Happy New Year's Eve and New Year

I'm sick. hrumph.

What the Dickens?!

Is it possible that I don't have a single book by Dickens in my collection? After watching a Charlie Rose episode with people talking about Dickens I got inspired to read something by him, since I don't remember the last thing, if any, that I actually read by him. Oh well. It's kind of fun to decide what to start reading...OR I could just continue with one of the books that I haven't finished. That doesn't seem as fun though. I'll keep you posted, whoever 'you' are.

I was told...

"There's a disorder for that." hardee har har

Hilary Rodham Clinton

I hope Hilary Clinton is okay..she was hospitalized for blood clot stemming from earlier concussion.

yum

I love late breakfast out on Sunday morn..afternoons! I had a smoked gouda omelette with avocado and tomato and bacon and gouda, and pancakes, and lots of coffee! YAY!

Enough with Testosterone

Today at pool there was a fight...punches were thrown. God, just stop, people. I just don't get it, and it was scary. Nothing is that big a deal, right? Not most things. When are people going to realize that alcohol causes a lot of really bad things? I enjoy alcohol too, but know how it affects you; know your limits, and keep it under control. If you can't do this by yourself, get help. That is a sign of strength, not weakness.

speechless

I don't even know what to say about story I heard except that I need to not be around people with these issues.

Note to self:

I should probably get over expecting responses to every message I ever send to people.

Fun with Mom

Mom and I went to see Christmas lights and found hot buttered rum to have. Thank you to Duke of Perth! Yum!

cozy night

I'm so glad to be home tonight able to just be with my thoughts, the sofa, and Charlie Rose. and word games, and that's about it. Guess what I'm going to think about!

sweet

such good happy feelings

Grrr

Mom canceled on me today. Now I'm all ready with no place to go. Maybe I'll still go out for breakfast...we shall see.

meh

I got some practice in, but not much. I may go back tomorrow for more--after I hang out with my mom, of course. Now I think I'll try to get a little more work done that I didn't finish yesterday. I'm working on taking the emotion out of it--just doing certain chores robotically. I also want to work on finding things I enjoy and doing them. Instead of trying to just do it...just don't do it in order to change my paradigm hopefully.Oh, and I have to remember to start using the word 'liquescence.'

Rain!

It's such a beautiful rainy day! I am going to go practice pool for free in a little while, since I choked under pressure today. I'm embarrassed about how crappy I look, but....it's a Saturday. Whatever.

woo hoo

girl's night in! that sounds so dorky. I'm in a dorky mood. Permission to not feel guilty about all the stuff I usually feel guilty for not doing. There is a chick flick on tv, and I'm going to watch it--no matter how bad--and eat popcorn and drink soda (or beer..or both!) and I'm going to have fun. At boring parts, I'm going to play words with friends and draw something. maybe you can do a similar plan, and we can enjoy it together! OMG!!

I sure do procrastinate

I need to get to work toward my daily pittance. I've played all my turns in Words with Friends. I read all the stupid Facebook posts. I checked where we play tonight. I found out that I can play early, so I can go practice elsewhere. I ate and drank coffee. I even harvested some trees in Farmville, which I really don't play anymore. I have posted some b.s. on my blog. Anything else I can do? oo, I could look for jobs too.

I suck at origami

I can't do it: I'm not dexterous enough.
I just have nothing interesting to say.
But seriously, no origami for me. Boo.
I tried to make a flower, and it
looks like some thing that I
crumpled up and threw in
the garbage.
But I can
make each
sentence
shorter.
sorta.

Where?

Where can I go to get hot buttered rum? Mom and I want to find a place. This is a rhetorical question, since no one would answer me. Maybe I'll be able to find an answer and post it here though. Preferably a place with good live music too. That's mom's wishlist. I like it.

Jazz pianist Drave Brubeck died today

It's sad. I like his music, and I'm glad that I, at least, got to see him play live once. Here is an article about him.

Motivation?

I was told today that I am invited to the company Christmas party Friday with free alcohol. I am not positive that I'll go, but I most likely will. So, I should probably get this list of stuff done, or at least try harder.

Trying not to complain

BUT...this work is pretty darn boring. Then again, I'm doing it at home, and I'm not making phone calls; so, those are definite advantages. BUT...using remote desktop on this computer is really slow, and having to do everything in a small window is very cumbersome. Oh well.

Lazy Sunday

Woke up in the early afternoon. Still in pajamas. Can't win at Words with Friends lately. I thought of a way to make more money at job I'm doing (for this week).

dumb me

I wish I didn't get jealous of people so easily. I guess it stems from wanting to be best.

I've noticed that I think I say some really obvious things. I'll have to think about why that is. (case in point: I think I'm jealous of people because I want to be best. Isn't that obvious? I feel like I'm fairly insightful, but then, maybe sometimes I'm not.)

I'm almost annoying myself!

You know you're annoying when you even start annoying yourself. I'm being a spaz. I should stop eating ice cream and stop drinking coffee, and stop boinging around reepeating non-sensical phrases.

I won

Yay. Even though I didn't feel like going to pool, I won both my matches. I really wanted to go buy a Christmas tree, but it wasn't the right time. I need to plan a little if I am going to buy one. Or maybe just a wreath. Who knows. But the place smelled yummie driving by (well, yummie like trees).

well...?

Why am I wanting white wine. Weird.

COLD!!!!

I can't warm up tonight for more than 5-10 minute spurts. I'm freezing!!

Argh!

I just listened to my friend talk about Farmville trees for twenty minutes. I should get some sort of a medal or something for that feat.

Fun Lunch Today

I got lost in the pedway, but as a result, ended up in the lower level of the Hyatt Regency, I think, and found a grand piano. There was no one around, so I played it for awhile. Best work-lunch I've had in a long time. That was funny.

Earlier this month

It's not the best picture, but I still like it:

Well...??

Should I go out tonight or shouldn't I? I already saw Jenny today and am home, so I have the whole night ahead of me. Please, do tell. Should I stay, or should I go? Let me know, okay, bye!

Hi, I'm back.

I had a nice Thanksgiving with family, and now I'm home to nurse my stomach ache. I probably should have brought some leftovers home, but I was too full to even think about it at the time. I hope everyone else had/is having a nice time too. I'm very thankful for my family and friends.

tradition

I have listened to Alice's Restaurant (a Thanksgiving tradition), and now I just have to see if Planes, Trains, and Automobiles is on tv today. And maybe listen to Adam Sandler's Thanksgiving song too.

Happy Thanksgiving

Enjoy the day and whomever you're spending it with.

Notes from the Underground

well, while the el was underground... two guys coming home from work were talking about hunting deer (grrr) and the one guy said something about going home to have "a couple glasses of vino." I hate when people say vino. Just say wine, dork. Office meetings are always the same, especially when they involve "announcements." But we got champagne at lunch, and I took an extra glass. hee hee. One way to tolerate intolerable people is to think about how you're going to tell someone you like about the asinine thing those stupid people did. I wanted to strangle a couple girls on the way home tonight. I had to run an errand, and I was in the car trying to inch in front of them so I could go when the red light turned green. Their windows were open a little, and I could hear them going, "ummm, hellLOOO?? Yeah. Okaaay....what are you doing? " and so on in the most irritating valley-esque accents holding their stupid cigarettes in the most stupid way. Blagh. They will make a couple of guys absolutely miserable someday. and on a more pleasant note....FUDGE!!! (I brought home a couple pieces from potluck lunch.)

I like these words that were said

"copious wet kisses"...especially because they were uttered by someone whom I adore.

off to the office I go

I don't feel like it.

Well, there goes patience

I used my gift card on a purse and a pair of tights within 28 hours of having gift card.

Aunt Cool

That's how Zoe addressed my card she made me. Noah drew a very cool looking picture on his. Sweet. I'm trying to decide how to spend my gift card: toward a necklace, or for a purse. I like them both. But if I get the necklace, I get another even nicer necklace for 1/5 of the original price. But that's how they suck you in. I should probably be patient, and maybe they'll have an even better sale, I mean, I've only had the card for a day, geesh!

Four dollars!

Aw yeah, I made four dollars online. I sound like an infomercial for reality. I made four dollars in just four days, and YOU CAN TOO! Ask me how!

Fun!

I had such a nice time having dinner with Eric and family. I love my family. And t here will be left-overs! Now I wash some dishes and light a candle and maybe read.

work?

I don't know if I'll be able to do the work from home like I'm supposed to do because I'll have to remotely connect to their server, and the remote desktop software runs on Mac OS 10.7, and I have 10.4. Hopefully, they'll be able to work something out.

Dinner

I'm having dinner with Eric, Jill, Noah, and Zoe tonight. YAY! I'm looking forward to it.

weirdos

Weird people make my day. This guy at work today (if it's even a real job!) was training with me, and we hadn't had a lunch even though it was after 2. I asked him if he had eaten lunch, and he said, 'I only eat once a day. If I drink beer tonight, I can't be eating too, my body just doesn't work like it used to.' what the...?! That's the dumbest reasoning I've ever heard!

HI!

How are you? I went to office for training today, and I go back tomorrow for more. I still don't know what to make of it, but it seems like I'll be getting paid based on how much work I do, and I'll be able to work from home once training is done. At least it's a little money coming in while I keep looking. Plus, I've been doing odd jobs online...well, one so far, but hopefully, there will be more. It all sounds too shady for me to feel comfortable, but hey! It's new. I had a fun time last night just like I always do with ... thank you to whom it may concern. p.s. I'm pooped.

Relaxing Sunday

I saw my Mom for late breakfast, which was totally fun, and she got me some very nice, well-thought out birthday gifts. I took a nap, and now I'm taking advantage of alone time to read the dumbest stuff online that is just plain fun. Now I need to wash a few dishes, but I'm enjoying listening to the rain a whole bunch. I hope you, dear reader, are enjoying your evening, as well.

Just a thought that I'm ironing out

When there is conflict, that is when self-esteem really makes a difference. Self-esteem matters all the time, but it's especially important, perhaps, when things are less than ideal. Reason: you can look at a troublesome situation from two vantage points--a short-sighted one, or a long-sighted one...one from a feeling of strength, or one from a feeling of weakness. Let's say that you're broke because you don't have a job. Someone with self-esteem might say, 'I need to go back to school because advancing my education will provide me with the skills and certifications that are necessary for careers in which I am interested.' Someone with less self-esteem who is broke may say, 'I can't even think about going to school right now: I don't even have money for groceries! I need to get some money NOW. I'll bet McDonald's is hiring, and they probably have benefits. Maybe someday I will have the money to go back to school.' Neither choice is bad, but it's a way of looking at the world maybe. Someone else might say, 'I need money. I should go rob that liquor store.' The latter two possibilities (or is it former? it must be latter) are more short-sighted, and the first one is more far-sighted. I think when someone has more self-esteem, that person tends to look more into the future and expects things to get better. Someone with less self-esteem doesn't really see things getting better, and so it would make sense to look in the short-term to fix things NOW (with more of a band-aid approach). I'm not sure if any of these is right or wrong, I just wonder if there is any truth to this, or if it matters. Maybe I'll write more about it later.

Vulnerability

TedTalks never fails. I remember thinking a lot about vulnerability about...15 years ago?? I don't remember all my thoughts, but basically, I remember realizing that someone (I) who feels really high highs will also feel really low lows, and I thought that some people who can't deal with the really low lows decide to make themselves less vulnerable. But then, as a result, they don't feel the really high highs, and to some people, that is an okay bargain. For me, as much as I hate low lows, I'd rather deal with that in order to feel great highs. I also think current technology shields us from vulnerability: when I used to feel really uncomfortable at a party because no one was talking to me, I had to either go talk to someone, or deal with the discomfort of just standing there. Now, I can pretend to be texting someone or looking something up online. As a result of this new capability, people are less vulnerable. But you know what else? They don't get the positive feedback from others that they once may have gotten. This is why things like Facebook and online gaming have become so popular: constant little rewards where they are otherwise lacking (there is a really good TedTalk about that too ("Gaming Can Make a Better World" by Jane McGonigal. (sp?)) I am kind of amazed at how often people post stuff like "I fixed it" or "I ran a mile today" or "Today stinks"...I was thinking about it today, and I realized (duh?) that it's for recognition and reward. Our limbic systems are starving for rewards maybe specifically from others, maybe not. We want and expect people to pat us on the backs for the effort we are putting in to life. This probably used to be accomplished through interpersonal communication, but since we eradicated that possibility with technology (exaggeration), we have to get it from things like "Like"s on Facebook. Anyway, here is a talk about vulnerability that's pretty interesting in my opinion.

I don't know how this happened

Petraeus Resigns after Affair Whenever people in government have an affair and then have to apologize or explain to the public, they act like it was completely out of their control. My interpretation of their explanations: 'this is a travesty. How did this happen? I have acted with indiscretion and have caused great pain to my family and to you, the American public...I am so sorry (read: that I got caught).' So I guess his wife is thinking Petraeus really did betray us. So, let's see who the new Director of the C.I.A. will be...I hope the new one doesn't accidentally end up with his dick in some strange new hole. Sorry, that was crass...somewhere it wasn't supposed to be.. like the last one.

Leading Through Civilian Power

Okay, this is a little dry, but if you feel like reading...by all means...do so.  It doesn't really start getting interesting until the third page, and then it gets boring again on about the sixth page, but it has its moments. It's written by Hillary Rodham Clinton, and what I found interesting was this part: 

"I am sometimes asked why development matters to U.S. foreign policy and why the United States should spend money on people overseas when it has economic challenges at home. As counterintuitive as it may seem, the answer is that development, when done effectively, is one of the best tools to enhance the United States' stability and prosperity. It can strengthen fragile or failing states, support the rise of capable partners that can help solve regional and global problems, and advance democracy and human rights."  (last paragraph, page 3.)

Leading Through Civilian Power:

Plans?

So, my mom had to cancel out on our plans for the day because she woke up sick. That stinks. At least I saw Jenny for breakfast. Now I have the night to myself. I'll probably just go get either a chocolate malt or a pumpkin latte and relax at home. It's a nice day getting birthday wishes from people and stuff. It's nice to feel loved.

No pool

So, what do I do now?

I want to write about my feelings!

Alas, I can't talk about my feelings here because...well, just because. They're personal, and I have been trying to keep some stuff to myself, and this is still public: not that I think anyone really reads this, but anyone could. Sufficed to say (I don't know how you say that...) that I have a lot of things going on in my mind today. I should probably get busy to keep myself from daydreaming so much. I wonder how other people feel. Do they feel like me? Are people willing to sacrifice some things they want, or if they don't possibly get everything they want, is it a deal breaker? Tomorrow is my 40th birthday, which doesn't even sound right to me. I don't feel t hat old; although, I guess it's not that old anymore, but it sounds like it. I'm spending it with mom, and I think some time with Jenny too. That will be really nice. Then I see my Dad Saturday morning. I'm not sure when I'll celebrate with Eric, but probably soon.

Obama Wins Reelection!!!!

Oh, it's a good night indeed. I'm glad I spent it the way I did. Good night.

Andrew Jackson Jihad concert was fun

This is them at some other concert, but they played this, and it was fairly similar. I hope the team did well and had a good time.

Wow, I'm a dumb ass

I just realized that I've had the font set to gray so that it is illegible on the background. DUH! I shall change that now.

Election Information

For people voting tomorrow, if you're anything like me, you have no idea about any of the judges. That is, unless you have a handy little guide of who's recommended and who is not recommended by the Chicago Bar Association. So here it is. On the bottom of the page, there is a little card of the ones NOT recommended that you can bring with you to the voting booth. Happy voting! Judges

Greed

I was finally asked by someone what I want for my birthday. Now I should just think of some ideas! Four shopping days left...or would that be three? Whatever. :)

wrong blog

I just realized that I have a blog for grammar-type issues, but whatever. Maybe when I figure out an answer, I'll post it there. ANYWAY... for me to look into: when to say "has proved" versus when to say "has proven." I would have though it would always be has proven, but I've noticed some sources saying "has proved."

Happy Halloween!

FUN!

I'm trying my hand at cooking off the cuff (it's been forever since I've tried to cook--let alone with practically no groceries), and I'm listening to Minha Menina by Os Mutantes after Get Happy by Art Tatum. We'll see what Grooveshark chooses next from my recent playlist. I'm cooking penne with a mishmosh of nasty vegetarian sausage, two slightly old tomatoes, and some broccoli that was about to go bad, and spices and oil and onions. We'll see how it turns out. But it should be fine because i have a bottle of pumpkin ale too! Now if I could stop looking at my phone to see if there are any new messages. DORK DORK DORK. Then I need to get back to looking for jobs, once I'm done grooving and being a happy me. Here's the playlist I was listening to:

Please Watch This

I knew the Koch brothers were evil, but I had no idea just HOW evil. This is absolutely infuriating, but very interesting too. The amount of influence they have, and their extremist ideologies are terrifying. My eyes started tearing up a little watching it because I wonder how people could be so mean and horrible. Blagh. I actually want to see a documentary of their side because I just can't imagine what that would be. Koch Brothers Exposed

Poem by Li-Young Lee

Early in the Morning While the long grain is softening in the water, gurgling over a low stove flame, before the salted Winter Vegetable is sliced for breakfast, before the birds, my mother glides an ivory comb through her hair, heavy and black as calligrapher's ink. She sits at the foot of the bed. My father watches, listens for the music of comb against hair. My mother combs, pulls her hair back tight, rolls it around two fingers, pins it in a bun to the back of her head. For half a hundred years she has done this. My father likes to see it like this. He says it is kempt. But I know it is because of the way my mother's hair falls when he pulls the pins out. Easily, like the curtains when they untie them in the evening. -- Li-Young Lee, ©1986.

Try

To wash pan from scrambled eggs, put warm/hot water in pan and heat on low flame. We'll see if that works. Also, salt and lemon for scrubbing, and baking soda (powder?) for burner grate thingies. Just try and see if they work. RealSimple.com

chillin

just watching money shows on tv. what a boring and pathetic post. I should start thinking of interesting things to say. Okay, bye.

Geeky friend alert

"How would YOU escape out of the city in the case of a zombie apocalypse? HMM? intent stare. Apparently, "take the expressway" was not the correct answer. What a nerd.

No Job

As soon as I don't have structure in my days I start obsessing and feeling bad. I take things too personally and worry. Yesterday I wrote messages to three different people and got no responses. Why? At least I called Jenny and she's not too upset anymore. Even though I think my punishment was a 1.5 hour-long conversation...pretty much her talking at me about her day(s). That's fine: People need to do that sometimes.

Jenny's upset with me

She is mad and sad that I have not been calling or getting together, and I forgot to call her Sunday. I have a feeling that my mom is upset too because I have not called her. And if my dad was the type to get upset about that type of thing, he'd be upset too. I haven't been calling anyone. I don't know what my problem is: I love them all so very much, but I just don't call. It's selfish. I need to call to show my love.

I forgot my coat where I was last night, so I should probably go get it tonight if it's still there. I am a little bit in la la land today with my thoughts. That's all for now. I'm watching the debate, but it's a little dry, so I had to take a break. I keep thinking about the way someone smelled last night...kind of intoxicating..I don't know if it's laundry detergent or what, but yum!

Maybe I'm just never satisfied

I'm already bored: it's been 2.5 hours of not having a job. I have contacted the agency about other jobs and continuing there in the future. I will spend time today contacting MANY more agencies; I was dumb not to be applying to all of them (well, I probably couldn't register with ALL because there are so many, but a lot more). At least now I can make an appointment at the dentist to get my teeth cleaned; it's overdue. I'm sure I will be posting many more inane posts with all this free time too. Enjoy the reading!?

finally home

Nothing against anyone, but some people are not worth your time--Not because they're not worthy, but because they have no clue about you. p.s. now that I read this later, it sounds like I was talking about someone in particular and like I was angry. I was not. I was just thinking about how some people are giving, and some people take, and sometimes that kind of saddens me.

Obey the Script!

There are times that I am guilty of wanting people to just blindly abide by social scripts. i.e. I want them to say what I think they should say. Case in point: I just said (in a moment of insecurity), "sorry, I'm talking at you." Now, the reason I said that is because I sensed disinterest, and I have a bad habit of addressing things like that in passive-aggressive ways, I guess. But the person to whom I was speaking said nothing in return. I thought to myself, 'you were supposed to say something like, 'no, that's fine' or 'no, you're not.' So, the fact that she didn't reassure me that I was not talking at her when she was uninterested was a verification to me that she was, in fact, not interested. So, I will try to not speak until spoken to because that's what good little girls do, right? On another note, I feel stupid for getting a haircut that no one seems to like. I'm not sure how much I like it either. No matter what, it needed to get cut, so it's not a waste or anything, but maybe I should have gone for what I usually get. Oh well, it's nice to have a change; I really just wanted it cut enough that I can start wearing my hats again--they don't work over ponytails.

Morning Math Failed Me

Woops. I realized as I was walking down Monroe at a semi-leisurely pace that I was almost on time...for 9 a.m. I start now at 8:30 a.m. In my morning haze of hitting the snooze and trying to figure out how much time I have, I was estimating for 9:00 arrival. How do you prevent something like your brain just not working? Then, I got caught too. I thought he was going to be on vacation this week, but it's next week. I explained what happened, and I think it's okay. Dummie. Dumb me. I'm starving. If anyone reads this, have a nice day.

Rationalization

Cute baby animal pictures Study

Work turns me boring

So desperate I am to do something other than work that I am sunk to the level of talking about my lunch and the weather. I know I could opt to be better than this, but that would take a little effort, and nah. So, Cosi might not be the best ever, but on a cozy, rainy day, it works pretty well. Toasty, melty, and soup work well for me on this kind of day. I walked around for 50 minutes before I decided though.

Fire drill

I haven't participated in one of those in a long time. We only walked down one flight of stairs. The guy in charge was exactly the type you'd expect...."guys. this is serious business. I know I've told you before: NO drinks in the stairwell. This has been a problem before. It may sound funny now, but what if someone slipped? These are lives we're talking about." and so on...anytime someone says, "this isn't funny" it gets just a little bit funnier. So, now I'm back to thinking about making some phone calls. Just thinkin'.

ew, ick.

Not only is the woman sitting right across from me in this claustrophobic room sniffling and coughing and sighing heavily in my general direction without covering her mouth, but I can hear both of the people in here swallowing...their drinks...their food...it's disgusting. I'm grossed out. it's going to be a day of deep-breathing for me!

IT IS raining!

People are like Gremlins when it rains.

a window

Hey, look! It's all dark and rainy outside now! yay! I wonder how long it's been like that. I assume it's raining; just in time for me to walk to the train! Can I use more exclamation points?! Sure I can!!!

oh yeah.

I forgot that I kind of like Jamba Juice sometimes. I have no idea what I got, but Tamika Nicole said it's her favorite. something something antioxidant. It's made of berries, and it's just fruit juices...blueberry and raspberry maybe? and then soup from Pret a Manger. I should see if my brother wants to go out for lunch one of these days while I'm still working. It's the kind of windy outside that makes me laugh while I'm walking. dork.

Sequestration

from http://www.auburn.edu/~johnspm/gloss/sequestration "Sequestration Originally a legal term referring generally to the act of valuable property being taken into custody by an agent of the court and locked away for safekeeping, usually to prevent the property from being disposed of or abused before a dispute over its ownership can be resolved. But the term has been adapted by Congress in more recent years to describe a new fiscal policy procedure originally provided for in the Gramm-Rudman-Hollings Deficit Reduction Act of 1985 -- an effort to reform Congressional voting procedures so as to make the size of the Federal government's budget deficit a matter of conscious choice rather than simply the arithmetical outcome of a decentralized appropriations process in which no one ever looked at the cumulative results until it was too late to change them. If the dozen or so appropriation bills passed separately by Congress provide for total government spending in excess of the limits Congress earlier laid down for itself in the annual Budget Resolution, and if Congress cannot agree on ways to cut back the total (or does not pass a new, higher Budget Resolution), then an "automatic" form of spending cutback takes place. This automatic spending cut is what is called "sequestration." Under sequestration, an amount of money equal to the difference between the cap set in the Budget Resolution and the amount actually appropriated is "sequestered" by the Treasury and not handed over to the agencies to which it was originally appropriated by Congress. In theory, every agency has the same percentage of its appropriation withheld in order to take back the excessive spending on an "across the board" basis. However, Congress has chosen to exempt certain very large programs from the sequestration process (for example, Social Security and certain parts of the Defense budget), and the number of exempted programs has tended to increase over time -- which means that sequestration would have to take back gigantic shares of the budgets of the remaining programs in order to achieve the total cutbacks required, virtually crippling the activities of the unexempted programs. The prospect of sequestration has thus come to seem so catastrophic that Congress so far has been unwilling actually to let it happen. Instead, Congress has repeatedly chosen simply to raise the Budget Resolution spending caps upward toward the end of the legislative session in order to match the actual totals already appropriated, thus largely wiping out the incentives that the reformed budget procedures were expected to provide for Congress to get better control of the budget deficit."

Wednesday

Today I will work hard because I was bad and didn't come to work yesterday due to a headache. I've already been fairly productive. Last night's debate: in my opinion, Obama won easily. I don't know what the "experts" say; I don't really care. Romney came off as an ass, which is more honest than anything else he's done recently. It was really uncomfortable when they both were trying so hard to have the upper hand and ended up just talking over each other. I enjoy paying attention to non-verbal communication at debates, but it makes something that's infuriating at times even more infuriating. They looked like idiots standing up and slowly walking forward toward the other every time they disagreed with something or thought they weren't getting to talk enough. I yelled at the tv a couple of times telling Romney to sit the hell down! Monday is the next debate. I really want Obama to get a much bigger lead, so I don't have to be worried. He will win; I just don't want any doubt.

Happy Weekend!

Have an enjoyable and relaxing weekend. I am drinking a pumpkin latte. Tomorrow I go play pool; I shall leave early so as to not waste too much time.

Mr. Autumn Man

Onion

That debate was great!

I had fun watching the vp debate. Biden won it a by a landslide in my opinion. I wanted to wipe the grin right off of stupid Paul Ryan's stupid face. It was funny how Biden was just laughing at so much of what Ryan said. That was smart whether or not it was done strategically. At several points, I had to close my eyes to focus on what they were saying because watching them was too distracting with all the smiling and laughing and sipping water. (isn't dehydration a sign of lying?)

Observations: Linguistic, and otherwise

This is the last of my complaints for the day, since I'm home now. But on the train I was reminded of how people's speech has changed. I don't know for how long now, and I don't know if it's a "hipster" thing, or just a young thing, or what, but people elongate their vowels. "It waas niiiiiice. I don't knooooow, I took a naaaaap. yeaaaaah. whateveeerrrr." It's like a horrible blend of sarcasm and apathy. 'Oo, we can't get excited about anything; that would be laaaaame.' The other observation: If working is the responsible thing to do in life, then why are people who do it such morons? If it's responsible and successful, shouldn't its participants be intelligent, likable, successful? Also, it's amazing how negative work makes me!! (although, in my defense, this is a horribly boring job.)

Introversion

Not ready to work

Maybe I have a bad attitude. I hate this job. There, I said it. I'm happy to making something rather than nothing, but it sucks. I was okay just doing research, but when I have to be on the phone, I turn into Wendy Whiner. I ate Jimmy John's for lunch, and I don't even LIKE Jimmy John's; it's so bland and chewy. It's stupid and everything's stupid. I'm irritable. So what's up with that Groupon that was available? I wonder if anyone bought it for us to use for practicing pool. I guess I have nothing to say. bah hum bug. Oh, and I smiled at a girl in the hall, and she didn't change her facial expression. Who DOES that?? People suck. My mom says I didn't use to hate people. ha. I think I started on the wrong foot this morning by turning on CNN, and they were talking around a table about drinking games for tonight's debate. Okay, that's mildly amusing for perusing the internet or chatting with friends, but not for the news. COME ON!! That started it. And I'm out of conditioner so brushing my hair after shower was a pain. I'm just bitching. I am actually trying to think of things to be negative about. I'm in okay spirits; I'm just crabby. Does that make sense? Like, if the world would just cooperate, I'd be in a good mood.

tournament

so, the tournament is in a month and fills up quickly, supposedly. I think it would be about $100 each including everything except food. That's cool. So, I guess it's just whether or not everyone knows about it and whether or not everyone's interested in it, and then actually signing up for it. I wonder if there is a deadline. Anyway, I am back on the phone at work, or supposed to be, BLAGH!!!!! I hate it. I am also totally hungry already.

Guess not

I thought about going out tonight, but since I don't have to, I guess I won't. I have no idea what to eat for dinner. Carrots? blagh not as a meal!

Totally spacing out

Wow. I am realizing how much time today, so far, I have spent doing nothing. I have timed myself twice to see how long I could go without blinking (I made it to a little over a minute! What the hell?! I felt like Jim Lehrer), and I was picturing what people I know are doing right now--maybe they're drinking coffee...maybe they're out smoking...maybe they're in a meeting. I'm also picturing what people in Southern Africa might be doing. Are they farming? Shopping at an outdoor market? I like to do that sometimes...think about some celebrity maybe...are they acting? Are they shopping? Are they watching tv? or someone in an environment so different from this one...someone in a remote village in India, for example. I just wonder...are they carrying water back to their homes? Who knows? But work. WORK!!

Still the worst

I feel happy; I'm so grateful I've been feeling so much better lately. I also have been feeling really good after Monday nights lately; it's really nice and fun. I am thinking about going to hang out more today or tomorrow, but I probably won't. I don't know schedule. I need to find a copy of Haiku Tunnel to watch to make me feel better about my boring temp job.

Ooooh, I Knooooow

Sometimes I hate listening to people talk because they sound so fakey nice. I can't stand that. No personality whatsoever--just scripts. On a related note, I have to work to not take on a Southern accent with the woman I work with; it's hard not to start talking like she talks because she has such a distinct way of talking. I wish I could pull off saying, "GIIIIIIIIRRRRRLLL....you know what I'm saying?" in a Southern accent.

9-5

Back to normal shift starting tomorrow. Sucks in the morning but will be nice at 5:00. I'm going to try to apply to some jobs now, since I've been slacking on that front. The fear is in me because a student loan payment got automatically taken out of my account despite my thinking that I was in deferment still. I should really read those email alerts.

Autumnal Lunch

Tomato soup and apple chicken salad from Cosi...which tastes like a taffy apple and lettuce! I finally remembered to bring my iPod to work, so I can listen to music without going to YouTube for individual videos of songs. They don't allow us to view any music sites, although I was able to listen to Reddit's radio thingie, but no others. I need new songs though; it's sad when you have over 1000 songs and are sick of all of them. Oh well, it'll feel like I'm driving, which will be nice.

Romney Myths

"27 Myths in 38 Minutes"

A little late on my commentary

I watched the debate last night, and I didn't think Mittens did as well as everyone acted like. I think Obama did well, and I Don't think he seemed defensive like I had read. However, I am fairly biased. I know that Romney is just full of lies--he says whatever is necessary--true or not, and so, if you believe him, sure, it seems like he did a good job. But I don't believe him. I think people who think he did well are people who are easily brain-washed. Is that too obnoxious to say?

I had the name all wrong, but it's ALL too relatable

I referred to a movie the other day and called it the wrong thing. It's a movie about a temp, and I thought it was called "The Temp". No, that was a movie, but something very, very different. The movie I was thinking of--that I want to watch again--is "Haiku Tunnel".

Finally, some nice weather!

I love walking in the rain. I couldn't make myself go quickly though, so I got to work ten minutes late by the time I got upstairs. oops. I have to remember to tivo the presidential debate tonight, since I most likely will not be home. It's going to be stupid and super-scripted though. I don't feel like working much today. I brought headphones but forgot ipod. Can you tell I'm just wasting time here? It feels stupid to be writing all this jibber-jabber. Over the weekend I watched a few old presidential debates; they sure are boring. It was kind of interesting though; it's amazing how they are still talking about the same stuff in almost the exact same way. nnnnnnyway. Enjoy your cozy rainy day: look out windows a lot, walk around in it, and drink coffee! For lunch I may have to have grilled cheese and tomato soup.

Too honest

I sometimes slightly wish that I wasn't so honest. Seriously, I may have the most devious intentions, but when someone actually asks me something, out comes the exact truth....generally. My supervisor here asked, 'so, how's it going?' and I said, 'well, I'm worried I'm working a little too slow.' Seriously, Nicole?? Why would you bring that to someone's attention? Plus, maybe then I wouldn't be such an open book: two people today (one homeless person on the street, and one person walking down the hallway at work) told me basically that I look sad, and I should cheer up. (I get that a lot, and I'm not sad at all; that's just the look on my face when nothing's happening...well, plus when I'm bored senseless.) When I was at my brother's for Yom Kippur, I did a total faux pas too that I've been obsessing about. There were a couple of couples with kids and my brother and I all talking. My brother asked if I saw bla bla bla..whose birthday was that day. I said, "oh, the really cute one?" The parents of "the other one(s) shot each other a look. Too late to back pedal, but D'OH!!! I mean, their kid was super cute too, but it just came out wrong. Well, I think I'm going to leave 15 minutes early, so I should go spend ten minutes getting ready to leave, so it's practically time to go right now (just like I have the morning time trick, I have the afternoon time trick).

I don't like the phone

I don't like having to make phone calls. That's the majority of what I'm doing now at this job. It's amazing how much I am procrastinating; that's not good. It's drudgery. Because I'm making calls to CA, now I'm working 10-6. I can handle coming in later; that's nice to get an hour more sleep, or at least time to chill for a while. See, this is me procrastinating.

Breaking the Fast

I didn't fast, but I went to my brothers for the "break the fast" get together for Yom Kippur. I'm stuffed. I am told to try applying to mental health worker positions at hospitals.

sigh

residual happy mood from last night. I had such a nice time, and it's making me happy today. I need to go back soon to practice what I learned. I may not be able to go until the weekend--not sure. Even though there is lotion here, my hands have been crazy dry from washing them maybe too much. or just the change in weather. Anyway, back to work. It's nice to say that! Bye for now.

Oh yeah, annoyance factor

I remember what annoys me about working...listening to people. I am taking a break from working to fool around for a few minutes. I was eating lunch, and there were people eating birthday cake. This girl goes, "ice cream birthday cake at work: hashtag happy day." SHUT UP! So annoying. Then this guy says to this other guy, "You tappin' out, buddy?" ARGH! Okay, that's enough messing around; I probably shouldn't get carried away and play Words With Friends or anything. As it is, I will need to delete history after coming here. Not that they probably couldn't still see that I was posting...shut up, Nicole...I'm babbling because the work is so monotonous. Alas...

Mom and Zoe 9-23-12

Apparently, Zoe spent part of her 8th birthday at Mom's place! Mom's being her usual perfect hostess self!

Meow!

YAY

Today I FINALLY had my first and only comment asking if I have lost weight. That felt really nice.

First Day Back to Work in Too Long

I made it through. It's a really boring job. Hopefully, I'll be more relaxed with each day there. I still need to look for permanent job. They didn't tell me it's in the Mercantile building...high enough for nice views.

Frontline on Syria

I would recommend Frontline's show about Syria. It was really depressing and scary, but interesting. I still feel confused, but here is more information that they provided in addition to the show. Syria

Positives

I got a temp job starting Friday for three weeks. I had lots of fun today going to the beach by myself. It's great to stare at the waves in the lake when no one is at the beach. I couldn't make myself leave because it was so relaxing. I just stood there on the edge for like 20 minutes. Then this nice older gentleman came and started talking to me. Sweet. I went out tonight and had fun. I won my match.

Onion

article

Yet another example of the "decline of civilization"

Idiocy It's a stupid ad anyway, but the fact that it bothers some people makes it seem like an article from The Onion. I almost couldn't finish reading it because it's just so asinine (may have to go on my asinine news blog). Best worst line: "I ain't no freaking chimp." If you are outraged over the idea of evolving from apes...there is just no hope for you. I am speechless.

This week

(Warning: I'm speaking off the cuff, so this may not be very eloquently stated) My "assignment" this week is to go out, have fun, trust myself, and not worry about how I'm coming across to people. Seriously. That doesn't sound too bad. The last three week, aside from a few glimmers, have been absolutely horrible where my mood is concerned. I don't think I've ever felt as bad as I've been feeling. But if I'm around people (especially ones whom I like), it makes a world of difference. When I'm the most down is in the morning and by myself with not enough to do. I desperately need a job, more to do, and friends. Also, I need to trust in myself and that people like me. I always feel like I'm constantly being tested, and one wrong move, and I'll lose people. So I'm going to try hard to trust myself more. This week: it doesn't matter so much WHAT I do, just that I have fun and kind of let go. Therapy. Also, I just got an interview at another temp agency tomorrow morning. They have some "exciting opportunities"--we'll see. Jenny and I are going to go look at some apartments together later in the week. I haven't wanted to have a roommate when that time comes, but maybe it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world for a while. But she wants to stay in Oak Park; I'd rather be in the city..but again, I should keep my options open. I could save more money sharing rent.

Discouraged

can something please go my way soon?

Obama's Way by Michael Lewis for Vanity Fair

I haven't read this yet, but I intend to in the next 24 hours.

I only have myself to blame

If I can't sleep tonight, I'll know it's because of my current snack: coffee ice cream with a cup of coffee.

GET TO WORK, ME.

I wonder if there is a study about what time is best to submit your resume for a job. Middle of the night? Early morning? Mid-afternoon? I've tried each of these; I want statistics.

hee.hee.hee.

I snuck into Riot Fest to see the tail end of Iggy Pop and the Stooges. I'm glad I did; that was fun. That was my punk rock move for the day. I also walked by earlier to hear Elvis Costello and the Attractions and some other band. I love Elvis Costello, so that was cool. I didn't have much to do today.

To Read:

"Interventions: A Life in War and Peace"

I'm so glad that Kofi Annan exists and does the work that he does.
I don't know if I'll get more confused or less confused reading his book, but I'm sure it would help my understanding to a certain extent.

Charlie Rose Rocks

His shows are so amazing. I have about ten of them Tivoed, which is great. The problem is that I'm also daydreaming, so I keep having to pause it. But anyway, The show all on science is really interesting. There is a guy who talks about creativity. He just said that if you interview second graders, 95% of them will say that they are creative. That number keeps going down...if you interview high school seniors, only about 10% will say they're creative! Sad. Okay, back to the show.

Jammies

It's time to chill; maybe watch some tv or something. and daydream.

Think Happy Thoughts!

I've really been feeling fearful, tense, and sad lately. Keep those thoughts at bay, and be happy! Think pleasant thoughts until this mood passes because it's horrible.

Thinking, Not Sleeping...from last night

I think when someone gives too much without getting enough in return (in whatever form: acting the way you want them to, or not just receiving, but also giving), then there is a finite supply. Someone can only give so much, and whether it's that person's fault, or others' fault that that person is not receiving is irrelevant: it will eventually end because no one is capable of only giving. The problem with people who don't insist on getting a little too (for example, always giving in during arguments), is that they are building up resentment over time, and if they don't express that somehow in small bits as they go along, they may just one day vanish because they can't take it anymore. It is much easier to deal with conflicts little by little. More later because this doesn't make sense.

Trying to get stuff done

Two rejections for pool team, and one maybe: waiting to hear from others.

Mood sucks

today

Never mind the hair

Early 1990s. Dad, Nicole, Mom in kitchen.

You mean there's a better method than trial and error?!

Scientific American article. (It still bothers me that Scientific American doesn't go more in-depth about the science in their articles. If not them, who??

thinking...

about the fun stuff.
I had so much fun last night because I just love so much when I can connect with someone. What I mean by connection is this: I was able to completely be myself. There are levels to being oneself, but I mean, I could really say how I feel, what I'm excited about, my thoughts, and he got it. He really seemed to understand in a way that told me he didn't just understand but felt a fair amount of it himself too. I think. I can't tell you how rare it is that I find someone that I can relate with like this, and it's like gold when I find it. Only better. It will only be as cool as I think it is if it was similar for him. I hope I related with him and really understood him: I felt really in tune with what he was saying. I felt like it would be fun to talk so much more. I feel like I need someone strong and protective in my life: I want to rest my head on his chest and just stay there for awhile. I even had a dream about it a couple nights ago. I mean in the nicest way that I want to kind of protect him too. Not that he needs it, but he kind of does. He is very strong, and such a beautiful, kind, giving person, and that is just why he deserves to have someone take care for him. How can I help him to not be so troubled by stuff? How to not get so bothered when other people don't live up to their potential, and so on. I'm going to have to think on that. I am realizing that one has to be pretty strong in her sense of self to be close to him; he expects no less. It's such a compliment really. More thinking...

Friday

Quick interview for temp job. I was the only one chosen of three for interview, so I should most likely get it. 4-5 weeks, not a lot of pay, but a lot better than nothing.

today

I am useless today.
I have several phone calls to make, and all I can do is keep thinking about how I want more of last night.

11:45 Wednesday

Lunch with Eric

possible temp job

I just got called about job using SQL for a 4-week temp job. I've never used SQL, but they said they'd train, and it's probably pretty easy. I should hear tomorrow.

Next Thursday

9-20-12 6-8 p.m.
Adler School of Professional Psychology
Information Session

too much money!

Is there a good reason that to get your PsyD (doctorate in Clinical Psychology) costs almost $200,000?! I think not! No wonder even people who are in successful careers are strapped down by student loan debt.

YAY Obama!

That speech was amazing. I actually teared up like four times, and I'm never affected like that...not with politics! I actually started crying just watching Michelle Obama walk onto the stage in the beginning and give him a hug. The part about the 2008 election not being about him, but being about "you", and that "you" made that change happen..something like that...so beautiful. And the thing about America not being what can be done for us, but what can be done by us. Very similar to "ask not what your country can do for you..." speech. I haven't watched all of tonight speeches--just that one, and Joe Biden's. I was right about Elizabeth Warren and Nancy Pelosi giving speeches---Warren's was great. Pelosi's, not so much. Oh, and Bill Clinton's was wonderful! I loved that he actually EXPLAINED stuff and didn't dumb things down like politicians so often do. AAAnyway....bye for now.

I'm such a nerd

I can't sleep; partially because I'm trying to guess who the speakers will be for the next three days of the convention. I figure one of the Clintons would be a good guess, obviously Joe Biden, but who else? Some sort of celebrity, right? Didn't Oprah speak in 2008, or no? I think Al Franken would be a good choice..maybe Kathleen Sibelius? I can't remember the economy chick's name...just looked it up...Elizabeth Warren...she might be good...maybe not charismatic enough though. A Kennedy already spoke...although I could see Caroline Kennedy speaking, but again, wasn't she in 2008? Who can YOU think of? I'll keep thinking...I guess I haven't been paying enough attention.

I KNOW how to spell my name!

Almost every time I type out my name it ends up being Niciole. except that time of course--I had to go back and add it!

DNC

I know I'm biased, but I thought those speeches were a million times better than the first night's speeches of the RNC last week.

"Opportunity is not free: we have to invest in it."--Julian Castro
And the thing Michelle Obama said about when we walk through that door of opportunity not slamming it shut behind us. I liked that one too. And Ted Strickland was great, and Rahm Emanuel was good, and the governor of Massachusetts--I can't remember his name--his was really good too.

What are your thoughts?

no job

I didn't even get a second interview for the job I thought I had in the bag. I was really looking forward to it, as it seemed like a decent fit. I thought my interview went well. I've been having a really hard week to two weeks. I want something to go my way. (That's not to say that there were not some positives along the way...) AND tonight I get to watch the beginning of the Democratic b.s. speeches! YAY. Those should be much more tolerable. As Jenny says of me, "This is my friend..she's one step to the left of Lenin." ha. ha.

argh anxiety

I need to figure out what is going on and get rid of it. There is no need to feel so anxious. I understand why I'm having some anxiety, but it should be more manageable.

Thoughts and Questions:

Meta anxiety.
Is my awareness of anxiety anxious?
Calibrate first for reliable readings.
Small risks.
What is scary about change?

hrmm

Good night; I'm going to try again because I can't focus on anything...except for two annoying flies that somehow managed to get in here.

d;jli fad ijfdai;jadf ;ij no sleep

still awake. I have to be awake in three hours. I'm going to try staying awake for awhile to see if that makes me tired enough to sleep.

sleeplessness

Ugh, all I was doing was lying in bed thinking about part of the night, and my heart was pounding to the point that I could not sleep. So cliche.

sigh

Dear Diary...

haha just kidding. I had fun tonight. It's interesting that sometimes the times that are most fun are when you have to leave early. Figures. I am SO nice. I am driving Jenny to her temp agency interview at 8:30 a.m. just because she hates driving in the city. At least I can probably get a coffee out of the deal. Now to watch some RNC videos from tonight if I can stand it...I don't have much hair left from all the pulling out while watching these things.

Well, that's cool.

It's cool that Obama did a Q and A on Reddit. Here is an article that includes the Qs and the As.
The Atlantic

Some Mistakes from RNC

thanks to FactCheck.org...

More-ons

I'm still watching some of the RNC speeches, but I just finished watching the Paul Ryan one. I will be looking up some of those things he said because it seemed like a bunch of lies, but I want to double-check.

morons

"I shook the hand of the American dream." -- Rick Santorum

"This is our country. This is our future. These are our children and grandchildren. You can trust Mitt." -- Ann Romney

Two Interviews

I hate days of interviews, but wish me luck. One at a temp agency, and one for a permanent position. Wish me luck. I really wish I could have gotten a haircut; I'm going to have to do some fancy barrette action or something. Did I spell barrette correctly? That looks completely strange. Things to think on: why do you want to work at bla bla bla company? Why do you want this job? References.

afd;ioafd;bgfb;f

I need more friends and new hobbies. I'm being bored way too often lately. I miss being around people who are positive and who want to do stuff. Plus, I think I have an inertia problem. So, how does one make friends? I hear about it all the time...

Spelling

Nicole, "canceled" has one 'l'. It is not cancelled.

I'll add more as I make the mistakes and remember.

woo hoo

I got another interview--Monday downtown 1:00.

Opera dream

I just dreamed of an opera. It was Don Giovanni, but I don't think I've ever seen that opera, and the song is stuck in my head, but it's not the actual song. It was sort of about this family, with one of the sons being really beautiful, and he kept kind of getting in trouble...something with a girl, and then he had a brother, and a dad, and they were saying his name like they were frustrated and disappointed in him, like DON GIOVAAAANI. DONNN GIO-VAAAANIIIII. Whatever, I don't remember more, very weird. Good night.

time

It's odd how often I look at the time on my cell phone just in time to see the time be the first three digits of my cell phone number.

Thursday Interview

I have an interview at a temp agency Thursday at 3:00 p.m. plus a skills assessment.

Eh, kinda cool

It's kind of neat that for Beck's next album he is sharing the sheet music. I just downloaded one of the songs; it's super easy. Too bad I can't sing.

In other news, I just got my "I <3 Obamacare" sticker for contributing to the DCCC. I don't know what to do with it...maybe I'll put it on my file cabinet. Here is what one person did with a Beck song.

Jobs at cool places

I applied to the MacArthur Foundation and to Chicago Public Radio. Both of those would be awesome to work at.

That's done.

I lost both times I played--just barely. I don't really care. It's so funny that I was so close to just blowing it off tonight; I would have had a lot more fun--that's for sure. Alas, I HAD to at least show up, or really mess things up. It's just one week. I had fun beforehand though, and that's something. Oh, and they were playing decent music, so that was a positive too. So now, I mess around on the computer, maybe apply to a few more jobs, and just chill. I like thinking of other people as doing what I'm doing. I don't like feeling like other people are out when I'm in because then I feel like I'm missing out on fun, and I hate that; also, I worry about people. I left voicemails at two temp agencies. I need to start working on lowering my anxiety levels. I haven't always been as tense as I've been lately, and I want to get rid of it; it's causing all sorts of problems for me. I notice certain people cause me more anxiety, and certain people and situations cause me less. I think in terms of life stress it's about empowering myself--taking control of stuff. Tomorrow I'm going to go talk about it, and I'm glad.

job search

I realize more and more that I want a job where I am left alone to do my work. I want to have enough specialization that people trust me to do what I need to do, and I just come in and do it. Is that too much to ask? Now, where do I find that?

Never-ending job application

Wow, this has taken at least an hour. This is the application to be a teaching assistant in reading. This is the second test--Teacher Fit Inventory. Here is one of the questions:
"As you walk into the bathroom, you overhear one of the students tell another student where to buy marijuana, but you did not hear all the details. Once the students realized that you had come into the bathroom, they became silent. Indicate how likely it is that you would take one of the following actions."

Yes, please!

oo oo, a job I'm excited about! I am now applying to a job for Teacher's Assistant in Reading for K-4 grades in Wilmette. This is perfect because I can read!

The requirements are totally easy, and the job sounds like something I'd really enjoy, so in THIS case, I totally wouldn't mind less money. Plus, school hours:

"Responsible for assisting in the planning and implementation of a child care program consistent with policies developed by the Children's Services Department and criteria defined by the Illinois Department of Children and Family Services, and the National Academy of Early Childhood Programs.

Requirements:

High School diploma or equivalent work/education experience, a minimum of 6 hours in Child Development or equivalent quarter hours from an accredited college. Must demonstrate basic reading, writing, and communication skills at a level consistent with entry into college."

Music Maybe

Well, at least I have three turns to take in Words With Friends. That will keep me occupied for about five minutes. Then maybe I'll go play on Gnusic or Gmusic or Goosic whatever the fuck it's called. I'm listening to the playlist I made from their recommendations quite a while ago. At least it's a change of pace; maybe I can find some more new music.

More applications

I just applied to the FDIC and the American Bar Association...I really need $10K more a year than possible job offer is going to offer; I think that's why I'm feeling dread..part of the reason.

As for today, I need entertainment. Would you please entertain me? I just am not at 100%, you know? I want a mojito. That's my favorite summer drink, and I've only had ONE. That's not right. I don't know what to do.

Not good.

now I'm craving soup. But, maybe I'm just tired and not getting sick. Maybe I'll go try to lie down. But I don't wanna..

Oh nose

I think I'm feeling a little sick today.

Nap Dream

I fell asleep for a while and had a dream that I was at a bar, and we were all sitting on the bartender side, but in a row. There was a team coming to play pool, and a certain guy from real life came in and was wearing a red, plaid flannel shirt with brown pants. The shirt was so long that it made him look short even though he's tall. I must have been really thirsty because in the dream I drank three glasses of lemonade really quickly. What the heck is my deal, man??

Mom cancelled

That's very uncharacteristic of her, and she didn't even say why. weird. I hope she's okay. I'm sure she's fine, maybe just not feeling great or something. So...do I hang out with Jenny, and what would we do?

Yoga

Yoga poses and stuff

apparently, yoga is not as effective as cardio or strength-training; rather, it should be used to supplement those, or for overall health, flexibility, mindfulness...

More Exercise Info

rather than exercising, I'll read about it.
"How does one particular thing go from "activity" to "cardio?" It just has to meet two principles.

1. The first is intensity: It only counts as cardio when you elevate your heart rate into an aerobic zone, which is 55% to 85% of your maximum heart rate. You can calculate your target heart rate here. Simply check your pulse during any activity to find out if your activity counts as exercise.

2. Second is time: For any activity to count as cardio, it has to last at least 10 minutes per session. Shoot for a minimum of 10-20 minutes per session, building up to a full hour over time. And remember, time can be cumulative, so 10 minutes here and there throughout the day is a perfectly fine and convenient way to squeeze in your cardio!"

"What's Your Exercise Personality?"

from Quiz
Mostly A's: Multitasking Mover

Pros: Whether at home or on your lunch break, you make the effort to squeeze exercise into your busy life, which is commendable--and no easy task!

Cons: By always doing two things at once (walking while on the phone or doing a quick home workout in between chores), you're prone to stress and never get a moment to relax.

How to make the most of it: While you should keep parking farther away from the store and doing lunges on your lunch break, look at your life and see if there are unnecessary things you're doing. Set aside 10-minute chunks of time just for you to relax and fit more focused exercise in. And to really please the Multitasker in you, choose to incorporate moves into your workout that combine multiple muscle groups at once, like squats with bicep curls or a lunges with a lateral raise.

Future Reference--Clothes

vintage dress I wonder if this would look good on me/fit. I want to remember this company. They're doing Kickstarter or whatever now.

Feeling Weird Today

I've just been feeling dazed all day...not bad...kind of good..just kind of spacey and not knowing why I'm feeling like this. It's hard to explain. Do I feel happY? Do I feel relaxed? Do I feel lovey? I think there is a little ambivalence or sadness or something in there too. Maybe because last night there was a somewhat different dynamic from what I'm used to. Anyway, I don't know what it is. It's an absolutely gorgeous day out today, and it was fun having breakfast with my dad and his wife. Tomorrow I'm going for lunch with mom in Andersonville.

Love

I have such a nice time when I really like people. I had a nice time tonight. It's so nice to be in a better mood. I feel love, and when I get sad, it's usually not sad, it's something else, I think. I'm going to finally eat my Chinese food (I kept it in the car so that I could keep having a nice time...it's pathetic how much I"d go to the ends of the earth to spend time with people); it tastes so yummy. Love, Me.

This close to a job...

I had second interview and I got call asking for references because they are "very interested in pursuing me" for the job. I'm still applying.

oh yeah a dream

I just remembered a dream I had last night.
I was in Paris, in a shopping mall (already this was strange), and everyone was speaking English and eating fried food. That was pretty depressing. I wanted to get a chocolate croissant and cafe, but all these people around me were eating cheese sticks and such. I wanted to practice understanding French, but I only found one couple of men speaking French, and they left.

hmm dream

I just had a dream where I was out playing pool with various people from teams at this weird bar and I was going to shoot and forgot I was holding my cue and asked someone if I could borrow his cue, but he didn't hear and then I realized I had my cue. Then everyone else was laughing over something--I don't remember what--and I woke up with the word aveviation in my head. I just looked it up to see if it was a word, since it didn't sound right...it's not a word. I wonder what it meant in my dream. I love when the mind makes up stuff in dreams. Okay, back to bed. Good night.

A Poem Based on a Poem

Here is the John Updike poem that inspired my poem that I will list after the Updike one.

"Fellatio - a poem

How beautiful to think
that each of these clean secretaries
at night, to please her lover, takes
a fountain into her mouth
and lets her insides, drenched with seed,
flower into her landscapes:
meadows sprinkled with baby's breath,
hoarse twiggy woods, birds dipping, a multitude
of skies containing clouds, plowed earth stinking
of its upturned humus, and small farms each
with a silver silo."

John Updike

___________________________________________________
Fellatio

I read John Updike’s “Fellatio”
and need to work

in an office with you—
3rd shift.

I am clean, but
the air is very, very

dirty. This place is filthy.

I’ll be Employee of the Year;
my picture will be framed
above your head.

Every time you get up,
I’ll be there.

I want to be so good,
I’ll put YOUR lips around your Bic--
use YOUR tongue to lick that tasty sticky strip.

You make me crude—
how can I type up these documents properly,
when my head is filled with
want need you, hair, skin?

I need to focus—
on the head of your pen
as I take dictation;
it must be a rollerball.
I swirl the tip of my pen
around your deliciously salty words.

You’ll fill my mailbox
with letters of praise.

“Employee:
You may not be as hard
a worker as me;

You may not always rise
to the occasion, as I do, but
you grab the bull by the horns,
think outside the box, and
you carry your share of the load.

-Dick.”

I"m home

I am back from chasing the sunset and then driving in the rain. The sunset was beautiful if anyone happened to catch it...around 7:45. Now I'm eating beets. What are you doing?

I'm bored

I'm regretting my decision to stay in, but I don't want to feel uncomfortable again like last night. I don't want to sit there by myself trying to look like I am enjoying myself when I am not. Maybe I'll go for a drive later and SEE if I feel like stopping anywhere. It sucks to be home when you don't feel comfortable at home. It will be so nice to get into another place eventually.

Phew, that's over.

Second interview seemed to go well. I think part of why i'm not excited about the job is that the first person who interviewed me told me the things wrong with the company kind of. I respect that and really appreciate it, but she forgot to tell me anything positive (or there isn't anything positive). So it just seems like drudgery. Anyway, Now I have just me til Friday. Not sure how to spend my time. Do I go out? Do I stay in? I wonder if people ever want to see me. They certainly should; I'm remarkable company. If you disagree, you clearly need to work on your social skills. I shouldn't use much gas. Maybe someone will ask me to hang out; that would just be swell. I can't decide if I should wash off the make-up from my interview, or keep it on and go somewhere while I possibly look slightly better than usual.

I think at least two people (me included) are willing or are expecting to be on the team next season. But if two other people are off, and the newbies don't do it again (I know one will be back at school),..I lost my train of thought...then it will probably be a thing of the past.
I forgot that I was asked to be on Saturday team; I said yes because I like being awake and out by a reasonable hour, and I can skip a lot. What else should I talk about? eh, that's it for now, I guess.

AHHH I'm so nervous

I hate interview days. As my mom would say, I am 'fit to be tied.' Blagh, I can't focus on anything, and I have an upset stomach. It doesn't help that I was already stressed either. I have to be there in 2.5 hours.

dream

I had a dream last night that my brother and sister-in-law were telling me that I have bad breath and people don't like me. Wow. This mood better turn around soon!

sad

It hurt my feelings that I told someone that I was going somewhere, and I got there just in time to see that person leaving. Was it to avoid seeing me? I was going to say hi, but I thought he'd be coming back. Plus, I'm still sad about the stuff I was sad about last night.

not today

Mom and I decided against the art show today, since she just went there with Zoe yesterday, and I didn't feel like showering (Sunday=lazy). So, we're getting together Wednesday for lunch instead. 11:00 she'll pick me up. So...I have my Cheerios; I have my coffee; I have no plans.

I ended up talking to Mom for over an hour on the phone. Her funny stories were that when she went for breakfast with Noah, she told the cashier that she is eligible for the senior discount, and he said, "take off your glasses" (maybe sunglasses??)--she did--then he said, "oh okay." She said she burst out laughing. The other story was that she was in the parking garage at her condo, and she said hello to an old couple (everyone else in the building is quite a bit older and older-seeming than my mom), and as they were getting in the car, my mom just caught the woman saying to her husband, "WHO...was THAT?!" What a bitch. But mom thought it was hilarious.

So, I apply for a bunch more jobs later today because I'm not feeling good about the job that second interview is for Tuesday. I want to feel at least a little enthused about SOMETHING. I'm not sure what to do about pool tomorrow. On one hand, shirk summer duties, but on the other hand, that screws over members of the team who do their part. I don't like screwing people over, so I'm not sure what to do. Do I just not get a hold of anyone, and not show up unless someone asks me if I'm coming? Do I just show up, since there are only a couple weeks left? Do I not show up and not answer my phone? I don't think I can be that irresponsible. I would feel guilty since I would not actually have other plans. I'll see how I feel tomorrow. Happy Sunday to anyone reading this.

insomnia

Last night and tonight have been utter failures where sleep is concerned. Thoughts are keeping me up, I think.

stressedout

I'm stressed and I'm not saying why. I have too much anxiety; why, and how do I get rid of it? Please help me. Thank you. Good night. In the morning I go to an art show with Mom. I'm looking forward to that.

boring

I don't feel like doing anything.

Bark once if...

you think I should go out by myself tonight.

Bark twice if you're stupid.

Bark three times if you're a cat.

Bark four times if you're a dog.

passwords

People who can't remember their passwords should not be allowed to have passwords.

Should I admit defeat?

I haven't really been able to sleep yet..maybe ten minutes here and there--I'm not sure. SO...do I try, try again, or do I just give up, make coffee and act like it's Saturday morning now (which it is)? I wonder if there are any good cartoons on tv nowadays? I don't think so. That's a shame. I don't think I'm awake enough for that just yet. My mind just never turned off enough to sleep. I keep thinking or imagining or whatever. I have a little tiny bit of a headache. What to do, what to do, what to do....? I want more Cheetos, but that would be very bad. Maybe Cheerios? or wait?

SeriouslY??

This bag of CHEETOS says "Made with all natural oil. We grow the best snacks on Earth."
Wow, it's nice to know that I'm snacking so healthily!

Fuck, it's 6:16 in the morning and I'm up playing on the computer and muncha-munching on Cheetos. Classy.

sigh

I hope he remembers and feels good about the time we hung out tonight. I liked walking the dog with him. I get so excited around him but also feel comfortable. I wonder what he was talking to bartender about. I felt bad not saying goodbye; it didn't work out. I just wish he'd gradually feel comfortable talking more about himself; every time he starts, he shuts himself up a lot of the time. I'm having trouble sleeping, but I shall try again. Good night. :)

Test your Political Knowledge with 11 questions

Pew Pew

dork dork dork dork dork

Yeah, I was just googling myself, WHAT?! Anyway, I just think it's funny that I found this old presentation I did for a very silly class. The instructor must have posted students' work online.

Betty Friedan from Thomas Tresser

Jenny

Poor Jenny got laid off today. That SUCKS. She's handling it remarkably well. I apparently am going to be helping her with her resume tomorrow, as well as helping her with her computer woes. An installation disk is being shipped to her from Dell. I can't imagine it being anything more than 'click' 'click' 'next' 'next' 'okay' and so on. But she is computer-illiterate enough that that is a bit too much for her to handle on her own. I should set up her printer while I'm there. She is still of the mindset that you print out 50 resumes when you're looking for a job. We do things a little differently to say the least.

I'm diplomafied

My diploma finally came in the mail. Bachelor's is finally done after 21 years. Oy. Maybe by the time I'm dead I'll get a Psy.D.

what do you do if...

So, I got a call to come in for a second interview at... That's great, but the salary range is $10,000 less than I need.

What do you do in that case? I know I should take anything, but I tend to get complacent in jobs once I have them, and it's not enough money. IF it came to discussing salary or accepting or rejecting the job, what should I do? Too bad no one will tell me here. I know I should tell them my salary wish, ask if there is the possibility of making close to what I want in the near future, and then probably take it regardless, but I wonder if I'm right. I don't always trust myself. Plus, I'm not excited about the job or the money. What is wrong with me?!

I should go to Dairy Queen. I really should...

It would be a great day for...

one of my favorite lunches is (only on rainy days) grilled cheese sandwich, tomato soup, and chocolate milk. Alas, the only ingredient I have besides skim milk is bread.
Damn damn damn.

News Room funny lines from episode 4

"I'm on a mission to civilize."
"Anchor Rancor"

Good night

Sweet dreams.

kitty...continued...test

^..^
>--<
nope.
^ ^
O O
^
(-)
certainly not.
um,
^..^ meow
>()<

Procrastination...continued

Why does this cup of coffee taste like a cigarette?
Aww, cigarettes. sigh.

Procrastination--Things I need

interview shoes
Sonicare toothbrush head replacement
hair rubberbands
caulk

Nope.

Ounce of Prevention of Employment.

1455

got it.
phew.
^..^

awww, that looks like a kitty!

anyway, 6:00 p.m. downtown...walkwalkwalk the usual way.
right off train, but I'll have car.
dumb. (not me; the situation!)

Class

I'm supposed to go speak for a few minutes to my ex-professor's class, but I can't find the email that says WHERE. argh. Plus, I have an appointment an hour beforehand, so I'm going to have to hustle a little. I hope she gets back to me as to the location.

Stuff I thought about...

I think when I make self-deprecating remarks it is because I edit myself too much. I edit myself too much because I am scared to be angry because I don't want people to be like, 'you're mad? well, screw you' and just go away. It's not worth it to me. I don't know why I think that they would do that...something to ponder. So I start out saying probably something that's more honest (I don't try to be less than honest, but sometimes I don't know the correct amount of feeling to have), and then I rethink it because I don't want to sound too mean or too whiny or whatever, and it seems like it often ends up insulting to me because that's safer than actually saying that I'm upset. Plus, I think I expect people to read between the lines...it's not their responsibility to do that though. So maybe I should experiment: when I start out saying one thing and re-think because it seems too mean and I think about rewording it, maybe I should resist the urge, say the original thing, and just see what happens. What if someone thinks I'm a bitch and is like screw her and doesn't talk to me anymore? Or likelier, just doesn't talk to me for a while? Or even better yet, maybe someone will talk to me about it; that's the healthiest option. I'm okay with talking about stuff. I don't mind people telling me they're pissed about something, or any other feeling, as long as we can work it out and they'll still be around. If it's a big enough deal, maybe they won't even be around, but most things aren't that big. This doesn't count as sharing my feelings too much because I'm just trying to figure something out about myself in a productive way. I am flattered when someone tells me constructive feedback--even if sometimes it's hard to hear--because it shows honestly and enough care to bother. The best way for us all to grow, I think, is to get other people's feedback. Not everyone agrees with this. It gets confusing. On one hand, don't worry what other people think, but then again, it's helpful to know what other people think because we are so biased about ourselves. The way I've thought about it for many years is this: no one thinks he or she is crazy (not really), but some people are crazy. Therefore, some of are are dead wrong about ourselves. No one thinks he or she is the wrong one, but some of us clearly are. SO...that means that when we are sure we're right, we might not be, so we should contemplate that sometimes. I don't know.

Stuff to think about

I won't think too much, but I need to work on not saying 'I feel stupid' and similar because that seems insecure and...unattractive, I suppose. But I need to realize that just because acting that way is not the most attractive, that doesn't mean that people who realize I do this dislike me. It's not a rejection, I don't think. They are just letting me know maybe that I am better than that, or maybe, that they deserve better out of people they know. I'm not sure. But whatever, I shouldn't frame things in that negative and self-deprecating light. Say how I feel and trust that that won't make people reject me, and if it does, they're dicks.

D-O-N-E

a hur and a ray.

I ended up thinking, 'huh, what a weird fucking book.'
and into the bookcase it goes--between "Revenge of the Lawn" by Richard Brautigan (not yet read) and Nightwood by Djuna Barnes (not yet read).

After thinking about it a little, it was really hard to get through, but there was enough good writing, and stuff ended up making just barely enough sense that I kind of ...mm, appreciated it. I wouldn't QUITE say I liked it, but I kind of liked it.

Now, back to getting my hands around an old, wrinkly Balzac.

This will sound sophomoric, but..

why don't people ever understand me? Sometimes I get in a mood, and I expect others that I encounter to be in that same mood, or at very least, understand that I am in that mood and cooperate. But instead, they're not in the mood, they don't understand my mood, and they do not cooperate. Then I end up in tears because I'm reading a book all about solitude. Upside: two pages left. I will let you know when I finish because there will be much rejoicing. :-)

Now with no typos..."One Hundred Years of Solitude" quote

This is just nice writing:
(it is describing a scene where he forcefully threw her on the bed and tore off her robe after she had just showered...)

"Amaranta Ursula defended herself sincerely with the astuteness of a wise woman, weaseling her slippery, flexible, and fragrant weasel's body as she tried to knee him in the kidneys and scorpion his face with her nails, but without either of them giving a gasp that might not have been taken for that breathing of a person watching the meager April sunset through the open window."

job search part deaux

I also just applied for "Ezine Editor" position. I could see myself having that title. That's what it's all about really, whether I can see myself with a title, right?? I just can't seem to make myself apply for more admin jobs right now. But I have to apply for everything. grblagh.

job search

I just applied for a position for part-time content screener for obituaries. I do worry that I'd be crying for a majority of my work, and I do worry that all I can think about is the "Curb Your Enthusiasm" episode where there was a typo in the obit that said "Our beloved cunt" instead of aunt. I would be constantly searching for that. Still, it's work from home, and although the ad said it's too much work to have with a full-time job, I find that kind of hard to believe. I would have to have another job because it's shit pay, but hey: MONEY!

I Scream

I need ice cream. (hi!)

fun..sort of...

I found codeacademy.com and am learning the most ridiculously simple form of javascript that must have ever existed. I wonder how in-depth it will get. I wonder what ELSE I can learN. In the past I have learned the itsiest bitsiest amounts of Basic and Unix. (don't make fun of me; I mean, REALLY basic (pun intended) stuff. OH yeah, and I dabbled in html enough to create a very, very simple web page. (I forgot now how you're supposed to write that. I think it's webpage now.) I got some text, a picture, and some links, and a background color, and then I think I lost interest. That was probably ten years ago.

WEEEE Rain!!!

It's so stupid how much I love a good thunder storm! I was going to go for a walk; it's a good thing I didn't. It's a little too much rain for a leisurely stroll. I'm not sure if I should go out later or not.

Wow, you really ARE an apple.

hee hee. annoying orange. I like it because Noah.

grrrr

stupid piano is NOT cooperating. It keeps playing all the wrong notes, and now, oddly enough, I'm having trouble typing because my fingers are wanting to go where they went on the piano keyboard. heh. that's funny. But seriously...stupid piano. I wanted it to sound pretty. It should really practice more.

dream

weird dream that I broke the window in the front door of a house that I was living in, but some guy was coming to the door, and he thought he did it. I should have taken responsibility, but he said his insurance would cover it. Then there were two blonde girls and two brunette girls and a blonde guy and a brunette guy and they were all laughing about how perfect that was and the girls were all competitive with each other but laughing about it, and it was like the guys were getting turned on by everything happening. Very weird. Oh, and the guy was carrying an honor society folder and I said I recognized him from school and he was all flattered and kept asking was it this class? was it that class (Used names of classes in the dream).

He collects antics?! I'm there!

Thomas Reeves tomreeves@artbbmail.com

7:33 PM (7 minutes ago)

to me
Thank you for sending your resume,

Your interest about the job has been received. This might seem a little different from the Reception/ Administrative Assistant position placed however it is due to the need for an urgent replacement for my Personal Assistant the Office Temp position was placed. I really need someone urgently to take up the position as my personal assistant and also help me with shipping, mailing and general errands. My name is Thomas Reeves and Mr Fang Lee use to be my personal assistant and he just traveled back to his country (China) on an emergency. I would have loved to meet up with you to talk about this job, but I am currently away on business trip. I am currently in Australia so there will be no interview, till I get back to the United States in July, then we can meet and talk more about the future of the job as i would be setting up an art gallery and I can have you manage it. All you need to do is follow instructions daily. I am an Artist. I just started my own art gallery here in Australia, I buy ideas, Artifacts, antics and materials from ancient cities and I have got so many clients as companies, individuals and governmental institutions and private museums.

I am looking for someone who can handle my personal and business errands at his/her spare time. Someone who can offer the services listed on the advert on careerbuilder such as receiving calls and reporting back to me what information you got from clients, replying emails and printing invitation for exhibitions, shopping for gifts and materials, paying bills as well as receiving payments from clients when am not around, handle local cash and transfers on my behalf such as Western Union. This position is a very trusting one and a high level of trust worthiness is required. So if you know you fit into this category/personality then i would be expecting your prompt response back.

You will work on the average of about 20-30hrs per week and I will start by paying you $400 per week which will rise to $600 depending on how effective you are, the job will start from the moment you start running errands. This job is temporary and could possibly be a permanent one for you based on how you deliver your duties, we will talk more when am back and you can take part more in my successfully growing business.

I will email you the list and samples of pictures of what to shop for when I need you to shop for me and will be precise on what and where, funds will be giving upfront and the shopping must be reported in detailed manner. No heavy packages is involved! You can do the shopping at any nearest stores. I will provide clear set of instructions for each task I need done as well the funds to cover them.


Please provide the following information of you, (no mistakes in name as it will appear on payments):

Full Name:
Full Address:
Apartment number:
City:
State:
Zip code:
(NO P.O.BOX)
Phone Number:
Current Occupation:

Once you send all this information, i will make a back ground check on your details and will get back to you within 24hrs to let you know if you get the job.


Thank you!

I Need to Find Results for This

I forgot to put a link...here it is so you too can take the sample test. Career Development Test I found a test you can take to figure out what careers you might be good for, but without paying, I was only allowed to take a "taster" version, and I didn't get a list of careers that would be good for me. I'm hoping that I'll somehow be able to find that though. Here are the results that it DID give me about me.

Practical and Realistic: Low
Low

People scoring high on this scale are practical down to earth people who are good at facts and rely on their experience. They remember names, faces and directions quite easily and are usually accurate in observing detail. They are reliable, no nonsense types. They are not always very creative nor do they usually see the 'big picture', preferring instead to stick to the facts and rely on their own past experience. They are good at jobs involving facts and figures where attention to detail is important such as in accounting and administration.

You scored low on this scale suggesting that you would not be particularly comfortable in activities involving considerable reliance on facts and reality. You may find such activities, for example, book keeping or administration, rather dry and lacking a creative and imaginative element that your personality type might prefer.

You would probably be unwise to become too heavily involved in these 'practical and realistic' activities which may well play directly to your weaknesses which are likely to be a disinterest in facts and detail. Instead, you may need to look for something more imaginative, creative or strategic.

Creative and Innovative: Very High
Very High

Your very high score strongly suggests that you are very ingenious and imaginative. You are almost certainly quick to see new possibilities and have a facility for vision and strategy. You are likely to have an intuitive understanding of how events unfold and be able to 'see' into the future.

You are almost certainly motivated by new projects and ideas and can find ingenious solutions to problems. However, you will almost certainly find routine activities quite dull and so your challenge will be to stay motivated long enough to get your ideas and concepts put into practice. The downside to all this creativity and ingenuity is that you are probably less interested in the detail which could result in you making small mistakes that destroy your credibility.

You are most likely to be comfortable in activities which involve designing and planning for the future and creating new theories, systems and techniques. Avoid routine, fact-based activities wherever possible as this will play directly to your weakness which is a lack of interest in down-to-earth routine.

Objective and Analytical: Very Low
Very Low

People who score high on this scale tend to be very objective in their decision making, arguing their case through logic and principle. They are more comfortable with impersonal and objective judgments and can make difficult decisions based on logic rather than sentiment. Their choice of activities tends to reflect their ability to make impersonal judgments and they may not be comfortable in areas involving emotional sensitivity. They can appear cold and unemotional.

You scored very low on this scale suggesting that you would be very uncomfortable in activities involving complete objectivity and tough decision-making and that you would almost certainly be more comfortable in more people oriented and caring activities.


Sympathetic and Harmonising: Very High
Very High

You scored very high on this scale strongly suggesting that you are very sympathetic to other people and like to work in harmony with them. You almost certainly make your decisions based on the wish to get on with other people and take their feelings into account rather than on ruthless objectivity.

You are likely to be very sensitive to the needs and motivations of other people, to be trusted by them and have a natural empathy with them. However, there is a danger that you might avoid facing up to critical issues in an effort not to upset other people which might appear to your more ruthlessly objective colleagues as muddle headedness and indecision. Therefore, activities involving dispassionate or difficult decision-making might be best avoided.

Your strong preference for empathising with people suggests that you could be very persuasive when you choose to be, making you a useful team player and good at selling ideas. What would probably satisfy you most is using your natural empathy and ability to communicate with other people in such diverse areas as community care, counselling, selling or teaching although there are many other occupations where this talent could be used.å

Songs that Make Me Happy? ... Anyone??

I remember that I was going to make a list here of songs that make me happy. I think I haven't done it because almost any song can make me happy, so it's hard to pick some. Happy, silly songs are too easy. Then, should I list them as videos as I did with the other list of songs, or should I just put links to the songs? I should at least pick a couple, or try. (more coming later...)



Wave A White Flag







9mm Go Bang

not happy

not happy not happy.

I love my niece and nephew

They're so cute.
There were no disasters--just a couple of close calls when they started whining about who got whose candy, and who got to watch their show on tv while the other one showered first. When I tucked them in, Noah said, "shouldn't we hug?" awwww. I'll try to think of other highlights. I was going to go out afterward, but when I called, I was told to "go home." Alrighty then. (Oh, and Jill feels the exact same way as me about One Hundred Years of Solitude. That made me feel better. She was able to put it down and not look back. I have to say as I'm nearing the end, I'm SORT OF liking it a little more. We'll see what happens; I'll let you know. I know you care. I know you do.