Possible Reason

So...I have never been successful at making friends. People generally need to want to be my friend and initiate in order for a successful relationship of any kind to form. Maybe that is because I have trouble with boundaries. Do I? I try not to, and I often feel like it's not my issue, but other people's issue, but I'm sure a fair amount of the time, maybe it's my issue. Hmm, for example: I think I'm getting closer with a person or with a group, and so I get comfortable and treat them like my friends instead of being on guard. I maybe open up a little (or maybe it's not that: maybe it's still being uncomfortable, and therefore, trying too hard, and therefore, making people uncomfortable). Then, I cross a line and act a little too..whatever the case may be...others seem uncomfortable, or I get uncomfortable thinking they're uncomfortable, and then I back off again and get more insecure because I don't feel liked and I feel like I failed. It's confusing, and I'm just trying to sort it out. It's like, how can I trust people or a person if we seem to be getting to know each other more, and I open up, and then they aren't receptive? That makes me unable to trust that we're getting closer because when I try to get closer, I'm kind of rejected. Just something for me to think about..
When does it become appropriate to do various things? Why on earth do I feel so socially inept? People like me, so why do I have so much trouble? I know I often want too much too quickly, and I know that sometimes I have a tough time letting things progress naturally, and I tend to push them unnaturally (not on purpose), and so those are parts of my problem.

But wait...there's more! So, it's relatively likely that this is as much other people's issues as it is mine. I love to get close to people whom I deem worthy (that sounds obnoxious, but you know what I mean), but I know a lot of people have a really hard time trusting people and getting close to people. But if someone is a good person, trustworthy, and eager to be a closer friend, who wouldn't want that? Why? If only people responded on this blog so that all my questions were not rhetorical. So, it's either that people don't want to get close to anyone (very easily), or they don't want to get close to ME. If it's the latter, it must mean that there's something wrong or undesirable (more than others) about me.

Like tonight, (last night now, I suppose) four of us were all joking around, and I made a somewhat risque comment, and everyone got all uncomfortable and stopped talking, and then spent the rest of the night kind of making fun of/teasing me about my comment, and how it's fun to watch me sweat, or however they worded my discomfort so flippantly. Isn't that hurtful? And then, stupid me, I tried to send a message to another friend who is only becoming more of a friend, just like them, I guess, and so it was a double-wammy of rejection because I probably made that person uncomfortable too.