Sometimes I do nervous tics when I am angry. Sometimes when I feel like I'm being treated unfairly. Sometimes when I feel guilty. Sometimes when I feel like I'm being squelched and can't say how I feel and be accepted. Sometimes it's when I sense tension or anger around me.
I do not do nervous tics when I am focused on a task. I do not do nervous tics when I'm in an environment where I am comfortable. I do not do this when I'm having a conversation I enjoy. I do not do this when I am relaxed and people around me are relaxed.
I think.....
Right now I feel a little wounded like I need to cry, but I don't want to, so I'm going to stop thinking about this right now.
Okay, not quite. I'm still thinking about me while I read. I can't stand waiting for discomfort to go away. It's like I can't focus on anything else. This is part of why I hate arguments...I will do almost anything just to stop someone from being angry (or sad or disappointed or other negative emotions..especially if they're because of me). As my friend put it, it's really annoying that while someone is mad at me for something I've done, I am asking for reassurance that they will get over it and we'll be okay (i.e. they won't leave me forever; we'll still be friends or whatever). She says that of course we'll be okay and she'll get over it, but don't ask while she's upset. Okay going to try to move on...again...
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