I hate moods.
I think sometimes when I have fun it makes me sad the next day because...I don't know...maybe it's back to reality after knowing something different. That sounds stupid and overly dramatic, but you get the gist...hopefully. I just got an email from my mom that is a travel itinerary--it's either a sample itinerary--or she's going all sorts of cool places in April...Singapore, Mumbai, Dubai, Alexandria, and more.
I don't understand how she's able to do this, but that's amazing. I better call and get the info. I feel guilty that I haven't been good about calling my family. :(
The job search makes me sad because (whispered tone) I don't want to be an assistant to anyone. I want to do work that I'm proud of, and I want to use my brain (gasp), and not just do grunt work that others don't want to have to do. It's not good on my esteem. I'm smarter than that. My old boss said, 'this isn't what you want to do for the rest of your life, is it?' How do you answer something like that to your boss?! Maybe that's part of the problem: I was raised to do whatever it takes to get the job; so....I feel like I'm being less than honest at interviews. That would explain how mentally exhausted I feel afterward.
I just need hugs and love and support right now. Things are starting to turn around, but nothing is in place yet.
Yeah, I'm back because after writing that, I started crying. I hate that people see crying as high-maintenance or unstable or whatever..it's not. It's just being human. I just hate when I feel defeated and like everything is a stress. None of this is horrible or anything, but blagh.
No comments:
Post a Comment