Time Flies

I hope my friend, whom I haven't seen in forever, is doing well and had a happy birthday yesterday.

News

I get sad and frustrated listening to the news nowadays. Everything is just going to hell.

hair!

I got my hair cut, and I think I had her thin it a little too much! It looks flat! Oh no! I mean, I like when my hair looks a LITTLE flat, as opposed to puffy, but I think I went a little crazy. She even said, "I think I thinned it enough", but OH NO, Nicole just HAD to have more done! ugh. Now I think I'll have to wash it more because it's going to look greasy quicker.

hurumph

Why would someone not email someone back? It hurts my feelings. Maybe they didn't get the message, but then you don't want to email someone umpteen times in case they DID get the message and are purposely not writing you back. But it leaves you wondering either a) they didn't get the message, or b) they don't want to be my friend. Maybe there is another option, but that's what it seems like to me. But it's weird when that doesn't really add up with the person you know/knew. Like, it doesn't seem like they wouldn't want to talk to me...hmm. and ugh. and waaah.

When?

When will people ever realize that guns need to be outlawed? I know that's an extreme and perhaps idealistic position, but seriously, something extreme needs to be done. Maybe major restrictions is more realistic. I understand (I guess) people wanting guns to either collect or for hunting in Alaska or something, but aside from that, they're only going to be used for nefarious reasons. Oh, right, or to protect oneself. Yeah, like that'll work. What kind of weirdo feels good about the idea of shooting someone? If someone endangers my safety, that sucks, and I would love to think that I could protect myself, but that certainly doesn't mean that I would want to shoot someone. I really wish Obama would do more on gun restriction because I think he's the only presidential option even close to doing something about it. I think he wants to; I just think he's stuck because of political bullshit. Thoughts??

Weight Wait

I gained 4.5 pounds. That stinks!! It felt so good to be losing, but I hadn't weighed myself in at least three weeks, and I've been drinking and eating delivery and bla bla bla. Also, my doctor said that I can not yet go on a second blood pressure medicine IF I start exercising 30 min. a day. Sounds great, but I'm not sure I will do it. I'm not sure what to do; the apartment is so small, and I'm still broke, and now it's cold outside. But I also don't want to be on TWO blood pressure medicines. I'm supposed to keep monitoring it and sending her the readings--like four times a week for a month. She's a really good doctor; I like her a lot. my b.p. is down, but the bottom number is still too high.

What on earth is going on with my eyebrows and expression here?! 11-26-15

A horrible picture of me, and a cute picture of Mom, from Thanksgiving, 2015

Happy Thanksgiving!

gobble gobble!!

Noah Caught a Shark in Mexico! 11-2015

I'm so sick of people

It's so embarrassing that we have one of the governors that wants to block Syrian refugees from coming to our state. What the hell is wrong with people? There is a two-plus year vetting process for refugees, and it's racist to think that there would be more of a problem than with anyone else anyway. This reminds me of all the hate talk that was being spewed after 9/11. Yes, it was a horrific tragedy, but that doesn't make it okay to be racist.

Weight

I'm too scared to weigh myself because, although I lost 14 pounds, since I last weighed myself, I've been eating pretty poorly. Sorry for all the commas in that previous sentence. But yeah, I've had like, french toast, sausage patties, pot roast, about a gazillion beers, half a gazillion glasses of wine, half of a pumpkin pie blizzard, etc etc. So I'm a little scared to weigh myself. I really want to get to 15 so that I can continue losing, not go back up to only 10 pounds, you know?? I have a lot more to lose. But it is nice that I can no longer wear my old jeans in public because they fall down. The ones that were really tight fit comfortably, and my corduroys I can just pull up and down without unzipping and unbuttoning. YAY! Maybe in a couple of days I'll weigh myself. We'll see how I eat in the next couple of days. I should really get back to eating salad and salmon; that was really helping. I'll be drinking tonight though. Last night I had three beers, but they were all 10 oz (smaller than normal). One was made with cucumber! and one was a sour beer with some fruit, I don't remember. It tasted like lemon juice. I forgot what the third one was. That was at Emporium.

Work

Hi Blog! Today went better at work; I think I only had to redo one or two patient notes. I know most people's names now too. Luckily, there was a smaller group today, so it was a little easier to navigate: I hope it stays that way! I'm feeling a little sheepish though because I told them I can't work at a different location Friday, or at that location on Monday.

I Wish

I wish I could get my special friend's input about the job; I'd just love to know what he thought about it all and what I should do. I hope he's doing well too.

oh yeah

I had two nice dreams last night: One was about my friend whom I miss so much because I haven't seen him in a long time! And the other dream was about a bunch of dogs! Funny! nice dreams to wake up to.

Update

Good news: Since I gained weight over a year ago, I have now lost 15 pounds. YAY me!! Less good news: I'm seriously considering quitting the job I took. I get paid $30 a day twice a week, and the commute is far, and it's a lot of stress dealing with the doctors and the patients. I don't mind the actual work, but if I continue, I will change locations, and I will have to gather patients for group. That means going to their bedrooms, and I just don't know if I feel comfortable with that. I wish people could respond; I would like people's thoughts.

I'm already disliking this job

T psychologist I work for actually laughed at the comments I wrote for one of the patients. Not laughing sweetly; laughing AT me. He said, 'you haven't done this before, have you?" NO! I have absolutely no desire to go back on Monday, AND that's my first day without shadowing; I'll be on my own with him. It's going to be a disaster of a day; I just know it. I guess after that, I'll see if I can stand to go back...or if he even wants me to. Oh, and he told me not to use ellipses. Fine. At least there; I use them all the time. I know it's probably a bad habit.

I'm driving myself nuts!

Why am I so freaking nervous about this freaking job?! I'm worrying myself sick. I'm obsessing. I can't sleep, or I sleep way too much. Tuesdays and Thursdays would work better for me, and a different location would be so nice. This one is just icky. Beggars can't be choosers, I guess. I've been out of work for a long time. I'm just obsessing because I have to learn everybody's name, get everybody signed in, take notes about each person, AND the psychologist already talked to me about being too shy...I need to talk to people and be friendly. It was my first day, for crying out loud! And luckily, the girl I'm shadowing is coming back tomorrow, but then Monday, I'm on my own. Total panic. I mean, it's not a hard job; I just need to get comfortable with the names. ugh.

First Day

I made it through my first day as Group Therapy Assistant. I have mixed feelings about it, but it went fine. I shadowed the current assistant, and luckily, now she's going to be there WEdnesday too. Everyone was nice, but I don't know how I'm going to learn people's names and have enough to write about them and have time to write. But luckily, there is another assistant who gathers the people for the group; I thought I was going to have to do that. I have to get over my slight germophobia, I think to work there. The doctor and assistant were both using hand sanitizer. There are drooly people. It's an interesting experience; I just wish also that it paid decently.

Good News!

I finally got a job! It's got plenty of 'but's', BUT...still! Group therapy assistant...part-time. Horrible pay; great experience. I'll take it. It will be working at various nursing homes with the severely mentally ill. I will gather the group participants, and take notes, and maybe participate in some of the groups; that's to be seen. Pretty cool, huH? YAY!

oo oo oooo!!

I got an email about a group therapy position today! I'm so excited to learn more! Maybe I'll get an interview.

Stupid New York Times

I am unable to read any of their articles online right now. They want me to pay for a subscription to read more. I must have gone over the limit. But it's stupid; it's keeping me from reading anything; wouldn't they want the reader? I guess money is more important. I never realized how many of their articles I click on to read (at least in part); it's a real hindrance to be prevented from doing so. I hope come October, I'll be able to read more.

Nostalgia!

Aww, my mom let me know to look online: our old house is on the market. Why does it have to be so expensive? I'd love for my mom to be able to buy it again! The site has 25 pictures; you had to create an account to see all of them; but you're able to create a b.s. account, and it still lets you in. They made the inside so hideous though! It's ALLLLL white! Yuck! It looked much better when we lived in it, even if my mom did paint it like an Easter egg! that's what Jenny used to say anyway, because it was a yellow house with a red door, and my mom painted the inside plum with plum carpet. Believe it or not! But the backyard looks nice, and the front looks nice. house

Physical

I went for my physical today. We'll see how the blood test comes back; I hope it's all okay. Today was pretty uneventful except that she wanted to test me for HIV (Huh?), Hepatitis (Huh?), my liver, and then for normal stuff like Vitamin D, diabetes, etc. She also noticed what she thought was a cyst near my liver; she didn't seem worried about it; she just said it was keeping her from really feeling my liver. She also mentioned considering taking a sleep apnea test...that might be causing my lack of energy during the day. I don't think I'm going to take it yet, but I'll consider it. I don't want to sleep with one of those creepy crazy masks. I guess if it help though, it would be worth it, but neither she nor I was convinced that I have sleep apnea, so, it's just in the thinking phase. Last time I had blood test, the sugar levels were getting close to diabetes, so I'm nervous about that too. Oh, and my blood pressure on the blood pressure medication was better, but the lower number is still really high. I think today it was 124/98, something like that. It used to be the top number that was high. I'm not sure how medication knows which number to target, or maybe it just lowers both. So, she'll probably raise my dose of medication for that. Oh, and she wants me to go for my mammogram: I haven't gone in two years; I'm putting it off. Anyway...Don't I sound old?! ugh! Now I want a drink! Maybe I'll have a sensible glass of wine. Oh, and I have to wash the dishes, which I REALLY don't feel like doing! Can we say "procrastination"??

YAY!

I lost six pounds! that's after having gained weight, but still. The hard part is continuing. I've hardly been eating. That's not the way to do it, but I was sick. and my old swimsuit still doesn't fit. Grr. But still, I'm happy with my progress.

dream

Fruta Ladonga! That's the phrase that was in my dream two nights ago that means "developed woman." I love that phrase: and you say it almost like Klingon, like, fruta laDONGA!!

Crazy Dreams

I just remembered that I had a dream last night that someone was trying to set me up with Wall-E, and I said, 'no, he's for Eva.' I also had a dream that this girl was speaking in a language similar to ours, but different, and I said, 'you must be from a different world.' I woke up with a phrase in the language stuck in my head. I recorded it, but don't have the phone with me. I'll post it on here once I hear it because I forgot the phrase. But I remember that it meant "developed woman." Weiiiird.

I'm not friends with Xoco ANYMORE

Grr, after being all excited about eating Xoco for lunch Friday, it gave me food poisoning that kept me laying around at home all weekend. I'm so sick of being at home!!

XOCO FTW!

Xoco for lunch; yum!!

Do you want your head to explode?

Then read this:

Obama: Part II

Just a couple of hours ago, I finished reading an article criticizing Obama's foreign policy. Now, the same publication, Foreign Affairs, published an article about what Obama has done right regarding foreign policy. here: . I'm not even done with the article yet, but I realize something. I like Obama's ideologies, or his big picture ideas. I've noticed that when there is praise about him, it's about his overarching viewpoints, whereas, when he's criticized, it's about specific instances. I think that's why I'm defensive about him...because I still agree with what he's generally about. Everyone makes mistakes, and politics IS extremely tricky; you can't just do whatever you want. Although, I have to say, I am a little saddened about his allowing Shell to drill for oil in the Arctic. As the Sierra Club stated, it's a little confusing given his past decisions which have been FOR the environment. But even when I disagree with something, I can see how maybe he had to do it, and he usually says something about it being a tough decision, or something similar.

Oh, Siri...

Whenever I talk to Siri, I like to say hi to 'her' before asking my question. It makes me laugh, and 'she' still understands!

Obama

I just read an article from Foreign Affairs that criticized Obama for the way he has handled various things here I read it because I Find Foreign Affairs to be pretty non-partisan, so I figured I Should see what they have to say. I find myself oddly defensive when ANYONE criticizes Obama: even Foreign Affairs. It's a weird reaction on my part that I don't completely understand. I guess I have always liked him and thought he's done an amazing job, so I don't want to hear criticism, especially when there are two sides to everything. I feel like they were just trying to find fault. I don't know.

rainy days

I love the rainy nights, but I do miss my friend; I haven't seen him in forever!

Awww

I forgot about this picture! It's probably two years old by now. Outside of Maggiano's.

Mood

Yo, wuss up, Homies? I felt kind of bad earlier in the day, but I talked to Jenny on the phone, brushed my teeth, made some coffee, went outside and enjoyed the wind, and I feel much better. I'm still overwhelmed with life's obligations, but I'm better.

fake song

i just awoke from a nap with the lyrics, "gather round the old oak tree! gather round the old oak treeee" stuck in my head. I looked it up, and there is no such song. weird. It's a catchy song though.

Sometimes I wish I wasn't so crazy.

It's kind of sad how much my food choices are dictated by whether or not I'll have to floss afterward. Isn't that a little insane? I mean, that's why I haven't had ANY corn on the cob yet this summer. Summer is MADE for corn on the cob. so weird.

I miss Grooveshark, but...

The closest thing I've found to Grooveshark so far is Rdio.com. It's not great; a lot of commercials, which I HATE, and not as good of song selection, but at least I can look up music to listen to. Like right now, I am listening to the new Sleater Kinney album to see if I like it or not. I was thinking about getting it for my brother for his birthday (July 14), but I'm not sure if he'd like it. It's okay...

Twitter

I really never use Twitter for the most part, but I have an account. I was able to get NicoleParker before the actress/comedienne Nicole Parker got it. So, I often get messages that are meant for her. Nothing that she would miss...it's just kind of funny.

Breakfast

(Never mind that I'm writing about my breakfast at 3:42 p.m.), but does it make me an omelette snob to only like fluffy omelettes? It's really kind of a pet peeve when I order an omelette and get a flat egg with some crap in it. Fluff that shit up!!

ugh

I drank too much last night; I couldn't even work my whole shift today; too tired. Bad me.

pool

My pool handicap is back down to a 3. GRRR! I lost Tuesday, and I lost Wednesday. on the 8 Tuesday, and by one ball on Wednesday. blagh. I hate losing. We might not be playing on leagues for awhile after this season, but I hope we do. Otherwise, maybe just I will; if I can afford it. Well, for Tuesdays, I think it's already paid for. One hour til I start work. I should take this opportunity to take a shower.

The team!

Sunday night, Bob (piano one) and Charles were both at the bar I went to. Just three more people and our old team would have been there! Too bad the others weren't there. That would be too cool. It was great to see Bob--seemed a little less weird this time, but only slightly less! I've also been working for the last couple of weeks which feels great, even if it is only a pittance. Now if I could just get over the anxiety about doctor's appointments. I have to go to my doctor within the next week for prescription refill and blood test, which I'm not looking forward to. And I'm avoiding other appointments I should make. It would be nice if some of this fear would eventually go away.

A little work

I finally got work for at least today and tomorrow. Wish me luck! Part-time, from home. Starting in 25 minutes.

Health Update

My shingles are pretty much gone! The marks from the rash are still there a little (I hope they won't be scars!), and I still get itching/burning here and there, but so much better! Now if I could just start sleeping less. I've been in bed all day today. I also miss my one friend; I hope I get to see him SOMETIME!

Evil

There need to be a lot more news articles and shows about how evil the Koch brothers are. They fund people denying climate change. They are so evil; I just don't understand.

Well, I never!

I just noticed that someone who is a friendly acquaintance unfriended me on Facebook. I know Facebook is so stupid, and I don't really care, but it just makes me wonder if it was something I said. I think a lot of people are a lot mo...hmm, maybe that's not true...I was going to say maybe people are a lot more discerning about who their friends are, but I think I'm fairly discerning. But for Facebook, who gives a shit enough to change anyone's friendship status with you? Weird. I also recently sent a friend request to someone who was my best friend for 10 years, but not since the mid 90s, and it got rejected. I was not that surprised, but a little hurt. But I know that I'm kind of strange about friends. Once someone is a good friend of mine, I always consider them a good friend, even if I haven't talked to them in 20 years! Like, obviously, you're not currently a good friend in that we haven't talked, but I still consider them a friend and would continue on like nothing happened. I wish more people were like that. I don't want to think that I no longer matter to people to whom I once mattered. Weird, I know.

I'm not a filthy bastard, I swear

I just realized that like three of my recent posts have mentioned how dirty my hair was, or how much I needed to shower. That's embarrassing. I should start writing more interesting posts. and maybe wash my hair once in a while...

son of a ...!

I wish I wouldn't have showered today. I mean, I really wanted to because I needed it, but now my rash is killing me! It's just open sores now; soooo lovely! So, I can't tell if it hurts more than, or the same as when it was just blisters. I don't think I can use calamine on the sores, so that sucks. When does shingles stop hurting? That's what I want to know. And I still want Grooveshark; there's no other site that does the same thing and as well. (that I know of) and I also really miss my 'special friend.' ! I sound so stupid saying it like that, but I don't want to use real names on a public blog. dumb, I suppose, but whatever. I hope I get to see him soon and more often.

OW OW OW OW

My rash is worse today: It's so disgusting and painful, and it's spread to part of my back now too. I need to wash my hair but can't really get in the shower. I may need to get some calamine lotion, but I'm scared to touch it; there are even sores. rEally gross.

Sickly

Get this: I have shingles! Grrr. I went to the doctor today because of a nasty looking rash and a back ache. She gave me a prescription that i have to take 3 times a day for I forgot how long. It hurts! But at least I'm still a allowed to go out; only contagious to people who haven't had chicken pox. So hopefully, everyone I know has had them. But even if not, as long as I'm not rubbing my rash and then touching people, it should be fine. What a pain to have this though! I thought only old people got it.

Mom and Me Last Friday at Lunch

Nicole's Dirty Little Secrets

I was supposed to have an interview tomorrow but told them I couldn't make it tomorrow. Also, I really need to take a shower; my hair is in strands. I am procrastinating doing it though. I slept until 4:30 today also. Happy Cindo de Lazy!

annoying

I can't stand when "pro-life" people talk about the issue. First of all, it's offensive to call yourselves the pro-life people; everyone is pro-life, and everyone is anti-abortion. No one WANTS an abortion, but more progressive people realize that there are complicated situations with gray areas sometimes. We're not pro=abortion; we're pro-choice.

Damn it, Grooveshark!

Now that Grooveshark has shut down, where am I supposed to listen to music?! That's where I listened to pretty much everything. I don't know of another site as good or that even does the same thing. Every other site sucks. I'll have to ask around. Grrr. Plus, I lost all of my playlists. Grrr. First world problems, I suppose...

NEver mind

I was going to post something, but I'm not going to. I've been going out a lot lately; that's all. I love going out.

yay

My pool handicap went back up to a 4 after a few weeks of being back down to a 3. But I lost last night, so with my luck, I'll be back down next week. But maybe I'll stay a 4; I hope so.

Hm, I'll lose weight tomorrow maybe

It' not my fault that I ate half an omelette, 1.5 pancakes, and 3 cookies today. For the record...

Duh-Duh-Duh Dumb!

Yesterday at pool: What's that? a "I Beat a '6' patch" "How do you get one of those?" "...you beat a '6'." ugh!

Can you believe I'm still looking for a job?

After I applied for a job, I got emailed a survey to fill out. The first question was something like, 'I believe that I deserve more respect than most of the people I work with.' Well, yeah. of COURSE I do! Duh! ha.

YAY!

It was so nice to see my special friend tonight! I missed him.

Pictures of Mom, Noah, and Zoe in March of 2015

Zoe is dressed in green for St. Patrick's Day. I think she colored her hair green with chalk too.

I haven't posted anything in a while

I need to get back to actually trying to write something interesting. Some day. Not necessarily here. Anyway, I was supposed to be working all this week at the work at home job that I got, but they didn't have enough work. So now, I'm still wondering what that job is actually going to be like. I'll probably hear something next week. Tomorrow is a pool tournament that I get to play in because I came in as the second highest scoring female in the league. (Last season, I came in first and got a trophy). So, it's free to play, so I might as well! I was supposed to go practice tonight, but SOMEONE is too busy sleeping to go with me, and I don't like going by myself. So now, I'm bored. I haven't felt like watching tv lately, and I get bored eventually reading stuff online. Maybe I'll work on a crossword. I've been really enjoying those. My mom gets the Tribune, so she starts them and then hands them off to me. Apparently, these are the easier than usual ones...found in the auto section, I think she said. My brother can do the normal ones, which are harder. Well, these are giving me the confidence to maybe try those; I can always finish the easy ones. Anyway, if you're reading this, anyone, I hope you're doing well, as long as you're not a crazy bad person. You're probably not if you're reading this.

Assholes

What a dick move for Republican senators to write their own letter to Iran. Unbelievable.

Dream

I had a dream last night that I saw a pink octopus at the beach. He got stuck to my leg, and it tingled, and Pat (Dad's wife) told me that its name was Mr. Pullman.

Sundays Stink

I don't love sundays I do love sundaes. I'm so restless tonight that it's driving me nuts!

Quote from dream

I had a dream while I was napping where someone said, "Even his artful eye told of anger." I thought that was such a cool line that I wanted to write it down to remember it. My subconscious is a better writer than I. I wish I could work that into a story; maybe I'll try.

I hope to see him soon

I miss my special friend!

More!

Well, apparently, I'm not done with the training/certification for the job afterall. There's more; I'm signed up for Monday. It says "the long portion"...I hope it's not that long! I wonder if it's more of the same, or what...

Certified!

Hurray! I just finished my training and certification for the job I applied for working at home. I passed the certification! YAY! I'm kind of surprised, actually. I have no idea how well I did--I'd like to know. Anyway, now I guess I wait to hear what's next. I don't trust that I'm done with the process, but I think I am...

Nope.

Well,I didn't get the job for which I interviewed. However, I did get a work-at-home opportunity that starts in March. I have training Monday. I hope I understand the process. They keep sending like 30-page attachments to read for instructions, and it's very repetitive, but I don't trust myself with instructions. I tend to skim and then miss major points. So, hopefully, after the training (If I can figure out how to get to it), I should have a much better idea of whether or not I'll like the job. I know very little about it right now--just that it's supposed to be grading tests. When I was little, I loved grading papers for play, so hopefully, I'll like it.

Depressing

It kind of sucks when someone says they want you out of their life and want you to move out...especially when you're not in a position to do so at this time.

Pool

Today at pool I won 3-0 at 8-ball. Yay. Lost 9 ball but just by 3 balls. I heard from a teammate, more importantly, that the girl I was playing on the other team "had the hots for me". That's flattering. I'm so clueless though; I had no idea whatsoever.

Family News

My uncle in Iowa is boycotting the local donut shop because they raised the price of their coffee from $.75 to $1.50. I love my family.

Thursday

Interview is over...YAY!!!! I think it went well. Tomorrow I'm meeting my Dad...YAY!! I forgot what else I was going to say...YAY!!!

Nerves

I'm so nervous about my interview on Thursday. Part of me isn't sure I want the job; so I'm nervous. I'm nervous both ways. Wednesday is my hair cut; that's a pain too. It takes a long time. Today is playoffs for 8-ball. I'm not nervous about that. I'm so strange.

Phone Interview

Wish me luck. Oh, and I applied for an online test rater through a friend, so hopefully, I'll hear back about that too!

Maybe this should be my new LinkedIn picture??

Hot buttered rum

The annual tradition: tonight I treat my mom to hot buttered rum; her favorite!