

Try to get job doing word processing or something I can do from home at night.

Good Words:

usufruct: law. The right to utilize and enjoy the profits and advantages of something, as property, belonging to another.

Mordacious-->sarcastic-->caustic

Aphorism: brief statement of truth.

Bibulous: Given to, or marked by drinking alcoholic beverages

Pretentious: Making claims of excellence. --extravagantly showy

Pedantic: Narrow concern for book learning and formal rules.

Sophomoric: immature and ill-informed, yet overly confident.

Prosaic: literal, ordinary, lacking in imagination.

Hubris: arrogance.

Recommendations
Merril Lynch, Chase, Prudential
14
8
__
1120
-300
____
820
(and a few more calculation) My guess is that I was figuring out what I would make at that job.

New Stuff

I finally got a new office chair...I'm not sure if I should have gotten the smaller one. But it was on sale: Mom was nice enough to buy it for me, plus new gym shoes and a few tops, and a purse. So nice. I have to help her with her computer and moving furniture around in her living room. It's a small price to pay. Now I'm just listening to Hank Mobley and drinking a glass of red wine. I'm Content.

Maya Angelou

It's sad that Maya Angelou died today. She was old and in poor health, so it's not that shocking, but still sad. I got updates from her on Facebook, so it's kind of weird that there will be no more. I was just thinking yesterday how she'll probably die soon. Yikes.

Dad's Birthday Celebration

We went out for dinner for Dad's 80th (!) birthday yesterday. It was nice. I need to get together with him soon too though because we didn't really get to talk--too many people. On an unrelated note, I need to get over my fear about stuff (job)

H.R. Giger

Sad news about H.R. Giger dying. He was youngish.

Tomorrow is Dad's 80th Birthday!!

I love this picture of Dad in the yellow, Uncle Dick next to him, Aunt Marie behind him, and Uncle John and Aunt Sandy behind Dad. May, 2014

Funny

I agree; people using this word has bothered me for at least a couple years now. I first noticed it when Paris Hilton said it on some talk show. ugh. "Blessed"

A 3-hour nap!

I just woke up. I started having sad thoughts and decided to get up. I had a great day with my mom. We enjoyed just talking so much that we didn't even get around to me helping her with her computer issues. We went out for Moroccan chicken salad. It's so good; it has spiced chicken, and sweet potatoes, beets, some sort of nut, I think dates or something. It's really good. The dirty dishes are yelling at me. I'm trying to not listen, but I know I have to contend with them. Grumph! I just made up that word; do you like it?

Not very productive

I slept for most of the day; I did not wash the dishes (which were WAY piled up), and I didn't shower. However, I did tackle the laundry stacked up on my chair (I didn't get through all of it, but some of it), and I washed a few pieces of clothing in the sink. I'm working on not discounting things that I accomplish.

What is up with my face?!

This was the second night in a row that I drank, AND I noticed the left side of my face got like a rash on it or something. It turned all red and speckly. I wonder if I'm allergic to something or what. I'll have to keep an eye on that. Maybe I should go the dermatologist. Not yet. We'll see what happens.

Procrastination

I feel kind of guilty because I rescheduled my physical and mammogram for six months down the road. Hopefully, I'll have more money by then for co-pays and what not. I hope that's okay.

A Meager Attempt

I realized late in the day that it's Earth Day. All I did was turn off the light. Now it's really dark in here. Hmm, I wonder if there's anything else I can do.

April Showers Bring May Flowers

I think it might actually be spring now!

To Watch: (recommendations)

Spy Game Of Mice and Men

Tomorrow

Tomorrow I have a temp assignment that will consist of stuffing envelopes: wow, how fun!?

No Makeup

If I put on any make-up at all (practically none by my mom's standards), SOMEONE carries on and says I looks like "a corpse" or a "cheap Russian doll". I only wear a little sometimes for going to a family gathering or to an interview, but I don't want to look stupid; I don't want it to be noticeable at all. ugh.

Passover Seder

About two hours until I get to eat. I'm starving already! I hope there's brisket! Oh, and it'll be nice to see everyone too! :)

A Day of Fails

Someone was supposed to come over to pick something up: didn't happen. I was supposed to have a phone screen for a 2-month job starting Monday: didn't happen. Then I was supposed to work some place from 12-5 today. I got there and they said they didn't need me. didn't happen. So annoying! and I don't know WHAT I just ate...apparently a pepper of some sort. I didn't realize there was one in my forkful of food. So hot that I was crying and I had to down a glass of milk, a spoonful of white rice, and a bowl of ice cream to make my tongue stop burning. It still kind of burns. What the hell?

Lead

I have a job lead for a long-term temp position as a proofreader. I don't know what it pays or where it is yet, but they apparently are interested. YAY!

Today was a wash

Wow, yesterday was so productive and fun. Today: not so much. Don't even ASK what time I woke up! The day has consisted of drinking coffee and surfing online. That's it. I haven't even brushed my teeth yet. I don't know what I'm going to have for dinner; I don't think there's much to make; I may order delivery. I don't know what I want though. Tomorrow, I don't know if I'm going to go to pool or not. They're not planning on me playing, so if I go, it'll just be to hang out for a while. If tomorrow is anything like today, I may be itching for a reason to get out of the apartment. Otherwise, I may decide it's not worth it. We'll see.

oh yeah

Oh yeah, and not only did Noah and I play Stratego, but we also went to the driving range.

Nanny

I feel kind of bad taking money for babysitting Noah and Zoe, but hey, it pays better than some of the temp jobs I've been taking! Today was fun: we went bike-riding and out for ice cream, and Noah and I played Stratego for all of about 5 minutes.

sick of it

I am sick of hearing people say that things are "sick!" Grr.

OUT!!!

I'm back home, but I don't want to be home. I want to go OUT! PLAAAAY!!

hair!

I got my hair cut and colored today, and I think it's too dark! I told her to keep it closer to my natural hair color, but it's really dark. she said my hair is even darker than that! I can't imagine; it must have gotten darker over time. I hope I get used to it.

"I'M LOSING MY PERSPICACITY"

Thank you, Lisa Simpson. But seriously, I do feel like I've lost my ability to learn. and read. I was always a good reader, but now I feel like I don't retain any of it. Same thing if someone teaches me something: it's in one ear, out the other. At the place I was/am temping, they told me what they do. Do I remember? Not really. Even when watching tv shows that flash information about what they're talking about, I'm obsessed with reading it quickly enough, and sometimes I feel like I barely get through it before it goes away. I think I'm just overly conscious about this stuff lately.

Go To BEd!

It's time for bEd! Go to bed! I had fun tonight and won, which is always a good thing! It was nice to see my 'special friend'!

Waiting, ARGH

I'm waiting to leave to meet Jenny for pie. I hate waiting. I still have....half an hour before I can leave. Maybe I'm just bored. I don't feel like doing anything on the computer; I don't feel like watching tv, and I certainly don't feel like cleaning.

Rejection!

I just got a rejection letter within ten minutes of applying for a job online. Wow; that's a new record.

Home Alone

That Onion article that talks about the way people behave when they're home alone is spot-on. I am in a silly mood just randomly spinning around on my chair, making weird noises, and singing Mama Mia. What the...?!

Ew!

I really shouldn't have opened the mini blinds in the office: now I can see how dusty they are. Yuck!

too much time for thinking!

Today's interview is at 2:30. That leaves a lot of time for worrying. I don't want to go because of...well, I can concoct several reasons, but I know to go. I'm just concerned that it's going to be NO money at all if I get the job. But I guess that's getting ahead of myself. It looks like they have good benefits. I hate reading up on companies before interviews. I feel dumb because a lot of the time after reading their websites, I still have no idea what they do! I don't want to wear a suit, so I'm going to wear nice pants and a sweater; I hope that's okay. I hope my pants button today!

Done.

Well, today's work is done, and I'm back home. That was fast. Now I wait to hear when they need me again. It may go permanent (gotta see Haiku Tunnel), but I just asked the agency if I could get more money; It's such a pittance. Pathetic pittance. But yAY for any money!!

Lazy

Wow, what a lazy weekend. I'm kind of loving it though. One day of work: whoo, I'm beat. I go back Monday....if I can get up to the floor that is. You need a card for the elevator, which I don't have. And another temp is the only person who's going to be there. I hope I'll be able to get a hold of her. It's a tiny office; I like just working with one person. The two partners seem to show up now and then (well, I've only met one so far). The work is going to destroy my eyes. It is proofreading, but not what I expected. Proofreading for correct data, not for grammatical and spelling errors; that's what I was expecting. Okay, back to not thinking about work. I stayed in bed until 5 today. What is wrong with me?! So now I'm having breakfast: peanut butter Cheerios (which are awesome, by the way), and coffee from the French press. Have a good weekend, all you non-existent readers. I might as well say, bye for now, diary. Or bye for now, Nicole.

I got a temp job!

I'm starting a temp job today; today may be the only day, or it may continue. Crap pay, but better than nothing. Doing proofreading. Wish me luck!

Cautious optimism

Hurray that I had an interview today with a new temp agency. They were very nice, and I Feel good that they may find something for me. It may be temp, but still. AND I got in touch with another temp agency that I've worked with fairly recently, but I haven't heard from them in a while. It turns out that I was inactive in their system. So I heard from someone new who made me active and thanked me for letting her know I'm still looking. So it's almost like I had two interviews today because there are two places looking for me that were not previously (and I thought they were!) Next interview: Tuesday.

Two interviews

interview at a temp agency tomorrow, and at another place Tuesday.

How?

How did I go for so long without watching "Between Two Ferns"? I feel so dumb. It's so funny. I'm making up for lost time now. So far, I like the Bruce Willis one best. I think he's pretty much doing something similar to Glick, and it's no where near as good as that, but it's still funny. Now I wanna watch Glick. I need to find that DVD; well, I'll watch more of these first.

SAD

I saw a dead cat outside of Chipotle today. The image keeps creeping into my head. It's So sad.

Mom, Eric, and I sometime in the early 90s at the Shapiros' house

Lazy Sunday

I just woke up at 4:30 today. ugh!

Girl Scout Cookies!

They have arrived with Zoe. Now I just have to find a time to go get them and pay for them. Maybe Saturday...I also have to figure out whether or not to go to see Flamenco guitar with mom that night. It's a $15 cover charge, which I don't really want to pay, but it also sounds fun...

squeeeeaaaak

love love love

Vocabulary

"abnegation Use Abnegation in a sentence ab·ne·ga·tion [ab-ni-gey-shuhn] Show IPA noun 1. the act or an instance of abnegating, or denying oneself some rights, conveniences, etc.: It was a time of austerity and abnegation. 2. the act of reliquishing or giving up a right, possession, etc.: abnegation of parental responsibilities." from Dictionary.com

special friend

I am missing my special friend tonight.

Perception: TED Talk

productivity

I finally called and made an appointment to have my teeth cleaned. I'm embarrassed to say that it's been a few years. Yick! I think three years? Anyway, next week. Hurray. and It's nice to have a new toothbrush too. Wow, pretty thrilling right?

Productivity and the Opera

I was productive today, and that feels good. The Lyric Opera is offering $39 tickets to Wednesday's performance of La Clemenza di Tito. I've never heard of it, but it's Mozart. My mom doesn't want to go. If I can find someone to go with, maybe I'll go, but most likely, I won't. I'll even have $20 for going to help mom with computer stuff tomorrow.

What am I doing?!

What's Eric doing with MY elephant?!

Coriolanus

How I'm spending tomorrow early afternoon: Coriolanus

An Old Picture

This is me with Amy...Jill's sister. I really like this picture of us. We used to call each other sisters in law. She took herself out of communication with the family, but I really miss her sometimes. This was sometime probably in the mid-90s.

Old Family Pictures

I'm having such a good time looking at old pictures. Here's one of my Grandma Parker teaching me to knit!

About 11 years ago

Dad, me, Eric, and Noah!

Dumb Bumper Stickers

Why are so many people so proud of being part of "the 99 percent"? You're driving a mini-van in my neighborhood; I could have guessed that you're part of the 99 percent. I would be proud to be part of the 1 percent....why is it such a bad thing that people have to say they're part of the majority. I'm just waiting to see a bumper sticker that says they're part of the 1 percent. That would be funny, as opposed to just obvious.

Funny

My niece is emailing back and forth with me. It's 11:00 p.m.! She's a night owl like me! I don't know if I'm being naughty for encouraging her to be up so late.

Morning people are the worst!

My friend and I are going to see a movie of a play on Sunday: it starts at 11:30 a.m. She says she will pick me up at 8:30 a.m. Are you kidding me?! That's just so wrong!!

And...

and then I asked Zoe how their new nanny Mercedes is. She said "good. Very nice car." lol.

Kids These Days

My 9-year old niece Zoe went to her second opera this past Sunday. She saw the Barber of Seville. I just emailed her asking how it was, and she said, "Good. It was lol funny." I love that she loves the opera at 9. So cool.

pajama day!

I wonder if I'll go outside at all today. If not, I'm just staying in my pajamas.

take that!

I lost at pool tonight, but it doesn't matter; I had so much friend. I'm so glad at who showed up; it made such a big difference in my night. p.s. I just read this before posting, and saw my freudian slip. I had so much friend. haha.

6 p.m.

The Bill Nye vs. Ken Ham Creationism vs. Evolution debate. Get ready for your head to explode.

Vegan

Toying with veganism again: started Saturday February 1st. I don't know what I'll be able to eat at my brother's tomorrow and Thursday: hopefully, they'll have some stuff.

Damn!

Is it obsessive to want to call back and leave another voicemail for someone explaining that I misused a word? I just left a rambling voicemail (always do that!) and for some reason suddenly just used a word I've never used before. After I hung up, I looked it up to see if I used it correctly: I did not. I really have an urge to call back and apologize or explain, but I am resisting because I think that would be crazy. The word in question is "Devolve".

Last night

I won at pool against another 4 skill level. Even though I don't like playing my own handicap because it's hard, I won, so I feel good. The best part of the night was a coach where he said, "You're better than him, so just shoot, and you'll win." haha. I also got Thai food to bring home for dinner afterward. So, it was a good night; I was more social than I am a lot of times. I still miss seeing my special friend on Thursdays, or in general. Hopefully, soon!

Kind of a relief..

Oh good, I don't have to take the bus to the train to go to my brother's today; they worked something else out. Nice.

tomorrow

I guess I'm working tomorrow too. Also, I talked to my dad today, which was nice. We will get together when the weather warms up a little.

Good recommendation

I am so glad that I heard about Grooveshark. I still use it, and it's pretty much curtailed my use of ITunes,I like it so much. It's just nice to be able to look up any old song. Although it would be nice to own the songs so that I could burn them to a cd if I wanted to.

This week

Tomorrow, Wednesday, and Thursday I nanny...I'm a little worried about getting there tomorrow; the car is somewhat buried in snow. I hope I can get out. Tuesday I may have an appointment; I need to double-check. Wednesday I take mom for a shot at the hospital very early. I hope she'll be okay; I'm a little worried about leaving her home afterward...and keep looking for jobs with new found hope after I almost got a job. I never did hear back about how I could have been a more attractive candidate. Maybe it was inappropriate to ask, but I don't think so. OH, and I need to call my dad back: I think I'll do that tomorrow from Eric's. I thought about going out tonight, but probably won't.

A stupid guilty pleasure

It's really lame, but I enjoy all the stupid quizzes you can take on BuzzFeed. The latest one I just took was What Decade Do You Belong In? Mine came out the 1920s. Wow, I guess I'm a little behind the times. I think the main reason it chose that is because for "Pick a slang word", I chose "Hotsy Totsy." Way better than all the lame slang words!

LOOOOOser!

Would you believe that I did not get the job? So disappointing. I was looking forward to money coming in! I really thought I had it.

if

If I get the new job, I will be working right now. It will be so hard to work nights.

Quote from Throw Momma From the Train

"I have writer's block." "Everywhere??"

another con to possible job

Days off: Tuesday and Wednesday.

"Interview" went well.

Pros: Everyone wears jeans. They have cappuccinos, lattes, and flavored syrups. I wouldn't have to wake up early in the morning for work. Game room with a small pool table (very small). Nice bathroom. Cons: Salary sucks. Working until between 1 and 2 a.m. sucks. No cubicles. More pros than cons, but the cons are pretty bad. I should know within about a week. I also emailed them saying I'd like to be considered for any other job openings, as well (I overheard something about hiring a different position and thought that might be more money. Since I'm overqualified for this position, I figured it couldn't hurt to express interest in everything.)

Eek

I'm nervous about tomorrow: I'm going to my interview, which is a 4-hour-long group interview. I have no idea what to expect, but I'm nervous. I'm nervous if I get the job too because of the dumb hours. If I get the job, I will no longer have nights or weekends free. When will I play?? I guess I should get a couple days off, but it's probably something stupid where everyone else is working, and it's mid-week, and I'll be like, 'let's go have fun!' Whatever...one thing at a time.

Group Interview

I have a group interview (whatever that means) at GrubHub Thursday. The only concern is they want someone to work til 1 or 2 in the morning and weekends and holidays. I'm not sure about the safety of working so late. I need to think about that. I told her I'm interested, which is how I got the second interview, but I still have doubts. Should I not have said I'm interested? No...I need a job. But crap, I just remembered I'm supposed to sit for Noah and Zoe on Thursday. Hmm. I need to do some thinking and planning.

Chess

I'm trying to play chess online to get better, but my rank is so bad that nobody will play me! I feel so rejected...only slightly. I assume my rank is why nobody is accepting my game requests.

meh

I read Chekhov's Uncle Vanya, and it was a bit of a downer, so now I'm going to start Ivanoff. Also, related to the jazz musicians I posted to try listening to: I pretty much like all of them! It works so well to try new artists based on the suggestions of artists you already like. I like Hank Mobley, I read some names of musicians who inspired him, and I like them. I like Henry Miller, I read some of the authors he liked, and I pretty much like them too. Same with Bob Dylan's influences (I have a cd). Fun stuff.

Insomnia

I must have slept too late today (well, I know I did) because now I can't sleep. So I'm eating ice cream. Not the smartest choice, but whatever, I don't have chocolate milk, which is my usual go-to when I can't sleep.

Thought

This might be dumb, or obvious, or just me, but I think people would feel better if they had someone to talk to who felt similarly. I think the hard part of feeling less than great is the feeling of isolation that it brings with it.

phone interview

I got a phone interview with GrubHub...probably because I'm listed as a VIP customer!

Quote

I like this line from Uncle Vanya: "You must trust people, or life becomes impossible."

milquetoast

I just learned that a) I didn't really know what milquetoast meant (I was close, but still off), and b) I learned the origin of the word. It basically means someone who is timid, unassertive person, and its origin is a character named Caspar Milquetoast in an old comic strip called The Timid Soul. That's cool.

Chekhov

I left "Lamb" in the car, so I'm starting to read Uncle Vanya instead. It's a play, so it should be fairly short.

Recipe for Asian Chicken Salad

1/4 cup fresh lime juice (from 3 limes) 2 teaspoons soy sauce 1 jalapeno, minced 2 teaspoons vegetable oil 1/2 teaspoon sugar 4 cups shredded red cabbage (about 1/2 medium head) 1 cup shredded carrots (about 2 large) 1 cup lightly packed fresh cilantro leaves 1 cup lightly packed fresh mint leaves 2 cups shredded cooked chicken STEP 1 In a large bowl, whisk together lime juice, soy sauce, jalapeno, oil, and sugar until combined. Add cabbage, carrots, cilantro, mint, and chicken, and toss well to combine. Serve immediately.

Music to Try

Some jazz musicians to listen to and decide if I like: Lester Young, Dexter Gordon, Don Byas, Sonny Stitt, Clifford Brown, Max Roach, Sonny Rollins, Lee Morgan

Snow Day!

Pool is canceled tonight due to snow. I wish it was still snowing; it's so pretty. I'd much prefer snow to the yucky cold temperatures we're supposed to have next week. I"m going to be in hiding then.

vocabulary

Dilettante: Dabbler ("a person who takes up an art, activity, or subject merely for amusement, especially in a desultory or superficial way; dabbler. 2. a lover of an art or science, especially of a fine art.) from Dictionary.com